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Finally, the question
On the phone to my dad last night talking about egg passing through bm
(ds has an egg allergy). He says: So, when you are you going to stop breastfeeding? The tone of his question was not a positive enquiry. This surprised me as he has shown no interest whatsoever in William's feeding. Quick as a flash I quoted the WHO recommendations, told him it was full of good stuff, that he was an old fogey and I had just educated him. He laughed and conceded defeat. I said that he doesn't actually drink much anymore (5 mins 3 times a day) and that I was happy to do it as long as he was. I don't think he will reach 18 months mind. It was odd because although I go to my family for advice they don't usually question my decisions, so for it to come from my dad especially was strange. Mind you, we don't call him Victorian Dad for nothing. Also, no-one else in my family or anyone we know bf'd for more than a year, so I'm setting a precedent. I can safely say it probably wouldn't have been the case if I had hung out on m.k.b for the last year, as I might have thought it odd to keep going? So cheers one and all! Jeni |
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Finally, the question
I was really struggling to work out what you meant by the title, but now I
get it, LOL! wrote in message So, when you are you going to stop breastfeeding? The tone of his question was not a positive enquiry. This surprised me as he has shown no interest whatsoever in William's feeding. Quick as a flash I quoted the WHO recommendations, told him it was full of good stuff, that he was an old fogey and I had just educated him. He laughed and conceded defeat. I'm glad he concedes defeat, but it can be very easy to be over defensive, I try and remember that relatives usually have out best interests ar heart and probably don't know any current guidelines, so I try not to be "quick as a flash" and just casually mention them. It doesn't work with my mum though, she is utterly convince that for every guideline you should actually take a random number somwhere between 2/3 and 3/4 of the guideline number and that is what they really meant! I said that he doesn't actually drink much anymore (5 mins 3 times a day) and that I was happy to do it as long as he was. I don't think he will reach 18 months mind. you'd be surprised, some children stick at 1 feed at a special time of day for a year of more. Also, the weather is changing, he may move to feeding more, Ada has, I presume because if she is really thirsty she can quench her first quicker with breastmilk than with a sippy cup of water. It was odd because although I go to my family for advice they don't usually question my decisions, so for it to come from my dad especially was strange. Mind you, we don't call him Victorian Dad for nothing. Also, no-one else in my family or anyone we know bf'd for more than a year, so I'm setting a precedent. I can safely say it probably wouldn't have been the case if I had hung out on m.k.b for the last year, as I might have thought it odd to keep going? So cheers one and all! Glad to know we all helped! Do give your dad the benefit of the doubt, you were on the phone and it was in the context of an allergy preventing you from eating eggs. Someone has got to be first, alot of our generation were formula fed as babies, so there is a lot of relearning to do. My mum went through it with her mum and mil as they both fed quite short lengths of time, she felt pretty good having done 11 and 9 months (at a time when there was no support), so it's bound to be wierd for her to see me getting help and support and working through anything problematic. Cheers Anne Cheers Anne |
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Finally, the question
Anne Rogers wrote: I was really struggling to work out what you meant by the title, but now I get it, LOL! I guess I could have meant it as in 'popping the question' but I think I'll be waiting to see pigs fly before that happens wrote in message So, when you are you going to stop breastfeeding? The tone of his question was not a positive enquiry. This surprised me as he has shown no interest whatsoever in William's feeding. Quick as a flash I quoted the WHO recommendations, told him it was full of good stuff, that he was an old fogey and I had just educated him. He laughed and conceded defeat. I'm glad he concedes defeat, but it can be very easy to be over defensive, I try and remember that relatives usually have out best interests ar heart and probably don't know any current guidelines, so I try not to be "quick as a flash" and just casually mention them. It doesn't work with my mum though, she is utterly convince that for every guideline you should actually take a random number somwhere between 2/3 and 3/4 of the guideline number and that is what they really meant! . With anyone else I agree and I will keep that in mind if anyone else asks. Me and my dad have this relationship where we don't talk about much but when we do we are frank with each other but it's always lighthearted. He is very stubborn like me so I think there is probably a small bit of delight in me when I can successfully challenge him. It sounds weird now I am saying it but this kind of communication works for us.There's no shouting or browbeating and we never fall out, more like a friendly debating club for two I said that he doesn't actually drink much anymore (5 mins 3 times a day) and that I was happy to do it as long as he was. I don't think he will reach 18 months mind. you'd be surprised, some children stick at 1 feed at a special time of day for a year of more. It will be interesting to see what happens. Also, the weather is changing, he may move to feeding more, Ada has, I presume because if she is really thirsty she can quench her first quicker with breastmilk than with a sippy cup of water. There's only been one day he's had an extra feed, yesterday he was as normal even though he was hot. They did note that he had a lot of water at nursery yesterday so perhaps that's why. It was odd because although I go to my family for advice they don't usually question my decisions, so for it to come from my dad especially was strange. Mind you, we don't call him Victorian Dad for nothing. Also, no-one else in my family or anyone we know bf'd for more than a year, so I'm setting a precedent. I can safely say it probably wouldn't have been the case if I had hung out on m.k.b for the last year, as I might have thought it odd to keep going? So cheers one and all! Glad to know we all helped! Do give your dad the benefit of the doubt, you were on the phone and it was in the context of an allergy preventing you from eating eggs. I also think I reacted quickly because it was so out of the blue and it was framed more as a criticism than question. He sounded as if he had been wanting to ask me before. He had forgotten that my sister had bf'd both hers for a year so I guess he must have thought I was quite odd Someone has got to be first, alot of our generation were formula fed as babies, so there is a lot of relearning to do. My mum went through it with her mum and mil as they both fed quite short lengths of time, she felt pretty good having done 11 and 9 months (at a time when there was no support), so it's bound to be wierd for her to see me getting help and support and working through anything problematic. Thank goodness for 2 parents. You have reminded me that my mum has been very supportive and thinks I've done really well to get this far, especially as she witnessed first hand the problems I had early on. But then that's always been the roles my parents have taken. My mum says well done for passing my exams, my dad wanted to know why I didn't do better at Maths! My very own carrot and stick - both in a loving way mind. Jeni |
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