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Child behavior- kicking



 
 
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  #1  
Old September 22nd 04, 07:28 PM
Jill
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Default Child behavior- kicking

Just a kid I know, Just curious. How would you guys handle a 2 and a half
year old child (boy) who kicks? Like, he will just walk up and haul off and
kick someone, and his parents do not say or do anything to him? He kicked
one of his grandparents, who promptly spanked him, and it made the parents
angry at the grandparent.

I don't believe it is ok for someone to spank another person's child if the
parent does not want them to. I am not a big believer in spanking but I do
think I would spank R. for something major and intentional, and where safety
is concern such as if she runs to the street when told not to etc. Of
course, I will watch her and not let her run around unsupervised anyway. But
when she is older I won't be able to watch her 24/7.

But I am telling you, if this kid had kicked *me* (it's a relative), I think
I would have spanked him too. He is out of control.

Opinions? Discipline that would work when "time out" is a joke? "Time out"
does not work for every kid although I know a 3 year old boy who finds time
out to be the WORST punishment ever, and will do anything to avoid it. lol.



  #2  
Old September 22nd 04, 07:36 PM
Denise Anderson
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Default


"Jill" wrote in message
om...
Just a kid I know, Just curious. How would you guys handle a 2 and a half
year old child (boy) who kicks? Like, he will just walk up and haul off
and
kick someone, and his parents do not say or do anything to him? He kicked
one of his grandparents, who promptly spanked him, and it made the parents
angry at the grandparent.



I don't believe that spanking a child for violence really makes much sense.
And I do spank my children for other things. "Hey, so and so, we don't kick
because it hurts people.." but let me spank you. Its kind of hypocritical.
I would also have a problem with any of my relatives spanking any of my
children. That's my job. Discipline, fine. Redirection, fine. But not
spanking...


Denise


  #3  
Old September 22nd 04, 08:47 PM
firedancer623
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Default


"Denise Anderson" wrote in message
news:yCj4d.49$iD6.27@trnddc05...

"Jill" wrote in message
om...
Just a kid I know, Just curious. How would you guys handle a 2 and a half
year old child (boy) who kicks? Like, he will just walk up and haul off
and
kick someone, and his parents do not say or do anything to him? He kicked
one of his grandparents, who promptly spanked him, and it made the
parents
angry at the grandparent.



I don't believe that spanking a child for violence really makes much
sense. And I do spank my children for other things. "Hey, so and so, we
don't kick because it hurts people.." but let me spank you. Its kind of
hypocritical.
I would also have a problem with any of my relatives spanking any of my
children. That's my job. Discipline, fine. Redirection, fine. But not
spanking...


Denise


I agree with Denise. We never spank for that reason. However, I can probably
count on one hand the # of times I've ever even swatted my kids on the butt.
And FWIW, it didn't help to correct anything.

I'd never, ever spank anyone elses kid. I'd be *very* upset if *anyone*
layed a finger on mine. That includes grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.

When I was about 4, we were at a family picnic and one of my relatives
slapped me across the face. She said I was being annoying or bothersome as a
4 yr old can be. I actually remember it because I thought she was the
greatest and I was probably invading her personal time or something. My
parents went through the roof and to this day remember how heartbroken I
was. I just don't think it's right of others to correct your child, and vice
versa.

Kari


  #4  
Old September 22nd 04, 10:03 PM
Jill
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Default


"firedancer623" wrote
When I was about 4, we were at a family picnic and one of my relatives
slapped me across the face. She said I was being annoying or bothersome as

a
4 yr old can be. I actually remember it because I thought she was the
greatest and I was probably invading her personal time or something. My
parents went through the roof and to this day remember how heartbroken I
was. I just don't think it's right of others to correct your child, and

vice
versa.

Kari


Ohh, that is so wrong! How terrible! Slapping on the face is NEVER ok. I
hope the person who slapped you ended up feeling like scum.




  #5  
Old September 22nd 04, 08:15 PM
Welches
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Posts: n/a
Default


Jill wrote in message
om...
Just a kid I know, Just curious. How would you guys handle a 2 and a half
year old child (boy) who kicks? Like, he will just walk up and haul off

and
kick someone, and his parents do not say or do anything to him? He kicked
one of his grandparents, who promptly spanked him, and it made the parents
angry at the grandparent.

I don't believe it is ok for someone to spank another person's child if

the
parent does not want them to. I am not a big believer in spanking but I do
think I would spank R. for something major and intentional, and where

safety
is concern such as if she runs to the street when told not to etc. Of
course, I will watch her and not let her run around unsupervised anyway.

But
when she is older I won't be able to watch her 24/7.

But I am telling you, if this kid had kicked *me* (it's a relative), I

think
I would have spanked him too. He is out of control.

Opinions? Discipline that would work when "time out" is a joke? "Time out"
does not work for every kid although I know a 3 year old boy who finds

time
out to be the WORST punishment ever, and will do anything to avoid it.

lol.
Any nice kids (other than Rachel) in your family? ;-P
If it was regularly happening, for a start off I'd make sure their shoes
were off as much as possible. At least there would be less damage.
But as far as discipline, I'd go for time out, probably holding them on my
lap at that age. Particularly holding the foot that kicked (say it's a
naughty foot). Another thing would be going straight home if it happened
when out.
I don't think anyone should hit someone elses child ever (whether or not
spanking's approved of) certainly if the parents are there they should be
doing the discipline in general.
Debbie


  #6  
Old September 22nd 04, 10:00 PM
Jill
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Posts: n/a
Default

"Welches" wrote I don't think anyone
should hit someone elses child ever (whether or not
spanking's approved of) certainly if the parents are there they should be
doing the discipline in general.
Debbie


I do agree with this. Although I said I'd probably spank him if he kicked
me, lol, I really wouldn't. I know that I would be angry too if someone
other than me or my husband spanked my child (but they wouldn't have to, if
she did something that bad, I'd deal with her). Actually, I think this kid
is just going through the terrible 2's, because I have never seen him cry
and throw temper tantrums etc, he is always a smiley child. So I was
surprised when he just ran up and kicked someone- but I don't think that is
such an abnormal thing to do at that age. It seems to me he is just starting
to test the limits...

I have NO idea how I am going to handle a toddler until I have one though!
But it did just occur to me that people either seem to spank, do time out,
or do nothing. At least that I have seen. Oh, yes, and I have seen bribery
used, with a toy or a food, to get a kid to stop doing something- that seems
to work but it backfires later when they say "No, not unless you give me
___." etc. Kids are smart!


  #7  
Old September 23rd 04, 10:19 AM
Welches
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Default


Jill wrote in message
. com...
"Welches" wrote I don't think anyone
should hit someone elses child ever (whether or not
spanking's approved of) certainly if the parents are there they should

be
doing the discipline in general.
Debbie


I do agree with this. Although I said I'd probably spank him if he kicked
me, lol, I really wouldn't. I know that I would be angry too if someone
other than me or my husband spanked my child (but they wouldn't have to,

if
she did something that bad, I'd deal with her). Actually, I think this kid
is just going through the terrible 2's, because I have never seen him cry
and throw temper tantrums etc, he is always a smiley child. So I was
surprised when he just ran up and kicked someone- but I don't think that

is
such an abnormal thing to do at that age. It seems to me he is just

starting
to test the limits...

I have NO idea how I am going to handle a toddler until I have one though!
But it did just occur to me that people either seem to spank, do time out,
or do nothing. At least that I have seen. Oh, yes, and I have seen bribery
used, with a toy or a food, to get a kid to stop doing something- that

seems
to work but it backfires later when they say "No, not unless you give me
___." etc. Kids are smart!

When they reach about 3 you can use "we're not going to go to the playground
now" (having said you're going earlier). At 4 #1 reacts well to "if you do
that you won't get pudding".
At 2 I found the best way was to hold her on my lap (and do something else
like reading so I wasn't giving her attention) I'd usually either give her a
length of time (not more than 1 minute) or until she was calm.
Really, if the parents refuse to discipline I don't think (as another
relative) you can do much except express displeasure to the parents. If you
discipline then the parents may well comfort/give attention to him and then
he's got the attention he's probably wanting.
Debbie


  #8  
Old September 23rd 04, 04:32 PM
Jill
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Posts: n/a
Default

"Welches" wrote
Really, if the parents refuse to discipline I don't think (as another
relative) you can do much except express displeasure to the parents. If

you
discipline then the parents may well comfort/give attention to him and

then
he's got the attention he's probably wanting.
Debbie


I agree w/ this- I mean, I definitely would not want someone else spanking
my child, I'd be upset. I also know I wouldn't want someone else popping off
on her either, it would hurt her feelings. I guess I am looking for more
tactful ways of handling things but with toddlers it's hard to know what is
running through their minds and what they will respond to!


  #9  
Old September 22nd 04, 10:14 PM
Nikki
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Default

Jill wrote:
Just a kid I know, Just curious. How would you guys handle a 2 and a
half year old child (boy) who kicks?


Try to intercept them before it happens.
Try to avoid situations that might lead to kicking (over tired, hungry,
overstimulated, over powered).
Remove them for a short time if they do kick.
Hold their foot/leg if I intercept and explain that kicking hurts, keep
their feet quiet etc.
Help them express themselves more appropriately. Sometimes I'd pretend not
to see it if it wasn't a major incident ;-)

He kicked one of his grandparents, who promptly spanked him,


I'm a lot more appalled at the spanking them I am at the kicking.

I am not a big believer in
spanking but I do think I would spank R. for something major and
intentional, and where safety is concern.....snip..........
But I am telling you, if this kid had kicked *me* (it's a relative),
I think I would have spanked him too. He is out of control.


A 2.5 kicking isn't major, isn't a safety issue, and it doesn't mean he is
out of control. Toddlers push, kick, spit, hit, bite, slap, scratch etc.
Some are more impulsive and physical and do it more but it doesn't mean that
they, or their parents, are bad. They simply have to learn more
appropriate behaviors.

--
Nikki


  #10  
Old September 22nd 04, 10:15 PM
Jenrose
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Posts: n/a
Default


"Jill" wrote in message
om...
Just a kid I know, Just curious. How would you guys handle a 2 and a half
year old child (boy) who kicks? Like, he will just walk up and haul off
and
kick someone, and his parents do not say or do anything to him? He kicked
one of his grandparents, who promptly spanked him, and it made the parents
angry at the grandparent.

I don't believe it is ok for someone to spank another person's child if
the
parent does not want them to. I am not a big believer in spanking but I do
think I would spank R. for something major and intentional, and where
safety
is concern such as if she runs to the street when told not to etc. Of
course, I will watch her and not let her run around unsupervised anyway.
But
when she is older I won't be able to watch her 24/7.

But I am telling you, if this kid had kicked *me* (it's a relative), I
think
I would have spanked him too. He is out of control.


My daughter went through a major kicking phase... luckily eyeroll she only
really kicked me... the grocery store was the worst--I usually just turned
the cart around and pushed it backwards.

What finally ended it was not spanking (which we tried) or time out for her
(which we tried) or restraining her (which we tried), but the fact that
every time she kicked me, I removed myself from her presence. To the point
of locking myself in a bathroom or bedroom.

When she finally "got" that kicking made mommy leave and that if she didn't
kick mommy, she could be with mommy, it all came together.

Jenrose


 




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