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#21
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"nimue" wrote in message ... Stephanie Stowe wrote: "Cathy Kearns" wrote in message om... "toypup" wrote in message om... "Billy bob" billybob@bobshome wrote in message u... Its takes one minute for someone to take your child. (yup less then that even) I think there are a lot of situations reported where the child was unintentionally taken by a car thief. You know, the child was in the back seat and the thief didn't know it. Define "a lot". And what percentage are car jackings (where a parent was in the car or standing by the car) versus parents wandering away. From what I've heard on the news, I'd guess one or two a year in the entire US, and I'd say most of those are car jackings. Note, I'm not saying you should leave children in cars, I'm just tired of folks fear mongering about imagined dangers, instead of the obvious ones, like a child overheating in a parked car. The car theft thing is on my mind as part of why I do not leave the kids in the car, as if I needed too many reasons. For me, it is not so much the likelihood, which is pathetically small. But *what if?* As I said to my DH, who just paled upon thinking about it, the consequences are so horrifyingly small that a vanishingly small chance is just not small enough. THAT is good parenting. In fact, THAT is a good way to think in general. This is why my friend gets into trouble so often. She just doesn't think of the worst possible consequences. If you go by the worst possible consequences, then how can you do *anything*. I wouldn't walk down the sidewalk with my kid that ruled me -- after all, a car *could* veer off the road and take us all out, or an adductor could easily knock me unconscious with a blunt object, taking my kids away. It does happen, you know. She just thinks the world is a much safer place than I do. I know it is a pretty safe place. Things will always happen to people somewhere, here included. But a bit of perspective is always a good idea. P. Tierney |
#22
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"Irene" wrote in message oups.com... P. Tierney wrote: "nimue" wrote in message ... I was recently in Tucson with a friend of mine and we went to check on a rental property she owns. Her 2 year old was in the car seat, napping, and my friend left her there when we went to check the house. The windows were all down (this thanks to me -- my friend thought you could leave the windows up on a 70 degree day in Tucson! This is the kind of thing that worries me about my friend.). We were in the house about 15-20 minutes. She never went to check on the toddler and we could not see the car from the house unless we were in the front room. We went all over the house and the back yard. My husband went to check on the toddler during this time. My friend did not know he did it. I felt VERY uncomfortable about the fact that my friend left her kid in the car unattended and I mentioned it to her. She dismissed my concerns, saying that it was a safe neighborhood and one she was familiar with. She also said that she didn't like to wake up her daughter from her nap because she was so tired. I do not have children. I know that I would NEVER leave my baby (if I had one) alone in a car, but maybe I am just paranoid -- maybe, since I don't have kids, I just don't understand. What should I do? Should I mention it again, more forcefully this time? I don't think it's necessary to be confrontational. If you were in the exact same situation (away from the car from 15 minutes), then I'd just say, "You go ahead and check the property. I prefer to wait outside, as I'm uncomfortable in leaving a child alone in an open car for so long." Cite news stories or something, if needed, to explain your In such a case, you aren't telling what the other parent to do, but you are accomplishing the necessary task (keeping an eye on the child) yourself. So all is well. And the parent doesn't need a lecture anyway, as that's usually a waste of time. Adults, like their kids, learn better by example. As for the other posts, I agree with the one minute standard as making sense. I wouldn't wake a child to run inside the bakery to grab a loaf of bread, or go up to the counter to pay for my gas. In both cases, I can see the car pretty much at all times. Actually, the gas station is one place I never leave kids in the car (thank goodness for pay at the pump!) I've heard too many stories of car-jackings, and gas stations seem to be the most popular locations. And if I do leave kids in the car, I never leave the car running - that really makes me paranoid, both from a car-jacking point, and from a "what if the kid gets out of the carseat" point. I've never heard of carjackings at gas stations, but at places like stoplights. In the latter situation, the keys are in a running car, making it possible. If you go pay for gas, you probably take your keys with you. I do, at least. Anyway, I don't see how paying at the pump would prevent a carjacking. P. Tierney |
#23
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"lenny fackler" wrote in message oups.com... P. Tierney wrote: "nimue" wrote in message ... I was recently in Tucson with a friend of mine and we went to check on a rental property she owns. Her 2 year old was in the car seat, napping, and my friend left her there when we went to check the house. The windows were all down (this thanks to me -- my friend thought you could leave the windows up on a 70 degree day in Tucson! This is the kind of thing that worries me about my friend.). We were in the house about 15-20 minutes. She never went to check on the toddler and we could not see the car from the house unless we were in the front room. We went all over the house and the back yard. My husband went to check on the toddler during this time. My friend did not know he did it. I felt VERY uncomfortable about the fact that my friend left her kid in the car unattended and I mentioned it to her. She dismissed my concerns, saying that it was a safe neighborhood and one she was familiar with. She also said that she didn't like to wake up her daughter from her nap because she was so tired. I do not have children. I know that I would NEVER leave my baby (if I had one) alone in a car, but maybe I am just paranoid -- maybe, since I don't have kids, I just don't understand. What should I do? Should I mention it again, more forcefully this time? I don't think it's necessary to be confrontational. If you were in the exact same situation (away from the car from 15 minutes), then I'd just say, "You go ahead and check the property. I prefer to wait outside, as I'm uncomfortable in leaving a child alone in an open car for so long." Cite news stories or something, if needed, to explain your In such a case, you aren't telling what the other parent to do, but you are accomplishing the necessary task (keeping an eye on the child) yourself. So all is well. And the parent doesn't need a lecture anyway, as that's usually a waste of time. Adults, like their kids, learn better by example. As for the other posts, I agree with the one minute standard as making sense. I wouldn't wake a child to run inside the bakery to grab a loaf of bread, or go up to the counter to pay for my gas. In both cases, I can see the car pretty much at all times. P. Tierney Makes sense, but I'm so paranoid that I've never left them even to pay for gas or whatever. If I lost the kids my wife would kill me. Then how can you take them out of the house at all? Or even in the house? As people are saying, *anything* can happen. But we all, individually, use our reason to determine what is best individual situations instead of creating blanket rules. Put a blanket rule up to scrutiny, and one might find a lot of holes in it. P. Tierney |
#24
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P. Tierney wrote:
"nimue" wrote in message ... Stephanie Stowe wrote: "Cathy Kearns" wrote in message om... "toypup" wrote in message om... "Billy bob" billybob@bobshome wrote in message u... Its takes one minute for someone to take your child. (yup less then that even) I think there are a lot of situations reported where the child was unintentionally taken by a car thief. You know, the child was in the back seat and the thief didn't know it. Define "a lot". And what percentage are car jackings (where a parent was in the car or standing by the car) versus parents wandering away. From what I've heard on the news, I'd guess one or two a year in the entire US, and I'd say most of those are car jackings. Note, I'm not saying you should leave children in cars, I'm just tired of folks fear mongering about imagined dangers, instead of the obvious ones, like a child overheating in a parked car. The car theft thing is on my mind as part of why I do not leave the kids in the car, as if I needed too many reasons. For me, it is not so much the likelihood, which is pathetically small. But *what if?* As I said to my DH, who just paled upon thinking about it, the consequences are so horrifyingly small that a vanishingly small chance is just not small enough. THAT is good parenting. In fact, THAT is a good way to think in general. This is why my friend gets into trouble so often. She just doesn't think of the worst possible consequences. If you go by the worst possible consequences, then how can you do *anything*. I wouldn't walk down the sidewalk with my kid that ruled me -- after all, a car *could* veer off the road and take us all out, or an adductor could easily knock me unconscious with a blunt object, taking my kids away. It does happen, you know. She just thinks the world is a much safer place than I do. I know it is a pretty safe place. Things will always happen to people somewhere, here included. But a bit of perspective is always a good idea. P. Tierney So you would leave your 2 year old alone in the car, out of your sight, for 15-20 minutes? -- nimue "If I had created reality television I would have had a much greater influence, but then I would have had to KILL MYSELF." Joss Whedon "There are two types of women -- those who like chocolate and complete bitches." Dawn French |
#25
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"nimue" wrote in message ... P. Tierney wrote: "nimue" wrote in message ... Stephanie Stowe wrote: "Cathy Kearns" wrote in message om... "toypup" wrote in message om... "Billy bob" billybob@bobshome wrote in message u... Its takes one minute for someone to take your child. (yup less then that even) I think there are a lot of situations reported where the child was unintentionally taken by a car thief. You know, the child was in the back seat and the thief didn't know it. Define "a lot". And what percentage are car jackings (where a parent was in the car or standing by the car) versus parents wandering away. From what I've heard on the news, I'd guess one or two a year in the entire US, and I'd say most of those are car jackings. Note, I'm not saying you should leave children in cars, I'm just tired of folks fear mongering about imagined dangers, instead of the obvious ones, like a child overheating in a parked car. The car theft thing is on my mind as part of why I do not leave the kids in the car, as if I needed too many reasons. For me, it is not so much the likelihood, which is pathetically small. But *what if?* As I said to my DH, who just paled upon thinking about it, the consequences are so horrifyingly small that a vanishingly small chance is just not small enough. THAT is good parenting. In fact, THAT is a good way to think in general. This is why my friend gets into trouble so often. She just doesn't think of the worst possible consequences. If you go by the worst possible consequences, then how can you do *anything*. I wouldn't walk down the sidewalk with my kid that ruled me -- after all, a car *could* veer off the road and take us all out, or an adductor could easily knock me unconscious with a blunt object, taking my kids away. It does happen, you know. She just thinks the world is a much safer place than I do. I know it is a pretty safe place. Things will always happen to people somewhere, here included. But a bit of perspective is always a good idea. P. Tierney So you would leave your 2 year old alone in the car, out of your sight, for 15-20 minutes? My first post in this thread on the subject indicated that I would not, of course. I've not seen a single parent (or otherwise) on this newsgroup supporting such an idea. The "one minute" notion is the one that this portion of the thread is addressing. Or so it seems to me. P. Tierney |
#26
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#27
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snip
P. Tierney So you would leave your 2 year old alone in the car, out of your sight, for 15-20 minutes? My first post in this thread on the subject indicated that I would not, of course. I've not seen a single parent (or otherwise) on this newsgroup supporting such an idea. Okay. I just wanted to make that clear. I just spoke to my friend and she EXPLODED all over me and didn't want to hear it. It was very unpleasant. I was surprised she called me today -- I wasn't expecting to hear from her until tomorrow at the earliest. Anyway, she sees NOTHING wrong with what she did and she got VERY angry. FURIOUS. I tried very hard to be mild and caring, but no matter what I said, she just reacted and got angrier and angrier. It was very unpleasant and I am feeling kind of down about it now. The "one minute" notion is the one that this portion of the thread is addressing. Or so it seems to me. P. Tierney -- nimue "If I had created reality television I would have had a much greater influence, but then I would have had to KILL MYSELF." Joss Whedon "There are two types of women -- those who like chocolate and complete bitches." Dawn French |
#29
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On Tue, 01 Mar 2005 00:48:10 GMT, "nimue"
scribbled: Okay. I just wanted to make that clear. I just spoke to my friend and she EXPLODED all over me and didn't want to hear it. It was very unpleasant. I was surprised she called me today -- I wasn't expecting to hear from her until tomorrow at the earliest. Anyway, she sees NOTHING wrong with what she did and she got VERY angry. FURIOUS. I tried very hard to be mild and caring, but no matter what I said, she just reacted and got angrier and angrier. It was very unpleasant and I am feeling kind of down about it now. People don't like having their parenting decisions scrutinized. She's defensive because you're passing judgement. Not in a bad way, but you are. She'll get over it. Frankly, I wouldn't worry about someone being upset with me over voicing my concerns about this. Nan |
#30
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On Mon, 28 Feb 2005 23:22:44 GMT, "P. Tierney"
scribbled: Then how can you take them out of the house at all? Or even in the house? As people are saying, *anything* can happen. eyeroll Someone always has to trot out this stupid argument. But we all, individually, use our reason to determine what is best individual situations instead of creating blanket rules. Put a blanket rule up to scrutiny, and one might find a lot of holes in it. Last time I checked, nobody has put a blanket rule out. You choose to leave your kid in your car for a "one minute rule" according to your comfort level. I choose to never leave mine in the car period. Nan |
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