anxiety

My 7 month old daughter cries hysterically whenever my mother-in-law
and father-in-law are around. I suggested letting them have her one
day a week for 2 hours. She still cries hysterically when I take her
over there and she is crying when I pick her up. I am thinking this
may have been the wrong move. It is really hard for me to leave her
when she is crying when I don't have to. Should I try something else?
I don't want to hurt their feelings but is this what is best for my
daughter?

Stacey wrote:

My 7 month old daughter cries hysterically whenever my mother-in-law
and father-in-law are around. I suggested letting them have her one
day a week for 2 hours. She still cries hysterically when I take her
over there and she is crying when I pick her up. I am thinking this
may have been the wrong move. It is really hard for me to leave her
when she is crying when I don't have to. Should I try something else?
I don't want to hurt their feelings but is this what is best for my
daughter?


Is this just basic separation anxiety, or is something
else going on? Was she fine with them before? Has she had
much contact with them before?
If this is separation anxiety, she'll likely grow out
of it in a little while and flogging it right now probably
generates a lot of stress for little benefit. It may also
be that if they're only seeing her once a week, that's not
often enough to really build a pattern until she's older.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Stacey" wrote:

My 7 month old daughter cries hysterically whenever my mother-in-law
and father-in-law are around. I suggested letting them have her one
day a week for 2 hours. She still cries hysterically when I take her
over there and she is crying when I pick her up. I am thinking this
may have been the wrong move. It is really hard for me to leave her
when she is crying when I don't have to. Should I try something else?
I don't want to hurt their feelings but is this what is best for my
daughter?

I don't see the point in forcing the issue. We went through this
with our daughter at around the same time. We stopped leaving
her over there, and instead did some extended visits, making it
clear that mom and/or dad were not leaving. Once she got over
that, she was comfortable enough to play and, a few months later,
could be left there with the in-laws. It took time.

If you can visit without her crying, or if she can at least be
settled down, then I'd suggest the above for awhile. If she can't
even do that, then wait a month or so and try again later. She'll
be a different person then, and whatever is stressing her out, at
some point, won't be present in the future, as long as her
anxiety is respected. Good luck.


P. Tierney

"P. Tierney" wrote in message
news:SWgsb.128848$ao4.403102@attbi_s51...
If you can visit without her crying, or if she can at least be
settled down, then I'd suggest the above for awhile. If she can't
even do that, then wait a month or so and try again later. She'll
be a different person then, and whatever is stressing her out, at
some point, won't be present in the future, as long as her
anxiety is respected. Good luck.

I agree. DS always cried at that age whenever he saw my mom. He is 2 yo
now and doesn't cry at all when he sees her and will go with her alone. If
there is no reason to force it, then don't. They tend to grow out of it
regardless. No need to cause undo stress over it.