Personal ads

marriage strike by *men*? I beg to differ...
"Lost" wrote in message
reenews.net...
"MCP" wrote:

http://eternalbachelor.blogspot.com/

Women are getting desperate and men are running away

Ain't that the truth. The marriage strike by men is biting hard.

I glanced through the personal ads in my local paper for a laugh today,
wondering if
there was anyone I could use an example for this post. The very first ad I
set my
eyes upon was a perfect example! It's of some 33-year-old single-mother.
She's a
secretary, never married, has a 10-year-old boy from a "previous
relationship that's
just ended" and describes herself as "cuddly".

If a woman claims she is "cuddly" in her personal ad, that means she's
plain ol' fat.

Unless she says that she's as thin as a rake, she's fat. If she does
say that she's as thin as a rake, she's probably chubby.

In fact it invariably means she's physically similar to Cthulhu.

In fact, imagine Cthulhu with big flappy tits and a tramp-stamp. We're
getting close
to your average man-hungry Britskank here.

For the benefit of those outside the feminist republic of Britain, a
tramp-stamp is a tattoo on a female.

Men used to jokingly tell their sons never to marry any woman who had
more tattoos than themselves. Now they tell them, very solemnly, never
to marry a female who has or who ever has had a tattoo. You'll never
meet a tattooed virgin.

Anyway, back to our cuddly woman who is Seeking Him. In describing her
ideal Him, she
says:


My ideal match would have the looks of Brad Pitt, the humour of Peter
Kay and the
bank balance of David Beckham (and legs like him too!)

But hey i'm realistic - must have a good sense of humour, easy going,
have decent
music taste, enjoy the company of friends, be loyal, romantic and be able
to handle
the demands of a girl like me - crikey am I still asking for to much!


Erm...so she claims she's realistic but is expecting a handsome, witty and
rich man?
What eligible man of such a description would want to date a fat
thirty-something
single mother? Jeez, **** off.

Note how she demands a man be able to "handle the demands of a girl like
me." The
sub-heading of her ad is "Are you up to the challenge?"

You see this a lot in women's personal ads, describing themselves as "a
challenge"
and demanding a real man who can handle them and their demands. It's like
pre-emptive
shaming language, immediately implying that if you're not interested in
them then
it's because you're frightened, intimidated, not man enough...never
because you're
just not interested in her on account of her being greedy and ugly, or
that she's not
bringing anything in to a relationship except occasional access to a big
slimy hairy
orifice, a long list of whiny demands and perhaps some other guy's
cast-off
illegitimate ******* who needs a daddy.

I might sign up for an online dating site, just to hunt around for the
profiles of
some greedy entitlement whores so that I can mock them here. And before
anyone asks,

I used to do that when I was in the forces. A group of us would answer
all the lonely hearts columns ads and supply details of a composite
bloke we created for the occasion. We came up with some great
specimens, the answers to a chavette's prayer. Rich, good-looking,
lonely and desperate for love.

Sometimes we would arrange a meeting, often getting half a dozen
females to turn up to meet the one invented bloke, and go and laugh at
them as it slowly dawned on them they'd been had. Some of them
travelled long distances to be disappointed.

Yes, of course it's cruel. Bloody funny though. Any female who thinks
she's met Mr Wonderful through a dating agency is in for a surprise if
Mr W is writing from a military or student address.

Some lonely hearts agencies say that as many as a third of the men on
their books are just having a laugh.

--
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?