Father's importance no laughing matter

Father's importance no laughing matter

http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/b...22242,CST-FTR-
berman11.article
http://tinyurl.com/yrp9wc

Dad may not always know best, but he knows far more than contemporary
TV sitcoms suggest

June 11, 2007
BY LAURA BERMAN

Black-and-white sitcoms such as "Leave It to Beaver," "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet" and "Father Knows Best" constructed Dad as the
center of the American family. The fathers in these shows did it all
-- they were the breadwinners, the coaches, the teachers, the advice-
givers and the loving guides who saved their children from danger.

But if you turn on your television today, fathers on recent sitcoms
like "Everybody Loves Raymond," "Still Standing" and "According to
Jim" portray men as the lowest form of family member. They are
childish, needy, whiny and altogether hopeless. Laughs are generally
at their expense, and sitcom wives must stoically indulge their
husbands' stupidity. Whether you are a fan of these shows or not, you
have to wonder: Are fathers really so useless to the modern nuclear
family?

Definitely not. As much as we love to laugh at the hijinks of these
dim-witted sitcom daddies, the importance of fathers in the lives of
their children is no laughing matter. Studies have shown that children
who have actively involved fathers do much better academically.
Children with actively involved fathers are also much less likely to
abuse drugs or alcohol, live in poverty or develop psychological
issues. These studies prove that having a good father is not a luxury
-- it is a necessity.

However, many fathers struggle to contribute meaningfully to their
children's lives. In many cases, it isn't because they don't want to,
but because their wives won't let them! Of course, in the case of
abusive or troubled fathers, it is no wonder that mothers try to
protect their children from such nightmare parents. But often,
wonderful fathers are kept from contributing meaningfully to their
children's lives, simply because their spouses don't think they know
what they are doing!

Do any of these comments sound familiar? "He doesn't know how to
change diapers the "right" way, so it is best if I just do it!" Or,
"He takes so long to get the kids in the car seats, it is quicker if I
just take them to school myself!" Or even, "I can't leave him alone
with kids too long. If I do, he will probably end up burning the house
down!"

This type of daddy-bashing is so common in our society that many women
rarely realize they are doing it. And while it may be true that daddy
doesn't always know best -- he should still be allowed to have an
important role in his child's life! Maybe he can't change diapers as
fast as Mommy -- but he may have a better technique for getting the
kids to eat their veggies! And the more time Dad spends with the kids,
the better he gets at parenting!

So the next time you feel the urge to criticize your husband's
parenting, stop yourself. Allow your child's father the honor and the
privilege of being more than just a backseat driver in his baby's
life. You may come home to a slightly disordered house or a baby
covered in chocolate pudding, but just remember, your child will
forever cherish memories of time spent alone with daddy. Let's
celebrate Father's Day this year by giving Dad some personal time with
his child...and some special attention from his wife after the kids
are asleep!

--
Laura Berman, Ph.D., is a couples therapist and director of Chicago's
Berman Center.

I've noticed EXACTLY everything you mentioned. It seems that depicting
the father as the clueless dud started with All In The Family and has
gone downhill from there. With the exception of the Cosby Show, there
have been very few positive television 'fathers' since then. Sad.

On Thu, 28 Jun 2007 14:17:29 -0700, "Fred Goodwin, CMA"
wrote:

Father's importance no laughing matter

http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/b...22242,CST-FTR-
berman11.article
http://tinyurl.com/yrp9wc

Dad may not always know best, but he knows far more than contemporary
TV sitcoms suggest

June 11, 2007
BY LAURA BERMAN

Black-and-white sitcoms such as "Leave It to Beaver," "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet" and "Father Knows Best" constructed Dad as the
center of the American family. The fathers in these shows did it all
-- they were the breadwinners, the coaches, the teachers, the advice-
givers and the loving guides who saved their children from danger.

But if you turn on your television today, fathers on recent sitcoms
like "Everybody Loves Raymond," "Still Standing" and "According to
Jim" portray men as the lowest form of family member. They are
childish, needy, whiny and altogether hopeless. Laughs are generally
at their expense, and sitcom wives must stoically indulge their
husbands' stupidity. Whether you are a fan of these shows or not, you
have to wonder: Are fathers really so useless to the modern nuclear
family?

Definitely not. As much as we love to laugh at the hijinks of these
dim-witted sitcom daddies, the importance of fathers in the lives of
their children is no laughing matter. Studies have shown that children
who have actively involved fathers do much better academically.
Children with actively involved fathers are also much less likely to
abuse drugs or alcohol, live in poverty or develop psychological
issues. These studies prove that having a good father is not a luxury
-- it is a necessity.

However, many fathers struggle to contribute meaningfully to their
children's lives. In many cases, it isn't because they don't want to,
but because their wives won't let them! Of course, in the case of
abusive or troubled fathers, it is no wonder that mothers try to
protect their children from such nightmare parents. But often,
wonderful fathers are kept from contributing meaningfully to their
children's lives, simply because their spouses don't think they know
what they are doing!

Do any of these comments sound familiar? "He doesn't know how to
change diapers the "right" way, so it is best if I just do it!" Or,
"He takes so long to get the kids in the car seats, it is quicker if I
just take them to school myself!" Or even, "I can't leave him alone
with kids too long. If I do, he will probably end up burning the house
down!"

This type of daddy-bashing is so common in our society that many women
rarely realize they are doing it. And while it may be true that daddy
doesn't always know best -- he should still be allowed to have an
important role in his child's life! Maybe he can't change diapers as
fast as Mommy -- but he may have a better technique for getting the
kids to eat their veggies! And the more time Dad spends with the kids,
the better he gets at parenting!

So the next time you feel the urge to criticize your husband's
parenting, stop yourself. Allow your child's father the honor and the
privilege of being more than just a backseat driver in his baby's
life. You may come home to a slightly disordered house or a baby
covered in chocolate pudding, but just remember, your child will
forever cherish memories of time spent alone with daddy. Let's
celebrate Father's Day this year by giving Dad some personal time with
his child...and some special attention from his wife after the kids
are asleep!

On Jul 1, 7:24 am, Justme Athome wrote:
I've noticed EXACTLY everything you mentioned. It seems that depicting the father as the clueless dud started with All In The Family and has gone downhill from there. With the exception of the Cosby Show, there
have been very few positive television 'fathers' since then. Sad.

I think Cosby depicted the most wonderful husband and father anyone
could imagine. He regarded his wife as a complete equal, and he
adored her. She adored him and wanted him to take good care of
himself. The two parents presented a united front, in raising their
children and they tended to see those things the same way. Great
family example.

Justme Athome wrote:
I've noticed EXACTLY everything you mentioned. It seems that depicting
the father as the clueless dud started with All In The Family and has
gone downhill from there.

Archie Bunker was not a clueless twit. He some issues, as well as do,
but he really loved his daughter.

With the exception of the Cosby Show, there
have been very few positive television 'fathers' since then. Sad.

The Simpsons has a great role-model father (Flanders), as does Little
House in the Prairie, The Waltons, Brady Bunch, Good Times, M*A*S*H,
Home Improvement, Numbers, Growing Pains, Wonder Years, Empty Nest, NYPD
Blue, Ray Romano's show, Happy Days, Mork and Mindy, Newhart (OK, Bob
Newhart was not a father to his maid, but he was a father figure), and
Picket Fences.

Jeff



On Thu, 28 Jun 2007 14:17:29 -0700, "Fred Goodwin, CMA"
wrote:

Father's importance no laughing matter

http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/b...22242,CST-FTR-
berman11.article
http://tinyurl.com/yrp9wc

Dad may not always know best, but he knows far more than contemporary
TV sitcoms suggest

June 11, 2007
BY LAURA BERMAN

Black-and-white sitcoms such as "Leave It to Beaver," "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet" and "Father Knows Best" constructed Dad as the
center of the American family. The fathers in these shows did it all
-- they were the breadwinners, the coaches, the teachers, the advice-
givers and the loving guides who saved their children from danger.

But if you turn on your television today, fathers on recent sitcoms
like "Everybody Loves Raymond," "Still Standing" and "According to
Jim" portray men as the lowest form of family member. They are
childish, needy, whiny and altogether hopeless. Laughs are generally
at their expense, and sitcom wives must stoically indulge their
husbands' stupidity. Whether you are a fan of these shows or not, you
have to wonder: Are fathers really so useless to the modern nuclear
family?

Definitely not. As much as we love to laugh at the hijinks of these
dim-witted sitcom daddies, the importance of fathers in the lives of
their children is no laughing matter. Studies have shown that children
who have actively involved fathers do much better academically.
Children with actively involved fathers are also much less likely to
abuse drugs or alcohol, live in poverty or develop psychological
issues. These studies prove that having a good father is not a luxury
-- it is a necessity.

However, many fathers struggle to contribute meaningfully to their
children's lives. In many cases, it isn't because they don't want to,
but because their wives won't let them! Of course, in the case of
abusive or troubled fathers, it is no wonder that mothers try to
protect their children from such nightmare parents. But often,
wonderful fathers are kept from contributing meaningfully to their
children's lives, simply because their spouses don't think they know
what they are doing!

Do any of these comments sound familiar? "He doesn't know how to
change diapers the "right" way, so it is best if I just do it!" Or,
"He takes so long to get the kids in the car seats, it is quicker if I
just take them to school myself!" Or even, "I can't leave him alone
with kids too long. If I do, he will probably end up burning the house
down!"

This type of daddy-bashing is so common in our society that many women
rarely realize they are doing it. And while it may be true that daddy
doesn't always know best -- he should still be allowed to have an
important role in his child's life! Maybe he can't change diapers as
fast as Mommy -- but he may have a better technique for getting the
kids to eat their veggies! And the more time Dad spends with the kids,
the better he gets at parenting!

So the next time you feel the urge to criticize your husband's
parenting, stop yourself. Allow your child's father the honor and the
privilege of being more than just a backseat driver in his baby's
life. You may come home to a slightly disordered house or a baby
covered in chocolate pudding, but just remember, your child will
forever cherish memories of time spent alone with daddy. Let's
celebrate Father's Day this year by giving Dad some personal time with
his child...and some special attention from his wife after the kids
are asleep!

Jeff wrote:
Justme Athome wrote:
I've noticed EXACTLY everything you mentioned. It seems that depicting
the father as the clueless dud started with All In The Family and has
gone downhill from there.

Archie Bunker was not a clueless twit. He some issues, as well as do,
but he really loved his daughter.

With the exception of the Cosby Show, there
have been very few positive television 'fathers' since then. Sad.

The Simpsons has a great role-model father (Flanders), as does Little
House in the Prairie, The Waltons, Brady Bunch, Good Times, M*A*S*H,
Home Improvement, Numbers, Growing Pains, Wonder Years, Empty Nest, NYPD
Blue, Ray Romano's show, Happy Days, Mork and Mindy, Newhart (OK, Bob
Newhart was not a father to his maid, but he was a father figure), and
Picket Fences.

Jeff

I forgot to mention that the most important factor in a boy's life that
determines how well he succeeds is whether or not there is a positive
male figure in his life, such as a father, teacher, coach or mentor.

Jeff

On Thu, 28 Jun 2007 14:17:29 -0700, "Fred Goodwin, CMA"
wrote:

Father's importance no laughing matter

http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/b...22242,CST-FTR-
berman11.article
http://tinyurl.com/yrp9wc

Dad may not always know best, but he knows far more than contemporary
TV sitcoms suggest

June 11, 2007
BY LAURA BERMAN

Black-and-white sitcoms such as "Leave It to Beaver," "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet" and "Father Knows Best" constructed Dad as the
center of the American family. The fathers in these shows did it all
-- they were the breadwinners, the coaches, the teachers, the advice-
givers and the loving guides who saved their children from danger.

But if you turn on your television today, fathers on recent sitcoms
like "Everybody Loves Raymond," "Still Standing" and "According to
Jim" portray men as the lowest form of family member. They are
childish, needy, whiny and altogether hopeless. Laughs are generally
at their expense, and sitcom wives must stoically indulge their
husbands' stupidity. Whether you are a fan of these shows or not, you
have to wonder: Are fathers really so useless to the modern nuclear
family?

Definitely not. As much as we love to laugh at the hijinks of these
dim-witted sitcom daddies, the importance of fathers in the lives of
their children is no laughing matter. Studies have shown that children
who have actively involved fathers do much better academically.
Children with actively involved fathers are also much less likely to
abuse drugs or alcohol, live in poverty or develop psychological
issues. These studies prove that having a good father is not a luxury
-- it is a necessity.

However, many fathers struggle to contribute meaningfully to their
children's lives. In many cases, it isn't because they don't want to,
but because their wives won't let them! Of course, in the case of
abusive or troubled fathers, it is no wonder that mothers try to
protect their children from such nightmare parents. But often,
wonderful fathers are kept from contributing meaningfully to their
children's lives, simply because their spouses don't think they know
what they are doing!

Do any of these comments sound familiar? "He doesn't know how to
change diapers the "right" way, so it is best if I just do it!" Or,
"He takes so long to get the kids in the car seats, it is quicker if I
just take them to school myself!" Or even, "I can't leave him alone
with kids too long. If I do, he will probably end up burning the house
down!"

This type of daddy-bashing is so common in our society that many women
rarely realize they are doing it. And while it may be true that daddy
doesn't always know best -- he should still be allowed to have an
important role in his child's life! Maybe he can't change diapers as
fast as Mommy -- but he may have a better technique for getting the
kids to eat their veggies! And the more time Dad spends with the kids,
the better he gets at parenting!

So the next time you feel the urge to criticize your husband's
parenting, stop yourself. Allow your child's father the honor and the
privilege of being more than just a backseat driver in his baby's
life. You may come home to a slightly disordered house or a baby
covered in chocolate pudding, but just remember, your child will
forever cherish memories of time spent alone with daddy. Let's
celebrate Father's Day this year by giving Dad some personal time with
his child...and some special attention from his wife after the kids
are asleep!

Jeff wrote:
Justme Athome wrote:
I've noticed EXACTLY everything you mentioned. It seems that
depicting the father as the clueless dud started with All In The
Family and has gone downhill from there.

Archie Bunker was not a clueless twit. He some issues, as well as do,
but he really loved his daughter.

With the exception of the Cosby Show, there
have been very few positive television 'fathers' since then. Sad.

The Simpsons has a great role-model father (Flanders), as does Little
House in the Prairie, The Waltons, Brady Bunch, Good Times, M*A*S*H,
Home Improvement, Numbers, Growing Pains, Wonder Years, Empty Nest,
NYPD Blue, Ray Romano's show, Happy Days, Mork and Mindy, Newhart
(OK, Bob Newhart was not a father to his maid, but he was a father
figure), and Picket Fences.

Jeff


Sweet! A brilliant rebuttal using facts -- well done! I am so tired of
people who make these angry, yet completely tired claims and then fail to
back them up. I wonder what the OP will say about the shows we are
mentioning? They show what he says just isn't true. Eh, he'll probably
ignore it. Anyway I would like to add Freaks and Geeks, My So-Called Life
(granted, he had some career issues, but was a truly loving dad),
Smallville, Heroes (Noah Bennet would do anything to protect his little
girl), Roc, Ugly Betty (what a great, caring, loving dad!), and Medium.
Anyone else care to add to this list?


snip

--
nimue

"Let your freak-flag fly, and if someone doesn't get you, move on."
Drew Barrymore

Jeff wrote:

Justme Athome wrote:
I've noticed EXACTLY everything you mentioned. It seems that depicting
the father as the clueless dud started with All In The Family and has
gone downhill from there.

Archie Bunker was not a clueless twit. He some issues, as well as do,
but he really loved his daughter.
----------------------
Bunker loved his stupidity more than any other single thing.
He was portrayed by an arch Left-Liberal who grabbed at the chance
to show people what ignorant assholes idiotic right-wingers were.


With the exception of the Cosby Show, there
have been very few positive television 'fathers' since then. Sad.

The Simpsons has a great role-model father (Flanders),
-------------------
Flanders is a cartoon moron, and the joke of the show.


as does Little House in the Prairie,
-------------------
In real life Landon was a drunk.


The Waltons,
--------------------
Variation on Beverly Hillbillies. People saw it as trite and stupid.


Brady Bunch,
---------------
Stupid and useless. Meaningless trash.


Good Times,
-------------
Useless.


M*A*S*H,
-------------
Who's the "Dad", Hawkeye? Great show, but it was chiefly aimed at
demolishing right-wing conventional morality.


Home Improvement,
----------------
Comedy act. Dad was a nit-wit.


Numbers, Growing Pains, Wonder Years, Empty Nest, NYPD
Blue, Ray Romano's show, Happy Days, Mork and Mindy, Newhart (OK, Bob
Newhart was not a father to his maid, but he was a father figure), and
Picket Fences.

Jeff
-------------------------------
All those you mentioned were laughable clowns or moronic Xtian bigots.
Steve

Jeff wrote:

I forgot to mention that the most important factor in a boy's life that
determines how well he succeeds is whether or not there is a positive
male figure in his life, such as a father, teacher, coach or mentor.
Jeff
----------------------
Another moronic American misintepretation of statistics. Not having a
second parent of any kind in the home means that the child won't get
as much attention, and that they will be poor and their one parent
too stressed to be much good for anything. It actually has ZIP to
do with "fathers" or fatherhood per se.
Steve

R. Steve Walz wrote:
Jeff wrote:

Justme Athome wrote:
I've noticed EXACTLY everything you mentioned. It seems that
depicting the father as the clueless dud started with All In The
Family and has gone downhill from there.

Archie Bunker was not a clueless twit. He some issues, as well as do,
but he really loved his daughter.
----------------------
Bunker loved his stupidity more than any other single thing.
He was portrayed by an arch Left-Liberal who grabbed at the chance
to show people what ignorant assholes idiotic right-wingers were.


With the exception of the Cosby Show, there
have been very few positive television 'fathers' since then. Sad.

The Simpsons has a great role-model father (Flanders),
-------------------
Flanders is a cartoon moron, and the joke of the show.

The joke of the show? More than Barney or Bart or Moe or Ralphie or Officer
Wiggams or -- oh, come on. Nearly everyone on that show is a joke. Anyway,
Flanders is a good guy.


as does Little House in the Prairie,
-------------------
In real life Landon was a drunk.

I have no idea if he was or not. It doesn't matter. We are talking about
television portrayals of fathers, not the lives of the actors who played
them.


The Waltons,
--------------------
Variation on Beverly Hillbillies. People saw it as trite and stupid.

Some did. Some didn't. However, it featured a good father.


Brady Bunch,
---------------
Stupid and useless. Meaningless trash.

We were not talking about the depiction of fathers in PBS adaptations of
novels. We are talking about regular tv.


Good Times,
-------------
Useless.

One of the best comedies on television ever, imo. However, I guess no
matter which of the many shows is picked to refute the OP's ridiculous
claim, you will say it doesn't count. Weak arguing.


M*A*S*H,
-------------
Who's the "Dad", Hawkeye? Great show, but it was chiefly aimed at
demolishing right-wing conventional morality.


Home Improvement,
----------------
Comedy act. Dad was a nit-wit.


Numbers, Growing Pains, Wonder Years, Empty Nest, NYPD
Blue, Ray Romano's show, Happy Days, Mork and Mindy, Newhart (OK, Bob
Newhart was not a father to his maid, but he was a father figure),
and Picket Fences.

Jeff
-------------------------------
All those you mentioned were laughable clowns or moronic Xtian bigots.
Steve

--
nimue

"Let your freak-flag fly, and if someone doesn't get you, move on."
Drew Barrymore

R. Steve Walz wrote:
Jeff wrote:

I forgot to mention that the most important factor in a boy's life
that determines how well he succeeds is whether or not there is a
positive male figure in his life, such as a father, teacher, coach
or mentor. Jeff
----------------------
Another moronic American misintepretation of statistics. Not having a
second parent of any kind in the home means that the child won't get
as much attention,


Why? If it's just mom and kid (or dad and kid), there is no one else
competing for attention.

and that they will be poor

Not necessarily. A friend of mine is about to have a kid and she is single.
She pulls down about $500,000 a year.

and their one parent
too stressed to be much good for anything.

Prove it.

It actually has ZIP to
do with "fathers" or fatherhood per se.
Steve



--
nimue

"Let your freak-flag fly, and if someone doesn't get you, move on."
Drew Barrymore