thanks guys :-)

Hey,

Thanks for the suggestions...I don't want to carry her around for two
reasons #1. I don't have a great back and it would kill me having a sling on
for most of the day and #2. I just don't want her to get used to being held
all the time.
I hate hearing her cry but i may just have to be tough for awhile...

Ebony

Ebony Stares wrote:
Hey,

Thanks for the suggestions...I don't want to carry her around for two
reasons #1. I don't have a great back and it would kill me having a sling on
for most of the day and #2. I just don't want her to get used to being held
all the time.

That last is actually something of a myth, because it works on the
assumption that babies aren't already used to being held all the time.
In fact, they are, even at the time they're born. After all, you've
spent the past nine months 'holding' her all the time and carrying her
everywhere. While much of this will have been before she developed
conscious awareness, she will certainly have been aware during the last
several weeks and possibly last few months of pregnancy (opinions vary
as to just when conscious awareness starts) and so she's born already
very accustomed to being held and carried.

There's also a theory - plausible and quite possibly true - that
evolution has led to babies being born already used to being held all
the time because, for millions of years, this was the way for babies and
so they've evolved to accept it. So, the natural course of events for a
baby is for them to be born used to being held all the time (of course,
some will accept it more readily than others when this turns out not to
be the case), and gradually to develop more and more of a desire to get
away as part of their natural development over the early years. I can
certainly vouch for that with mine.

Of course, if you can't carry her everywhere *now* that's another matter
entirely - in motherhood, you do what you can and don't waste energy
fretting about what you can't, and it won't kill her to be put down some
of the time. (Though you may well find that, if you get a decent
quality wrap, carrying her is much easier on your back than you think it
will be, and actually easier than having to worry over a screaming
baby.) I just wouldn't make that decision based on concerns over what
you think she may or may not 'get used to', because that isn't really an
issue, no matter what the more annoying of the baby books have to say on
the subject.


All the best,

Sarah
--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell

Ebony Stares wrote:
Hey,

Thanks for the suggestions...I don't want to carry her around for two
reasons #1. I don't have a great back and it would kill me having a sling on
for most of the day and #2. I just don't want her to get used to being held
all the time.
I hate hearing her cry but i may just have to be tough for awhile...

It is certainly your choice whether to wear your baby
or not, but there are carriers that are easier on the back.
They may not eliminate strain entirely, but you can improve
things dramatically over carrying the baby. Also, if you have
a high needs baby, carrying her all the time will not spoil
her or cause her not to be able to be put down. If that's her
temperament, then there may not be a lot to be done about it
other than carry her or listen to her scream. "Crying it out"
is only a solution when the child is really developmentally
ready to be apart from you and just doesn't feel like it.
If your child is still *needing* you to be physically close,
then "crying it out" only teaches that you can't expect your
needs to be met or that you have to escalate to a certain point
before your needs get met.
Having a high needs child is physically and emotionally
draining--there's no doubt about that. It's just that if that's
the situation you're dealing with, sometimes you just have to
cope with it, and sometimes you get through it faster by meeting
the need than by denying it.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Sarah Vaughan" wrote in message
...
Ebony Stares wrote:
Hey,

Thanks for the suggestions...I don't want to carry her around for two
reasons #1. I don't have a great back and it would kill me having a sling
on for most of the day and #2. I just don't want her to get used to being
held all the time.

That last is actually something of a myth, because it works on the
assumption that babies aren't already used to being held all the time. In
fact, they are, even at the time they're born. After all, you've spent
the past nine months 'holding' her all the time and carrying her
everywhere. While much of this will have been before she developed
conscious awareness, she will certainly have been aware during the last
several weeks and possibly last few months of pregnancy (opinions vary as
to just when conscious awareness starts) and so she's born already very
accustomed to being held and carried.

There's also a theory - plausible and quite possibly true - that evolution
has led to babies being born already used to being held all the time
because, for millions of years, this was the way for babies and so they've
evolved to accept it. So, the natural course of events for a baby is for
them to be born used to being held all the time (of course, some will
accept it more readily than others when this turns out not to be the
case), and gradually to develop more and more of a desire to get away as
part of their natural development over the early years. I can certainly
vouch for that with mine.

Of course, if you can't carry her everywhere *now* that's another matter
entirely - in motherhood, you do what you can and don't waste energy
fretting about what you can't, and it won't kill her to be put down some
of the time. (Though you may well find that, if you get a decent quality
wrap, carrying her is much easier on your back than you think it will be,
and actually easier than having to worry over a screaming baby.)

I agree with this. I had some random-brand Snugli type carrier that I used
for DS. I thought I loved that one until I tried something else with DD1.
Then I tried again with DD2 and I now swear by my carrier. DD2 is 9 months
old now and about 18.5lbs or so. She's getting heavy, yet I can still
easily cart her around on my back with very little pain. Often I feel
nothing at all. I have even been known to carry DD1 on my back in the mei
tai and DD2 on my front in a simple wrap - both at the same time, mind you.
My mother says I look rediculous with them both on me (one on front, one on
back) yet at times, it's the easiest for ME.
I have a fairly damaged back. I have a bit of lingering damage left from a
fairly bad car accident a year and a half ago and I can't walk, stand or sit
for more than about 45 mins at a time without feeling some pain. I find
with DD2 on my back that it really makes no difference, I actually find that
it might slightly help a little as a carrier almost forces me into a more
proper posture.
Either way, it is totally up to the OP as far as what to do with her DD.
There *are* some good, quality carriers that are fantastic and some that are
definitely the pits. I find that with a proper carrier that works for me
and DD (whatever one) took some time to find by trial and error, but I
eventually did find what works fantastic for all 3 of us!

I just wouldn't make that decision based on concerns over what you think
she may or may not 'get used to', because that isn't really an issue, no
matter what the more annoying of the baby books have to say on the
subject.


All the best,

Sarah
--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell