baby temper tantrums

My daughter is currently 8.5 months and she throws very serious temper
tantrums. I mean she doesn't want her diaper changed, she doesn't want to
take her clothes off, or put her coat on. When ever you try to change
something that she is doing she becomes very stiff and arches her entire
body back, and begins to scream as if she were extremely hurt, but when
you pick her up and stand up she stops automatically. I don't know what
I'm doing wrong!

On Sun, 18 Dec 2005 22:04:04 -0500, "babuska"
wrote:

My daughter is currently 8.5 months and she throws very serious temper
tantrums. I mean she doesn't want her diaper changed, she doesn't want to
take her clothes off, or put her coat on. When ever you try to change
something that she is doing she becomes very stiff and arches her entire
body back, and begins to scream as if she were extremely hurt, but when
you pick her up and stand up she stops automatically. I don't know what
I'm doing wrong!

You are probably not doing anything wrong. She's getting active and
doesn't want to stop playing to be changed.

Some things you can try. First always warn her before you pick her up
to change her or do something like put on clothing. Say *we need to
change your diaper now* in a fun, pleasant tone of voice. You will be
surprised at how much she understands even though she isn't talking
much yet. You can also try singing it to some children's tune, like
Twinkle, twinkle little star. That may divert her attention long
enough to get the deed done.

Also for changing, have a special toy that she gets to play with only
when she is being changed. If you are at home and have a changing
table, try hanging a mirror on the wall near it or even on the ceiling
above the table. Singing can be a key to diverting her while you are
changing her too. You can sing some song she likes or you can sing\
the words to what you are doing.

If she has a strong need to be standing, try changing her diaper while
she is standing up (at least for pee). Make a game of getting
clothing on and off and do it while she is standing instead of trying
to pick her up and put things on her. She will learn to help by
putting her arms out soon. You can say or sing *I need your left
arm. put it into the armhole, etc.*

Good luck. This phase won't last *too* long, hopefully.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

Sounds familiar! LOL

I use the distraction technique with 10 month old DD. I have a pile of
unique object that I keep near the change table, I hand her one when I
change her diaper. It usually distracts her for long enough.
Sometimes I dangle them from my mouth. To change her clothes, I often
do it in the living room with a baby video on the television. She
focuses on the TV, I change her clothes (works well for nail clipping
too). If I'm upstairs and don't want to go through the hassle of
putting the tv on, I change her clothes on the change table. I find
that if I try to change her on the floor, she's too anxious to start
crawling; if she's on the change table, then there's no where to go.

Changing clothes is a major hassle at our house. My mother thinks it's
awful that DD is sometimes still in her PJ's in the afternoon. Well,
sometimes I don't feel up to the wrestling match that is required to
put her clothes on.

Mandy

In article
outparenting.com,
"babuska" wrote:

My daughter is currently 8.5 months and she throws very serious temper
tantrums. I mean she doesn't want her diaper changed, she doesn't want to
take her clothes off, or put her coat on. When ever you try to change
something that she is doing she becomes very stiff and arches her entire
body back, and begins to scream as if she were extremely hurt, but when
you pick her up and stand up she stops automatically. I don't know what
I'm doing wrong!

LOL -- you aren't. It's just that they hate being interrupted, having to be
still, and having clothes put on and taken off. I used to verbalise with DS1:
"Oh, this is terrible! I have to be still! How annoying! My nappy has to
come off!" and so on.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"In Melbourne there is plenty of vigour and eagerness, but there is
nothing worth being eager or vigorous about."
Francis Adams, The Australians, 1893.

In article ,
Chookie wrote:

In article
outparenting.com,
"babuska" wrote:

My daughter is currently 8.5 months and she throws very serious temper
tantrums. I mean she doesn't want her diaper changed, she doesn't want to
take her clothes off, or put her coat on. When ever you try to change
something that she is doing she becomes very stiff and arches her entire
body back, and begins to scream as if she were extremely hurt, but when
you pick her up and stand up she stops automatically. I don't know what
I'm doing wrong!

LOL -- you aren't. It's just that they hate being interrupted, having to be
still, and having clothes put on and taken off. I used to verbalise with
DS1:
"Oh, this is terrible! I have to be still! How annoying! My nappy has to
come off!" and so on.


I changed my kids on the floor at this age: I sat on the floor with the
baby between my legs, and used my legs to pin them down (my leg on their
shoulders) and got them changed as quickly as I could. (I could never
get the hang of changing a diaper while they stood . . .)

My object was NOT to make them happy with the event -- that clearly
seemed beyond reality-- it was just to get it done as quickly as
possible.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

"Chookie" wrote in message
...
In article
outparenting.com,
"babuska" wrote:

My daughter is currently 8.5 months and she throws very serious temper
tantrums. I mean she doesn't want her diaper changed, she doesn't want
to
take her clothes off, or put her coat on. When ever you try to change
something that she is doing she becomes very stiff and arches her entire
body back, and begins to scream as if she were extremely hurt, but when
you pick her up and stand up she stops automatically. I don't know what
I'm doing wrong!

LOL -- you aren't. It's just that they hate being interrupted, having to
be
still, and having clothes put on and taken off. I used to verbalise with
DS1:
"Oh, this is terrible! I have to be still! How annoying! My nappy has
to
come off!" and so on.

One of the signs Alli learned pretty early was "DON'T LIKE"-and it appears a
lot in situations like this, which leads to "Yes, I KNOW you don't like
having your diaper changed!"

I'm still waiting for that "Will assist in dressing" which the baby
milestones book said came by a year. Hasn't happened yet.

Chookie ) writes:
LOL -- you aren't. It's just that they hate being interrupted, having to be
still, and having clothes put on and taken off. I used to verbalise with DS1:
"Oh, this is terrible! I have to be still! How annoying! My nappy has to
come off!" and so on.

Excellent. For one thing, this teaches the child how
to express feelings. More important, it builds a connection
between parent and child -- shows that the parent understands
and is on the child's side. It's also a form of fantasy
and entertainment. Little babies may not mind being
distracted if another entertainment is immediately offered.

"Donna Metler" ) writes:
One of the signs Alli learned pretty early was "DON'T LIKE"-and it appears a
lot in situations like this, which leads to "Yes, I KNOW you don't like
having your diaper changed!"

I think you could make this sound more sympathetic.
One way would be to say it before her: "I know you
don't like having your diaper changed, but it's
time to change it now!" I wonder whether she
dislikes all diaper changes or whether there's something
about it that could be changed, like letting her
stay in the same position or doing it in a steamy
room so she doesn't feel cold or something.
Maybe you could give her a choice: "Would you
like to have your diaper changed on the floor, or
on the change table?" Maybe it's the lack of control
over her situation that she dislikes, and having some
choice would make her feel better about it.

I think it would sound more sympathetic if you
just said "You don't like getting your diaper changed."
rather than focussing on the fact that you already
know that, which sounds like a criticism of her
for expressing her feeling.

"Donna Metler" wrote in
:

I'm still waiting for that "Will assist in dressing" which
the baby milestones book said came by a year. Hasn't
happened yet.

don't hold your breath. mine's 5 & what he does can hardly be
called "assisting"
lee
--
war is peace
freedom is slavery
ignorance is strength
1984-George Orwell