VENT: Wait Time

On Tue, 19 Aug 2003 22:09:40 GMT, "P. Tierney"
wrote:

Relatives, Friends, and anyone else who talks to my child,

It would help my daughter if, when asking a question, you
actually tried to let her think and respond, at her own rate, instead
of continue to talk yourself. Instead of a "Did you go to the
fair today? Did you ride the merry go round? What did you eat?
What animals did you see? Horses? Sheep?" lightning round that
takes about five seconds, let her try to talk, or at least nod. She's
still young, and may not know what to say, but she might. It would
help her development if she had a chance.

As a teacher, I knew the importance of allowing wait time after a
question. It stimulates thought, and giving the child time to answer
avoids making the child feel unintelligent because she/he isn't quick
enough, or submissive, as there any point in contributing if one
knows that the adult will jump in after a second or two.

All of this translates to parenting as well. My child is active, smart,
and enjoys communicating. But at 19.5 months, she doesn't communicate
as we do quite yet, nor should she. She won't reach our levels just
yet, but you can reach hers with a little bit of patience and understanding.
And we'll all be better off for it. Thanks.


P.
Tierney

Very common behavior. When my dd was ~3yo, she had a baby doll.
Grandma asked her the doll's name. DD said "Adnes." (Agnes) Grandma
repeated the question loudly and slowly, like dd was an idiot. Same
answer. Grandma gives the big eye to 7yo cousin who laughs and says,
"She doesn't even know her doll's name." They walked off. DD looked at
me, and I said, "They're idiots. Forget them." Big smile, ego
restored. Grandma does it to everybody.

P. Tierney wrote:
All of this translates to parenting as well. My child is active, smart,
and enjoys communicating. But at 19.5 months, she doesn't communicate
as we do quite yet, nor should she.

This is not a vent, but an excellent piece of advice.
I will keep it in mind. Thanks P!

--
-- I
mommy to DS (13m)
guardian of DH
TTC #2
War doesn't decide who's right - only who's left