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Help for our friend??!!??



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 23rd 05, 12:05 AM posted to alt.child-support
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Default Help for our friend??!!??

Hi all!

I read this group regularly but haven't posted much. I need to ask a couple
questions and hope that someone out there can give my hubby and I some tips
to help a friend of his. Long story short (I hope!!)

Hubby's friend John is going through a VERY nasty divorce. Neither spouse
was willing to go to counseling to change what needed to be changed and
John's wife is sure that the only reason their marriage is breaking up is
because John drinks too much (I may have to agree). John is a wonderful
provider but has always been a part-time father because his wife won't let
him say/do anything to the kids. Her attitude is that he couldn't possibly
know how to relate to a child. So John and wife work, have a beautiful home
that John built most of by himself. They have 4 kids and make bundles of
money.

Fast forward............ John's wife kicks him out. The wife works for an
attorney so John hires his own. Well there are several appearances that
John misses because his atty didn't tell him about them. So, John is in
contempt of court. John fires that atty and gets another one who is a
scrapper. John shows up for court one morning (after a night of drinking)
and his STBX says she smells alcohol. John gets an immediate breathalizer
(sp??) and blows a .03. The judge says supervised visits with his kids.

The REAL problem is that John has, for the past 6 or 7 months, been paying
his STBX direct rather than go through the friend of the court. (this is
Michigan btw). So, the court case finally gets far enough to where the FOC
is now involved and he's THOUSANDS of $$$$ in arrears. Yesterday John finds
out that there is a bench warrant for his arrest. If he gets arrested he
loses his job. Flat out. John pays his CS every week, paying $2,900 a
month. Why can't the FOC tack the arrearage onto what he pays every week?

Both my hubby and I don't want to see John go to jail and lose his job. Is
there anything that can be done? HELP!!!!!

Thanks!
Pat


  #2  
Old November 23rd 05, 02:31 AM posted to alt.child-support
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Default Help for our friend??!!??


"Pat" wrote in

Both my hubby and I don't want to see John go to jail and lose his job.
Is there anything that can be done? HELP!!!!!


The circumstances of the separation are irrelevant, what is relevant to FOC
is the money.
If he is in arrears and more than $10,000, then it's an automatic felony
that you cannot defend.

Not to worry, the DA will make him sign a waiver to pay all arrears in a 5
year period, plus still pay his monthly CS rate.
It's a real racket the state has going, but very few people do real prison
time!





  #3  
Old November 23rd 05, 03:49 PM posted to alt.child-support
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Default Help for our friend??!!??

John's a drunk. He doesn't just drink too much. Anyone who shows up to
court stinking of booze is a drunk. His ex-wife was correct in limiting
his parental involvement. Her mistake was getting with him in the first
place. I don't care how much money he was bringing in.

I agree with supervised visits for drunks and addicts. What's worse:
supervised visits with his kids or killing his kids (or someone else's)
'cause he was out drinking??

If he's been paying his ex $2900/mth for 7 months, why is he so much in
arrears? That's over $20K in CS.

  #4  
Old November 23rd 05, 05:49 PM posted to alt.child-support
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Default Help for our friend??!!??

wrote in message
ups.com...
John's a drunk. He doesn't just drink too much. Anyone who shows up to
court stinking of booze is a drunk. His ex-wife was correct in limiting
his parental involvement. Her mistake was getting with him in the first
place. I don't care how much money he was bringing in.


While I agree that John is an alcoholic, I don't agree that his STBX was in
the wrong for getting with him in the first place. He didn't drink as much
17 years ago. His drinking became a problem in the past couple years.

I agree with supervised visits for drunks and addicts. What's worse:
supervised visits with his kids or killing his kids (or someone else's)
'cause he was out drinking??


That's assuming that he drinks when he's with his kids, which he does not.
I think erring on the side of caution is a good thing and do agree with his
supervised visits.

If he's been paying his ex $2900/mth for 7 months, why is he so much in
arrears? That's over $20K in CS.


Because he has not paid it directly to the Friend of the Court. It was paid
directly to his STBX. I found out yesterday that he is approx $13,000 in
arrears, because he started sending his checks to the FOC, rather than
direct to the ex. In Michigan, if you don't pay your cs through the FOC, it
can and most likely will be considered a gift, not cs and you are
automatically in arrears.

P



  #5  
Old November 24th 05, 06:21 AM posted to alt.child-support
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Default Help for our friend??!!??


"Pat" wrote in message
...
wrote in message
ups.com...
John's a drunk. He doesn't just drink too much. Anyone who shows up to
court stinking of booze is a drunk. His ex-wife was correct in limiting
his parental involvement. Her mistake was getting with him in the first
place. I don't care how much money he was bringing in.


While I agree that John is an alcoholic, I don't agree that his STBX was

in
the wrong for getting with him in the first place. He didn't drink as

much
17 years ago. His drinking became a problem in the past couple years.

I agree with supervised visits for drunks and addicts. What's worse:
supervised visits with his kids or killing his kids (or someone else's)
'cause he was out drinking??


That's assuming that he drinks when he's with his kids, which he does not.
I think erring on the side of caution is a good thing and do agree with

his
supervised visits.

If he's been paying his ex $2900/mth for 7 months, why is he so much in
arrears? That's over $20K in CS.


Because he has not paid it directly to the Friend of the Court. It was

paid
directly to his STBX. I found out yesterday that he is approx $13,000 in
arrears, because he started sending his checks to the FOC, rather than
direct to the ex. In Michigan, if you don't pay your cs through the FOC,

it
can and most likely will be considered a gift, not cs and you are
automatically in arrears.


And the beat goes on.


P





 




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