If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#11
|
|||
|
|||
new childfree newsgroup where parents can post too
"toto" wrote in message ... On Tue, 5 Aug 2003 12:19:52 -0400, "Jayne Kulikauskas" wrote: There are people who want to be members, they haven't managed to get access yet. We have a mailing list where we have been talking about starting up a group like this and I've run that FAQ by them. Have them request the group from their own ISP newsservers and from whatever other servers they use. It generally takes about two weeks or so for a newsserver to add a group, but if a customer requests it most are very good about it. The University of Berlin one that I use did it in just one day. But the other list memebers' servers seem to be taking longer. I suppose they will be another week or so like you say. If you have anyone who is on aol, earthlink or other major servers, explain that it is a low traffic group, but that there are people who wish to post there and revive it and you should be able to get the group going. Then make sure that your team posts to it from the servers they requested it on. Thanks Dorothy. I'll mention this on our mailing list. Jayne |
#12
|
|||
|
|||
new childfree newsgroup where parents can post too
"Wendy Marsden" wrote in message ... In misc.kids Jayne Kulikauskas wrote: I've thought about doing something like that, but I'm not sure what group to cross-post to where it won't annoy the regular participants. Misc.kids has been pretty quiet lately. How do misc.kids people feel about us cross-posting some threads to a.c.b and m.k while we are getting started? They aren't supposed to be flamey but I don't know what will end up happening. I would be completely opposed to it. I'm not even able to grasp what bridges you are intending to build between people who want kids and people who don't. Do you think we live in different countries? We often have very different pespectives. Sometimes it is useful to talk to people who are different from oneself and understand how other people see things. You understand that most child-free people don't have a huge urge to go around spouting hatred about sprogs, etc? The ones who post to ASC-F are just, um, special. I believe the point of the group is to go someplace where they can rant among friends. My impression is that only a minority on ascf spout hatred. I think it is a shame that they all have gotten that reputation. Most child-free people are as reasonable as anybody else. There is a thread going in alt.support.marriage right now where a man married a woman who didn't want kids - and he doesn't want kids - and now she wants them. It isn't about "bridge-building", it's about a very real and specific issue in their marriage. I can't even see how THAT post would work in the group you're proposing. They work it out or they don't. There isn't a compromise position on this one. For me bridge building is about understanding, not about compromising. Most of the advice given to that couple was that they needed to talk to each other and not just assume that they knew what the other thought. Letting go of assumptions and talking to people is what building bridges is all about. Jayne |
#13
|
|||
|
|||
new childfree newsgroup where parents can post too
"Jayne Kulikauskas" wrote in message ... "Wendy Marsden" wrote in message We often have very different pespectives. Sometimes it is useful to talk to people who are different from oneself and understand how other people see things. You understand that most child-free people don't have a huge urge to go around spouting hatred about sprogs, etc? The ones who post to ASC-F are just, um, special. I believe the point of the group is to go someplace where they can rant among friends. My neighbors (a married couple) are a police officer and a fireman. They have chosen not to have children. But they don't hate them. They certainly don't call them 'crotchfruit' or 'sprogs' or anything else that entirely ignores the point that children are little people. Difficult sometimes, yes. Challenging. Not for everybody. But people with dignity all the same. Nor do they call me a breeder, or anything else offensive. They're nice neighbors who have made different life choices, which I respect perfectly well. I understand why someone, having chosen not to have children, might become frustrated with family and friends encouraging them to do so regardless. But I don't understand the nastiness. I honestly don't know what this 'new childfree' group can hope to accomplish. It *will* be invaded by the nasties, the namecalling *will* commence, the crossposting *will* follow, and for the love of god and peace on earth, please don't go there. If this 'bridgebuilding' newsgroup died before, there's a reason. --angela |
#14
|
|||
|
|||
new childfree newsgroup where parents can post too
In misc.kids Jayne Kulikauskas wrote:
We often have very different pespectives. Sometimes it is useful to talk to people who are different from oneself and understand how other people see things. Okay, that's a nice thing. But this really only comes in handy when trying to solve a problem, right? There isn't a problem to solve here. They don't want kids, we do. No problem. For me bridge building is about understanding, not about compromising. Most of the advice given to that couple was that they needed to talk to each other and not just assume that they knew what the other thought. Letting go of assumptions and talking to people is what building bridges is all about. But these people were trying to solve a very real problem: to have children in this marriage or not. Your quest to "understand them" is tinged with some undercurrents like, "I'm trying hard to make it okay with me" or "if only I could figure them out I'd know how to fix them." I am perfectly aware that this might not be your intention, but the quest to study someone who is different than you DOES have some agenda beyond just glorying in the diversity of this world, don't you think? They are different. That's fine. I don't need to bridge that difference. I'm pretty sure the people who DO ned to bridge that difference will be like the married couple above: spcific people with a specific issue. All the rest of the posters will just be defending their point of view in one huge flamewar. Count me out. By the way, my sister is adamantly child-free. So is one of my best friends. We have never yet had to bridge the gulf between us on this issue. They both are active in hobbies we are not engaged in. We don't have to bridge that gulf, either. Can you tell me an example of when you DO have to bridge the gulf between child-free and parents? Wendy |
#15
|
|||
|
|||
new childfree newsgroup where parents can post too
"Wendy Marsden" wrote in message ... [] Can you tell me an example of when you DO have to bridge the gulf between child-free and parents? There doesn't have to be a practical application for it. I like understanding people who are different from me simply for the sake of understanding them. I suppose it is connected to what I believe about the importance of caring about people. Trying to understand people helps me to care about them and treat them better. Jayne |
#16
|
|||
|
|||
new childfree newsgroup where parents can post too
"Jayne Kulikauskas" wrote: I would be completely opposed to it. I'm not even able to grasp what bridges you are intending to build between people who want kids and people who don't. Do you think we live in different countries? We often have very different pespectives. Sometimes it is useful to talk to people who are different from oneself and understand how other people see things. Talk about what? What exactly is the content of the newsgroup that you are talking about? Perhaps I just don't understand why those who are "childfree" have common issues or have any need to get together at all (except perhaps for support among adults who want kids, but are unable), much less wanting to "build bridges" with those who have kids. So, what are some samples of thread topics that would reasonably overlap? Hypothetically, of course. You understand that most child-free people don't have a huge urge to go around spouting hatred about sprogs, etc? The ones who post to ASC-F are just, um, special. I believe the point of the group is to go someplace where they can rant among friends. My impression is that only a minority on ascf spout hatred. I think it is a shame that they all have gotten that reputation. Most child-free people are as reasonable as anybody else. True. But those who have posted on this newsgroup are about as disgusting as they come. That has been my impression, anyway. P. Tierney |
#17
|
|||
|
|||
new childfree newsgroup where parents can post too
"P. Tierney" wrote in message news:LNVXa.49979$Oz4.13871@rwcrnsc54... [] So, what are some samples of thread topics that would reasonably overlap? Hypothetically, of course. This is what it says in the alt.childfree.bridgebuilding FAQ: Q. What are some examples of possible topics of discussion? A. These include: Information about CF events, articles and websites. How the CF movement is related to population and environmental issues. Societal support (or not) for child-rearing such as tax deductions for children, maternity leave, subsidized day-care, family-friendly workplace policies. Appropriate standards of public behaviour for children Descriptions of personal experiences or news stories involving behaviour of children/parents or of the childfree that are likely to generate differing opinions among parents and childfree because of their differing perspectives. Comparing the CF movement to other social movements. [] True. But those who have posted on this newsgroup are about as disgusting as they come. That has been my impression, anyway. I have seen some pretty awful stuff done by the extreme CF minority. One of my first reactions was to prove to myself that they were a minority and that there are lots of pleasant CF people out there. I had to hunt around on mailing lists and websites and found them. I'm hoping that a newsgroup like a.c.b will make them easier to find. Jayne |
#18
|
|||
|
|||
new childfree newsgroup where parents can post too
"Jayne Kulikauskas" wrote in message
... "P. Tierney" wrote in message news:LNVXa.49979$Oz4.13871@rwcrnsc54... [] So, what are some samples of thread topics that would reasonably overlap? Hypothetically, of course. This is what it says in the alt.childfree.bridgebuilding FAQ: Q. What are some examples of possible topics of discussion? A. These include: Information about CF events, articles and websites. How the CF movement is related to population and environmental issues. Societal support (or not) for child-rearing such as tax deductions for children, maternity leave, subsidized day-care, family-friendly workplace policies. Appropriate standards of public behaviour for children Descriptions of personal experiences or news stories involving behaviour of children/parents or of the childfree that are likely to generate differing opinions among parents and childfree because of their differing perspectives. Comparing the CF movement to other social movements. I didn't know that being CF was a "movement", as opposed to unrelated individuals making unrelated choices, much like those who choose to have kids. Live and learn. True. But those who have posted on this newsgroup are about as disgusting as they come. That has been my impression, anyway. I have seen some pretty awful stuff done by the extreme CF minority. One of my first reactions was to prove to myself that they were a minority and that there are lots of pleasant CF people out there. I'm sure that is the case, but crossposting would inflame the worst of them, I would think. And the minority could easily drawf the posts of the majority. This is the Internet, after all. Imagine a newsgroup of religious teetotlers crossposting their messages with a newsgroup focused on beer drinking. Nothing but trouble. But maybe kind of funny. ;-) Could they, in theory, find issues to discuss, and do so reasonably? Yes, in theory. But not in reality, imo. I had to hunt around on mailing lists and websites and found them. I'm hoping that a newsgroup like a.c.b will make them easier to find. Sounds good. Good luck to ya. P. Tierney |
#19
|
|||
|
|||
new childfree newsgroup where parents can post too
"Jayne Kulikauskas" wrote in message ...
"toto" wrote in message ... [] The group is carried on altopia and if you get real traffic, other pay newsservers will carry it. Thanks for that info. I'm trying to keep track of which servers are carrying it. I can add altopia to the list. I see that you posted an FAQ there. Frankly, I suggest that you try to find the original charter and that you don't post an FAQ until you have some people who want to be regular members. There are people who want to be members, they haven't managed to get access yet. We have a mailing list where we have been talking about starting up a group like this and I've run that FAQ by them. I wish I could find the original charter, but a google search didn't help and I can't think of any other way to look. Do you have any ideas, Dorothy? Unfortunately, as it is, we just have to guess from its name. You can't have a creation team for a group that already exists, btw. That's silly, the group is already created. This creation team has been around for a few months talking about creating a new group. When we discovered there was an inactive group with a name that fit our purpose we decided to revive it instead. I've just gotten into the habit of referring to us as a creation team. Strictly speaking, I suppose you are right. Now we are a revival team, but that just sounds weird. g Although google is not carrying the group, you can xpost into other groups and the posts *will* be on google, so if you keep the xposting on topic to the groups you use, eventually you may gain some people who will request the group on their ISPs. I've thought about doing something like that, but I'm not sure what group to cross-post to where it won't annoy the regular participants. Misc.kids has been pretty quiet lately. How do misc.kids people feel about us cross-posting some threads to a.c.b and m.k while we are getting started? X-posting to soc.misc might be better received. That ng doesn't get a lot of traffic. -L. |
#20
|
|||
|
|||
new childfree newsgroup where parents can post too
"Silvasurfa" wrote in message m... "Jayne Kulikauskas" wrote in message ... Some of you may remember a while ago there was some discussion of having a group in which parents and childfree could talk to each other. Parents are not welcome at alt.support.childfree so there is no opportunity for constructive (or civil) dialogue there. It turns out there is a dead group called alt.childfree.bridgebuilding. Because it has been inactive for a while most servers don't carry it. If you want to subscribe to this group you can ask your server to carry it or you can register with http://News.Individual.NET a free server that has it already. This is the German server that a lot of the alt.mothers people use. Those of you who were around during the revival of misc.kids are familiar with what is needed. You respond to appropriate posts and ignore the others. My thanks to everyone who is willing to help. Jayne Ah. Oooookaaaay. If I recall, at the time you last floated this idea of a NG for CF and parents to get together and talk, my take on the matter was that I don't particularly wish to spend my precious free time explaining parenting to those who will never do it themselves, or indeed, getting parenting advice from those who know jack **** about the activity, but I would mildly appreciate a forum to sound off in when the target of the hostility that sometimes accompanies my once every 28 days hormonal disturbance just happens to be an ascfer. Imagine the opening fight sequence from Gangs of New York. Yeah, like that. Should I come over sometime when I feel the mood and raise hell, or would you prefer that I didn't? Do tell. In addition, for those of us who want children and don't have them, this seems even more ludicrous. Having previously had a CF and happy about it person tell me you don't need children to be fulfilled and happy, and I've just been brainwashed by the whole "mother persona" in the media doesn't help much. At least people who have children understand why I want them! |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
KIDS EARNING MONEY | Dargentala | General | 0 | August 1st 03 02:43 PM |
Money money money... | russell barr | General | 0 | August 1st 03 01:23 PM |
New Website for NC Single Parents | Montie Roland | General | 1 | July 22nd 03 09:01 PM |
'Horrible' Home | Kane | General | 1 | July 16th 03 02:29 AM |
Tenn. Parents Sue School Over Cameras | Poop Dogg | General | 12 | July 4th 03 06:56 AM |