"Time Wasting Rules" - from Real Simple Magazine - NOT GOOD!

In article ,
dragonlady says...

In article ,
Banty wrote:


Yep - that's the extrovert-introvert split. Extroverts all want introverts
like
me to toss aside the books, the hobbies, and the simple solitary pleasures,
defer these things to our dotages, "come out of (our) shells", and spend
whatever moments we can With Other People. Drives Banty batty. :-)


However, I would also be seriously annoyed at having my quilting
described as "not really doing anything"!

Hear hear!

Aren't we supposed to be talking about BF'ing??

Banty


Well, if you insist . . .

I shoulda put a smiley :-)


I wonder if this isn't part of the breastfeeding split?

I think maternal temprament is part of it. I don't think it necessarily splits
along introvert-extrovert lines. I can easily envision a sanguine introvert
loving the quiet time with baby(s). It's probably more on an activity
characteristic. Although not necessarily physical activity. Part of *my*
experience of bf'ing as a long sitting-chore was that I had no hands free to
pursue any mental activity. If I were a B-cup, I might have liked it better.


For me -- someone who needs to be around other people to get rejuvinated
-- breastfeeding was something that made ME feel good. I enjoyed it,
and was sad when my oldest gave it up so early. I never understood why
folks who COULD breastfeed without serious problems would prefer to
bottle feed.

WEll, IMO this isn't a deciding factor - after all, getting through Cub Scout
nights was also sometimes something of a chore! One stretches one's boundaries
of tolerance to parent.


If, on the other hand, for folks like you it feels more like a chore --
bottles WOULD be simpler, since it tends to be faster and since other
people can do it, too. (Regardless of a person's reason, I would be
hard pressed to criticize anyone's choice when it comes to this, or most
other parenting issues!)

I'm about to take the Myers-Briggs for the first time (I've actively
avoided it) and am reasonably certain that I'll turn up an "E"; I
wonder if anyone has ever looked at this particular aspect of
personality type and parenting styles? I wonder if E's, for example,
are more likely to breast feed, or use attachment parenting?


I test INTJ. It absolutely fits.

Banty

In article , Dawn says...



Banty wrote:

In article ,
dragonlady says...



I always figure that, if it isn't exploring rivers and swimming in seas,
there's
LOTS of quiet relaxing stuff *I* like to do in my nice air-conditioned house
:-)

Banty


I like a balance. Last visit to my father, I had to slow him down as to what we
all were to do. And it's *his* health that's failing. (That's unusual,
actually, almost as if he was trying to make up for something.)

It's just that sitting, per se, and yammering, per se, isn't enough for long.

I'm like that too, but I don't feel that I should deprive my child of the
benefits
of breastfeeding just because I can't give a half hour or less several times in
a
day for a while. I'm nursing a 10 mo and after the first short while, it hasn't
slowed me down any more than having a small child slows anyone down (have to
dress,
bathe, change, transport, and cuddle ff babies as well as bf babies)

Oh don't get me wrong - like I said in another post, in parenting one needs to
go out of one's comfort zone when it's important.

It's just that I think some bf'ers, whom the process really suits, don't
understand that it's a bigger sacrifice for other women than it is for them.


I guess I just don't understand this p.o.v. very well and feel sad that any baby
should miss out on breastmilk for perceived convenience sake.


I feel sad when I read statements like this. I feel sad when I think that some
folks can't think of another word than sad ;-)

What is it with the word "sad" in these bf discussions?? Even when talking to
another bfing woman, if something isn't quite in place, it's said to be
saaaaaaaaaadddd.

Banty

"Banty" wrote in message
...
Yep. "Not really doing anything" More often unspoken, though, but you
know
that if one says "I'm going to a ball game with my sister and her kids"
they
would say "OK - have a good time", but if it's "I'm finishing a tailored
coat
for myself" the response is "so can you join us tomorrow?"

I really hate the "so what are you doing xxxxtime" invitations. I say
"what -
why?" Then they usually come out with it, rather than comparing my plans
to
theirs first.



I also like getting to the chase on those types of comments. I really enjoy
sitting in my back yard, watching the grass grow, the clouds float by,
listening to the birds and locusts, and embroidering by the hour. So many
people think that is done because I can think of nothing better to do. I
find it a huge stress reliever and I just enjoy it.

So, world, where would the great artistic creations of the world be if
artistic creation was viewed by even more people to be a time waster?

-Aula, off to mow the lawn so I can watch it grow some more......


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In article , "just says...


"Banty" wrote in message
...
Yep. "Not really doing anything" More often unspoken, though, but you
know
that if one says "I'm going to a ball game with my sister and her kids"
they
would say "OK - have a good time", but if it's "I'm finishing a tailored
coat
for myself" the response is "so can you join us tomorrow?"

I really hate the "so what are you doing xxxxtime" invitations. I say
"what -
why?" Then they usually come out with it, rather than comparing my plans
to
theirs first.



I also like getting to the chase on those types of comments. I really enjoy
sitting in my back yard, watching the grass grow, the clouds float by,
listening to the birds and locusts, and embroidering by the hour. So many
people think that is done because I can think of nothing better to do. I
find it a huge stress reliever and I just enjoy it.

So, world, where would the great artistic creations of the world be if
artistic creation was viewed by even more people to be a time waster?

Some day, some day, I would just LOVE to say something like "oh, foo - you can
party ANYTIME...how about joining me and starting an embroidery project of your
own - I can show you this new stitch I'm using from a book on Turkish embroidery
- 'sira ishi'..."

Cheers,
Banty

"Banty" wrote in message
...
Some day, some day, I would just LOVE to say something like "oh, foo - you
can
party ANYTIME...how about joining me and starting an embroidery project of
your
own - I can show you this new stitch I'm using from a book on Turkish
embroidery
- 'sira ishi'..."



Let's start a revolution! I'd love to learn Turkish embroidery........

On an aside, have you ever visited rec.crafts.textiles.needlework? They do
get a lot of off topic discussion going, but I have found some helpful
information there that I'd never find in most RL settings. If you can wade
through the OT stuff it is interesting.

-Aula


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Dawn Lawson wrote in message
...
[snip]

Your choice of religion is [thankfully] not government-mandated. We chose
formula for all three of my daughter-units based on the information
available to us from sources that we felt offered more balanced opinions
than those being produced by specialty organizations.

Attempting to use the same tired, old, redundant scare tactics that we
tanked my daughter-units potential insert favorite LLL catchphrase or
produced mentally-deficient specimens because we didn't exclusively bf won't
convert us to The Cause any more than it did during that time. We chose
formula for several reasons, mostly because we saw more benefits to using
formula than breastmilk.

The Ranger

Jenn wrote in message
...
I am always surprised at how strongly resilient my daughter-units
are at my attempts to do what I think is best or right. Each test
often shows they will survive into adulthood despite my (and
many other well-meaning adults) book-based, doctor-supported,
new-age intentions. Go figure.

Meaning what, in the context of this discussion?

Just what it says, nothing more. If you're looking for darker meanings,
you'll have to dig up someone else's posts.

The Ranger

"Donna Metler" wrote in message
.. .
My husband claims both of us are hermits, because in general we prefer to
be
at home rather than out. I really dislike crowds (has a lot to do with
being
5'1" and getting lost and run over easily!), and he just doesn't like
being
around people much. So for us, even an evening with friends is more likely
to be spent playing scrabble at someones home than out doing something
noisy. And after spending all day at work with people, going out and
spending more time with people just is not appealing.

We're actually a little bit concerned about that for our children, when we
have them-how do you raise children who have adequate social interaction
when you don't really interact socially much?



Husband and I are both certifiable hermits. DS is a social butterfly.
There have been more than a few occasions where I had to actively talk
myself into picking up the phone to set up play dates for DS because it
meant *I* had to be social, too. I've made some nice friends this way, but
it has been real work for me to do it. I know husband is the same way.

I have come to think that children have their temperaments and DS' is very
social. So, we make our sacrifices to ensure that he has opportunities to
play and interact with kids regularly just like some parents make sacrifices
in the sleep or financial depts., among others. I have no doubt, however,
that DS will grow up quite comfortable with being alone and spending long
periods of time alone doing whatever as well, because he has been exposed to
it as the parental life style of choice. That may be a leg up on some other
kids out there, who knows.

-Aula


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"Clisby Williams" wrote in message
...
I test INTJ. It absolutely fits.

Banty




I test INTJ also.



That's three of us. Scary. I wonder how many other idealistic hermits we
have around here?

-Aula


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In article , "just says...


"Donna Metler" wrote in message
. ..
My husband claims both of us are hermits, because in general we prefer to
be
at home rather than out. I really dislike crowds (has a lot to do with
being
5'1" and getting lost and run over easily!), and he just doesn't like
being
around people much. So for us, even an evening with friends is more likely
to be spent playing scrabble at someones home than out doing something
noisy. And after spending all day at work with people, going out and
spending more time with people just is not appealing.

We're actually a little bit concerned about that for our children, when we
have them-how do you raise children who have adequate social interaction
when you don't really interact socially much?



Husband and I are both certifiable hermits. DS is a social butterfly.
There have been more than a few occasions where I had to actively talk
myself into picking up the phone to set up play dates for DS because it
meant *I* had to be social, too. I've made some nice friends this way, but
it has been real work for me to do it. I know husband is the same way.

I have come to think that children have their temperaments and DS' is very
social. So, we make our sacrifices to ensure that he has opportunities to
play and interact with kids regularly just like some parents make sacrifices
in the sleep or financial depts., among others. I have no doubt, however,
that DS will grow up quite comfortable with being alone and spending long
periods of time alone doing whatever as well, because he has been exposed to
it as the parental life style of choice. That may be a leg up on some other
kids out there, who knows.

I agree completely.

This is a matter of temprament. My son is also very sociable, and in the
neighboorhood and in school he has lots of friends. And with certain
limitations (like they need to let their parents know they're here) they come
over to our house. Your childrens' tempraments *will* out.

If there is one thing that might be important, it would be to make sure to live
in a neighborhood with kids, which of course means tolerating neighbors. But
one basically has one's complete privacy in one's home. But all you need to do
is to afford some opportunity for sociability.

And - gee, being an introvert is *not* a pathology to worry about. We don't see
"I like hanging around with people all the time and I'm worried that my children
will always have to have someone to entertain them and never be comfortable by
themselves" posts. We *do* see a lot of "my four year old is shy gee what
should we do to get her 'out of her shell'" posts.

Banty