A Parenting & kids forum. ParentingBanter.com

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » ParentingBanter.com forum » alt.support » Single Parents
Site Map Home Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

Home



 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old May 4th 04, 02:14 AM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Home

I never thought I would be so happy to be home. We made it through the wake
and funeral. As soon as we walked into the funeral home, Sage was greeted
with love and tears. She was able to grieve and cry and get hugs and cry.
Then this morning, it was all over again. I will never understand all the
ceremonial stuff that Catholics do. No offense intended. It was to much
though. I was so appreciative of all the love that is given to S and me. Her
especially. I couldn't tell the family enough how much thanks they deserve
for loving her and excepting her. She was able to speak with D, who is her
father's girlfriend and current carrier of the soon to be
half-brother/sister. Me and her also had the chance to talk about her
continue contact with S that I said is great and some other personal things.
Sage was great though. I think she handled herself very well. I had to back
off at times, many times actually, and let them be there for her. I felt
sort of like I didn't belong at times but just chocked it down and sat and
waited for her to need me. I never sat doing nothing for so long in my life.

I think S has gotten a positive view on her father and why he wasn't around
much from his girlfriend. I don't agree with most of what she told S, I
still believe if he wanted to be a Daddy he would have. Excuses are crap and
he has tons of them. In my head I was screaming..... HE WASN'T A GOOD
FATHER.... HE WAS NOOOO FATHER but what good would it do, except for me to
vent. While at the wake, as I was sitting, I was thinking..... Why am I not
crying like everyone else? I must be heartless. I can't get over the wrongs.
I want to punch him in the head and ask him how the hell he can do this to S
and now I really do have to be a single mom. After all the crap, he is going
to cut out in death. F------ loser. This morning though, it got the best of
me and I cried with S and his mother. I adore his mother, I think of her as
my second mom and she thinks of me as a daughter. Her grief saddened me, S's
grief saddened me.... I don't think I was crying for her father though.

I guess my feelings might change, probably not though. I will vent where
appropriate and keep the positive attitude with my daughter.

Thanks again everyone. I will continue to re-read posts that will help later
in dealing with S as she grieves. Don't sweat the arguing..... those who
know me know if I had the energy, I would be arguing too.

Hugs to all!

Tiffany


  #2  
Old May 4th 04, 04:26 AM
Paul Fritz
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Home


"Tiffany" wrote in message
...
I never thought I would be so happy to be home. We made it through the

wake
and funeral. As soon as we walked into the funeral home, Sage was

greeted
with love and tears. She was able to grieve and cry and get hugs and

cry.
Then this morning, it was all over again. I will never understand all

the
ceremonial stuff that Catholics do. No offense intended. It was to much
though. I was so appreciative of all the love that is given to S and me.

Her
especially. I couldn't tell the family enough how much thanks they

deserve
for loving her and excepting her. She was able to speak with D, who is

her
father's girlfriend and current carrier of the soon to be
half-brother/sister. Me and her also had the chance to talk about her
continue contact with S that I said is great and some other personal

things.
Sage was great though. I think she handled herself very well. I had to

back
off at times, many times actually, and let them be there for her. I felt
sort of like I didn't belong at times but just chocked it down and sat

and
waited for her to need me. I never sat doing nothing for so long in my

life.

I think S has gotten a positive view on her father and why he wasn't

around
much from his girlfriend. I don't agree with most of what she told S, I
still believe if he wanted to be a Daddy he would have. Excuses are crap

and
he has tons of them. In my head I was screaming..... HE WASN'T A GOOD
FATHER.... HE WAS NOOOO FATHER but what good would it do, except for me

to
vent. While at the wake, as I was sitting, I was thinking..... Why am I

not
crying like everyone else? I must be heartless. I can't get over the

wrongs.
I want to punch him in the head and ask him how the hell he can do this

to S
and now I really do have to be a single mom. After all the crap, he is

going
to cut out in death. F------ loser. This morning though, it got the best

of
me and I cried with S and his mother. I adore his mother, I think of her

as
my second mom and she thinks of me as a daughter. Her grief saddened me,

S's
grief saddened me.... I don't think I was crying for her father though.

I guess my feelings might change, probably not though. I will vent where
appropriate and keep the positive attitude with my daughter.

Thanks again everyone. I will continue to re-read posts that will help

later
in dealing with S as she grieves. Don't sweat the arguing..... those who
know me know if I had the energy, I would be arguing too.


Good to see that both you and her are reacting normally. :-)


Hugs to all!

Tiffany





  #3  
Old May 4th 04, 04:28 AM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Home


"Paul Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...
I never thought I would be so happy to be home. We made it through the

wake
and funeral. As soon as we walked into the funeral home, Sage was

greeted
with love and tears. She was able to grieve and cry and get hugs and

cry.
Then this morning, it was all over again. I will never understand all

the
ceremonial stuff that Catholics do. No offense intended. It was to

much
though. I was so appreciative of all the love that is given to S and

me.
Her
especially. I couldn't tell the family enough how much thanks they

deserve
for loving her and excepting her. She was able to speak with D, who is

her
father's girlfriend and current carrier of the soon to be
half-brother/sister. Me and her also had the chance to talk about her
continue contact with S that I said is great and some other personal

things.
Sage was great though. I think she handled herself very well. I had to

back
off at times, many times actually, and let them be there for her. I

felt
sort of like I didn't belong at times but just chocked it down and sat

and
waited for her to need me. I never sat doing nothing for so long in my

life.

I think S has gotten a positive view on her father and why he wasn't

around
much from his girlfriend. I don't agree with most of what she told S,

I
still believe if he wanted to be a Daddy he would have. Excuses are

crap
and
he has tons of them. In my head I was screaming..... HE WASN'T A GOOD
FATHER.... HE WAS NOOOO FATHER but what good would it do, except for

me
to
vent. While at the wake, as I was sitting, I was thinking..... Why am

I
not
crying like everyone else? I must be heartless. I can't get over the

wrongs.
I want to punch him in the head and ask him how the hell he can do

this
to S
and now I really do have to be a single mom. After all the crap, he is

going
to cut out in death. F------ loser. This morning though, it got the

best
of
me and I cried with S and his mother. I adore his mother, I think of

her
as
my second mom and she thinks of me as a daughter. Her grief saddened

me,
S's
grief saddened me.... I don't think I was crying for her father

though.

I guess my feelings might change, probably not though. I will vent

where
appropriate and keep the positive attitude with my daughter.

Thanks again everyone. I will continue to re-read posts that will help

later
in dealing with S as she grieves. Don't sweat the arguing..... those

who
know me know if I had the energy, I would be arguing too.


Good to see that both you and her are reacting normally. :-)




Normal? lol That is the first time anyone accused me of acting normal!

Thanks.

T


  #4  
Old May 4th 04, 11:06 AM
Moon Shyne
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Home


'Kate wrote in message ...
On Mon, 3 May 2004 21:14:25 -0400, "Tiffany"


snip


Don't forget to get copies of his death certificate. You'll need it for
social security survivor's benefits for Sage. Call their 800 number for
info or go to the website. I'll try to remember to look that info up
for you tomorrow.


And if Sage is under 16, you're eligible for survivor's benefits as well, until
she IS 16.


  #5  
Old May 4th 04, 12:16 PM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Home


'Kate wrote in message ...
On Mon, 3 May 2004 21:14:25 -0400, "Tiffany"
I never thought I would be so happy to be home. We made it through the

wake
and funeral. As soon as we walked into the funeral home, Sage was greeted
with love and tears. She was able to grieve and cry and get hugs and cry.
Then this morning, it was all over again. I will never understand all the
ceremonial stuff that Catholics do. No offense intended. It was to much
though.


Yeah... that kind of thing really depends on who is performing the
ceremony. My mother's catholic funeral was lovely but 20 some-odd years
ago when my father had his at the same church, it was awful.

I was so appreciative of all the love that is given to S and me. Her
especially. I couldn't tell the family enough how much thanks they

deserve
for loving her and excepting her. She was able to speak with D, who is

her
father's girlfriend and current carrier of the soon to be
half-brother/sister. Me and her also had the chance to talk about her
continue contact with S that I said is great and some other personal

things.

I'm glad you had the chance to open a door with her. I can only imagine
that it was an uncomfortable situation all around for you.


Yeah, it was weird at first but she was also glad that I seemed to be the
only one wondering how they could put him in a suit and why they were doing
all the ceremonial stuff, ect. He was a Deadhead before I met him 14 years
ago...... she wished her input could have been more valid. I agreed that
they were doing things the 'right way' but it was wrong for him.


Sage was great though. I think she handled herself very well. I had to

back
off at times, many times actually, and let them be there for her. I felt
sort of like I didn't belong at times but just chocked it down and sat

and
waited for her to need me. I never sat doing nothing for so long in my

life.

You did good.

I think S has gotten a positive view on her father and why he wasn't

around
much from his girlfriend. I don't agree with most of what she told S, I
still believe if he wanted to be a Daddy he would have. Excuses are crap

and
he has tons of them. In my head I was screaming..... HE WASN'T A GOOD
FATHER.... HE WAS NOOOO FATHER but what good would it do, except for me

to
vent. While at the wake, as I was sitting, I was thinking..... Why am I

not
crying like everyone else? I must be heartless. I can't get over the

wrongs.
I want to punch him in the head and ask him how the hell he can do this

to S
and now I really do have to be a single mom. After all the crap, he is

going
to cut out in death. F------ loser.


We tend to grieve differently depending on the type of relationship that
we had... how we were treated by the person. It gets complicated when
there were bad situations involved. It is a social taboo to speak ill
of the dead... it feels wrong. All the things that happened to you and
Sage because of her father did happen and you have the right to
recognise them as bad things.

Don't forget to get copies of his death certificate. You'll need it for
social security survivor's benefits for Sage. Call their 800 number for
info or go to the website. I'll try to remember to look that info up
for you tomorrow.


That has been brought to my attention and I will look into it. It will get
complicated, for sure. I know he hasn't paid much into it so we will see.
Both his parents are going to make sure I get a copy of the certificate. He
also got approved for disablity (SSD, I suppose) right before he died and
they were to go back a year and he had even said before he died that Sage
was entitled to benefits too so I am going to try to get her portion, for
the back year.


This morning though, it got the best of
me and I cried with S and his mother. I adore his mother, I think of her

as
my second mom and she thinks of me as a daughter. Her grief saddened me,

S's
grief saddened me.... I don't think I was crying for her father though.

I guess my feelings might change, probably not though. I will vent where
appropriate and keep the positive attitude with my daughter.


There's no right way to feel. The relationship that you had with her
father was not the best. Much of that was because of his behaviors.
You may never feel the loss... or you may feel a more practical side of
things. Or, as in my case, I grieved the loss of the potential of a
better future together, the possibility of him handling his bipolar
disorder, and his willingness to be a father to the children again.
That saddened me the most.


That would be hard. I can only imagine but now I have a inkling of what it
was like.


Thanks again everyone. I will continue to re-read posts that will help

later
in dealing with S as she grieves. Don't sweat the arguing..... those who
know me know if I had the energy, I would be arguing too.


LOL.. it's not really arguing. Just a different approach. I tend to
think of this from the viewpoint of being a widow and the shock of
single parenting... forever. It was a tough hurdle. It's passed
though. Now I deal with the occasional tinge of regret and the
children's ongoing need to keep their father in their lives if only in
memory.

'Kate



  #6  
Old May 4th 04, 01:22 PM
Paul Fritz
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Home


"Tiffany" wrote in message
...


Yeah, it was weird at first but she was also glad that I seemed to be

the
only one wondering how they could put him in a suit and why they were

doing
all the ceremonial stuff, ect. He was a Deadhead before I met him 14

years
ago...... she wished her input could have been more valid. I agreed that
they were doing things the 'right way' but it was wrong for him.


Funereals, the ceremonies, the whole funereal parlor business is for the
living, not the deceased. That may explain a lot to her. :-)



Sage was great though. I think she handled herself very well. I had

to
back
off at times, many times actually, and let them be there for her. I

felt
sort of like I didn't belong at times but just chocked it down and

sat
and
waited for her to need me. I never sat doing nothing for so long in

my
life.

You did good.

I think S has gotten a positive view on her father and why he wasn't

around
much from his girlfriend. I don't agree with most of what she told S,

I
still believe if he wanted to be a Daddy he would have. Excuses are

crap
and
he has tons of them. In my head I was screaming..... HE WASN'T A GOOD
FATHER.... HE WAS NOOOO FATHER but what good would it do, except for

me
to
vent. While at the wake, as I was sitting, I was thinking..... Why am

I
not
crying like everyone else? I must be heartless. I can't get over the

wrongs.
I want to punch him in the head and ask him how the hell he can do

this
to S
and now I really do have to be a single mom. After all the crap, he

is
going
to cut out in death. F------ loser.


We tend to grieve differently depending on the type of relationship

that
we had... how we were treated by the person. It gets complicated when
there were bad situations involved. It is a social taboo to speak ill
of the dead... it feels wrong. All the things that happened to you

and
Sage because of her father did happen and you have the right to
recognise them as bad things.

Don't forget to get copies of his death certificate. You'll need it

for
social security survivor's benefits for Sage. Call their 800 number

for
info or go to the website. I'll try to remember to look that info up
for you tomorrow.


That has been brought to my attention and I will look into it. It will

get
complicated, for sure. I know he hasn't paid much into it so we will

see.
Both his parents are going to make sure I get a copy of the certificate.

He
also got approved for disablity (SSD, I suppose) right before he died

and
they were to go back a year and he had even said before he died that

Sage
was entitled to benefits too so I am going to try to get her portion,

for
the back year.


As long as he was paying in, she will be eligible for the base
amount,....not sure if it runs to 18 or 21.......but it will essentially be
the CS you were not getting. If you can live without it, funnel it into
saving for college/future......then it will be a sort of gift from him to
her down the road, when the grieving is done and the bad memories of the
past are fading.

Also with the DC, when you start making the big bucks, and travel out of
the country, you will need it for her to travel with you to many countries.
:-)




  #7  
Old May 4th 04, 05:08 PM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Home


"Tiffany" wrote in message
...
I never thought I would be so happy to be home. We made it through the

wake
and funeral. As soon as we walked into the funeral home, Sage was greeted
with love and tears. She was able to grieve and cry and get hugs and cry.
Then this morning, it was all over again. I will never understand all the
ceremonial stuff that Catholics do. No offense intended. It was to much
though. I was so appreciative of all the love that is given to S and me.

Her
especially. I couldn't tell the family enough how much thanks they deserve
for loving her and excepting her. She was able to speak with D, who is her
father's girlfriend and current carrier of the soon to be
half-brother/sister. Me and her also had the chance to talk about her
continue contact with S that I said is great and some other personal

things.
Sage was great though. I think she handled herself very well. I had to

back
off at times, many times actually, and let them be there for her. I felt
sort of like I didn't belong at times but just chocked it down and sat and
waited for her to need me. I never sat doing nothing for so long in my

life.

I think S has gotten a positive view on her father and why he wasn't

around
much from his girlfriend. I don't agree with most of what she told S, I
still believe if he wanted to be a Daddy he would have. Excuses are crap

and
he has tons of them. In my head I was screaming..... HE WASN'T A GOOD
FATHER.... HE WAS NOOOO FATHER but what good would it do, except for me to
vent. While at the wake, as I was sitting, I was thinking..... Why am I

not
crying like everyone else? I must be heartless. I can't get over the

wrongs.
I want to punch him in the head and ask him how the hell he can do this to

S
and now I really do have to be a single mom. After all the crap, he is

going
to cut out in death. F------ loser. This morning though, it got the best

of
me and I cried with S and his mother. I adore his mother, I think of her

as
my second mom and she thinks of me as a daughter. Her grief saddened me,

S's
grief saddened me.... I don't think I was crying for her father though.

I guess my feelings might change, probably not though. I will vent where
appropriate and keep the positive attitude with my daughter.

Thanks again everyone. I will continue to re-read posts that will help

later
in dealing with S as she grieves. Don't sweat the arguing..... those who
know me know if I had the energy, I would be arguing too.

Hugs to all!

Tiffany


I'm so sorry you've both had to go through this Tiff. I have so many
thoughts and feelings on this issue that I can't even put them into words
really. I look at the situation with my children and it's quite different
from yours, but I'm struck with the thought that it's a bitter end, but at
least there is no more wondering, waiting, and wishing. I wonder at times
if my boys are hurt that they don't know their father, and they'll grow up
with what ifs. This might sound cold, and will probably come out wrong, but
at least with death, there is no more guessing. It's so unfortunate though,
that he wasn't a 'good' father because this doesn't apply to those fathers
that were/are there for their children, but to the ones that should have
been something while they were alive.

Christine


  #8  
Old May 4th 04, 06:02 PM
Lisa
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Home


'Kate wrote in message ...
On Mon, 3 May 2004 21:14:25 -0400, "Tiffany"
I never thought I would be so happy to be home. We made it through the

wake
and funeral. As soon as we walked into the funeral home, Sage was greeted
with love and tears. She was able to grieve and cry and get hugs and cry.
Then this morning, it was all over again. I will never understand all the
ceremonial stuff that Catholics do. No offense intended. It was to much
though.


Yeah... that kind of thing really depends on who is performing the
ceremony. My mother's catholic funeral was lovely but 20 some-odd years
ago when my father had his at the same church, it was awful.

I was so appreciative of all the love that is given to S and me. Her
especially. I couldn't tell the family enough how much thanks they

deserve
for loving her and excepting her. She was able to speak with D, who is

her
father's girlfriend and current carrier of the soon to be
half-brother/sister. Me and her also had the chance to talk about her
continue contact with S that I said is great and some other personal

things.

I'm glad you had the chance to open a door with her. I can only imagine
that it was an uncomfortable situation all around for you.

Sage was great though. I think she handled herself very well. I had to

back
off at times, many times actually, and let them be there for her. I felt
sort of like I didn't belong at times but just chocked it down and sat

and
waited for her to need me. I never sat doing nothing for so long in my

life.

You did good.

I think S has gotten a positive view on her father and why he wasn't

around
much from his girlfriend. I don't agree with most of what she told S, I
still believe if he wanted to be a Daddy he would have. Excuses are crap

and
he has tons of them. In my head I was screaming..... HE WASN'T A GOOD
FATHER.... HE WAS NOOOO FATHER but what good would it do, except for me

to
vent. While at the wake, as I was sitting, I was thinking..... Why am I

not
crying like everyone else? I must be heartless. I can't get over the

wrongs.
I want to punch him in the head and ask him how the hell he can do this

to S
and now I really do have to be a single mom. After all the crap, he is

going
to cut out in death. F------ loser.


We tend to grieve differently depending on the type of relationship that
we had... how we were treated by the person. It gets complicated when
there were bad situations involved. It is a social taboo to speak ill
of the dead... it feels wrong. All the things that happened to you and
Sage because of her father did happen and you have the right to
recognise them as bad things.

Don't forget to get copies of his death certificate. You'll need it for
social security survivor's benefits for Sage. Call their 800 number for
info or go to the website. I'll try to remember to look that info up
for you tomorrow.

This morning though, it got the best of
me and I cried with S and his mother. I adore his mother, I think of her

as
my second mom and she thinks of me as a daughter. Her grief saddened me,

S's
grief saddened me.... I don't think I was crying for her father though.

I guess my feelings might change, probably not though. I will vent where
appropriate and keep the positive attitude with my daughter.


There's no right way to feel. The relationship that you had with her
father was not the best. Much of that was because of his behaviors.
You may never feel the loss... or you may feel a more practical side of
things. Or, as in my case, I grieved the loss of the potential of a
better future together, the possibility of him handling his bipolar
disorder, and his willingness to be a father to the children again.
That saddened me the most.

Thanks again everyone. I will continue to re-read posts that will help

later
in dealing with S as she grieves. Don't sweat the arguing..... those who
know me know if I had the energy, I would be arguing too.


LOL.. it's not really arguing. Just a different approach. I tend to
think of this from the viewpoint of being a widow and the shock of
single parenting... forever. It was a tough hurdle. It's passed
though. Now I deal with the occasional tinge of regret and the
children's ongoing need to keep their father in their lives if only in
memory.

'Kate


Kate, weren't you separated or divorced when Phil died? I can't remember.

Lisa

  #9  
Old May 5th 04, 03:51 AM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Home


"Paul Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...


Yeah, it was weird at first but she was also glad that I seemed to be

the
only one wondering how they could put him in a suit and why they were

doing
all the ceremonial stuff, ect. He was a Deadhead before I met him 14

years
ago...... she wished her input could have been more valid. I agreed

that
they were doing things the 'right way' but it was wrong for him.


Funereals, the ceremonies, the whole funereal parlor business is for the
living, not the deceased. That may explain a lot to her. :-)



Sage was great though. I think she handled herself very well. I had

to
back
off at times, many times actually, and let them be there for her. I

felt
sort of like I didn't belong at times but just chocked it down and

sat
and
waited for her to need me. I never sat doing nothing for so long in

my
life.

You did good.

I think S has gotten a positive view on her father and why he

wasn't
around
much from his girlfriend. I don't agree with most of what she told

S,
I
still believe if he wanted to be a Daddy he would have. Excuses are

crap
and
he has tons of them. In my head I was screaming..... HE WASN'T A

GOOD
FATHER.... HE WAS NOOOO FATHER but what good would it do, except

for
me
to
vent. While at the wake, as I was sitting, I was thinking..... Why

am
I
not
crying like everyone else? I must be heartless. I can't get over

the
wrongs.
I want to punch him in the head and ask him how the hell he can do

this
to S
and now I really do have to be a single mom. After all the crap, he

is
going
to cut out in death. F------ loser.

We tend to grieve differently depending on the type of relationship

that
we had... how we were treated by the person. It gets complicated

when
there were bad situations involved. It is a social taboo to speak

ill
of the dead... it feels wrong. All the things that happened to you

and
Sage because of her father did happen and you have the right to
recognise them as bad things.

Don't forget to get copies of his death certificate. You'll need it

for
social security survivor's benefits for Sage. Call their 800 number

for
info or go to the website. I'll try to remember to look that info

up
for you tomorrow.


That has been brought to my attention and I will look into it. It will

get
complicated, for sure. I know he hasn't paid much into it so we will

see.
Both his parents are going to make sure I get a copy of the

certificate.
He
also got approved for disablity (SSD, I suppose) right before he died

and
they were to go back a year and he had even said before he died that

Sage
was entitled to benefits too so I am going to try to get her portion,

for
the back year.


As long as he was paying in, she will be eligible for the base
amount,....not sure if it runs to 18 or 21.......but it will essentially

be
the CS you were not getting. If you can live without it, funnel it into
saving for college/future......then it will be a sort of gift from him to
her down the road, when the grieving is done and the bad memories of the
past are fading.

Also with the DC, when you start making the big bucks, and travel out

of
the country, you will need it for her to travel with you to many

countries.
:-)





CS? As in child support? Funny one Paul. He hasn't been much for helping
financially. He hasn't sent a dime in 2 years. I have an appointment to talk
to someone at the SS office so I will find out more. I am not holding my
breath for help though as I can guarantee he hasn't paid **** in.

Travel to other countries..... god that sounds great. I think more along the
lines of moving to another country though.

More bad news today..... my Grandfather had a stroke. Doesn't look like a
real bad one though. I will find out more tomorrow.

T


  #10  
Old May 5th 04, 04:00 AM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Home


'Kate wrote in message ...
On Tue, 4 May 2004 07:16:54 -0400, "Tiffany"

'Kate wrote in message

...
On Mon, 3 May 2004 21:14:25 -0400, "Tiffany"


I never thought I would be so happy to be home. We made it through the
wake
and funeral. As soon as we walked into the funeral home, Sage was

greeted
with love and tears. She was able to grieve and cry and get hugs and

cry.
Then this morning, it was all over again. I will never understand all

the
ceremonial stuff that Catholics do. No offense intended. It was to

much
though.

Yeah... that kind of thing really depends on who is performing the
ceremony. My mother's catholic funeral was lovely but 20 some-odd

years
ago when my father had his at the same church, it was awful.

I was so appreciative of all the love that is given to S and me. Her
especially. I couldn't tell the family enough how much thanks they

deserve
for loving her and excepting her. She was able to speak with D, who is

her
father's girlfriend and current carrier of the soon to be
half-brother/sister. Me and her also had the chance to talk about her
continue contact with S that I said is great and some other personal

things.

I'm glad you had the chance to open a door with her. I can only

imagine
that it was an uncomfortable situation all around for you.


lol... yeah a little. She thinks so highly of him, I think she was blinded
by love.


Yeah, it was weird at first but she was also glad that I seemed to be the
only one wondering how they could put him in a suit and why they were

doing
all the ceremonial stuff, ect. He was a Deadhead before I met him 14

years
ago...... she wished her input could have been more valid. I agreed that
they were doing things the 'right way' but it was wrong for him.


I understand that completely. I sent Phil's favorite jeans (501 shrink
to fit button fly) and the t-shirt that he cherished that was from the
kids the father's day before. I'm sure there were some who thought he,
perhaps, didn't own a suit but his job was a suit job. It just wasn't
who he was to us or to himself.

snip stuff

There's no right way to feel. The relationship that you had with her
father was not the best. Much of that was because of his behaviors.
You may never feel the loss... or you may feel a more practical side of
things. Or, as in my case, I grieved the loss of the potential of a
better future together, the possibility of him handling his bipolar
disorder, and his willingness to be a father to the children again.
That saddened me the most.


That sounds like a hard situation. One wonders why things happen but I often
see that 'why'. Look at what you are doing with your life, which could have
resulted from the things you went through. You will continue on, helping
others.

I do know he was in chronic pain, his mother said the doctor said he was
probably going to lose his leg and be in a wheelchair. Now granted his
disability comes about due to a attempt to fly out a 3 story window while
high as a kite. She told me she thinks this is best, his dying in his sleep.
She also took a look at his meds and one of them has a RARE side effect of
sudden death. They did an autopsy and wrote it off as natural causes. No
illegal drugs in his system but he has his own legal drugs to take. I am
going to wait some then eventually get a look at his medical information.
Seems odd that someone goes to the doctor only to die the next day.

I babble and babble. I need sleep.

Tiffany


 




Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
misc.kids FAQ on Breastfeeding Past the First Year [email protected] Info and FAQ's 0 April 17th 04 12:24 PM
misc.kids FAQ on Breastfeeding Past the First Year [email protected] Info and FAQ's 0 February 16th 04 10:58 AM
misc.kids FAQ on Breastfeeding Past the First Year [email protected] Info and FAQ's 0 January 16th 04 10:15 AM
misc.kids FAQ on Breastfeeding Past the First Year [email protected] Info and FAQ's 0 December 15th 03 10:42 AM
[Fwd: [WTMFamilies] We are ALL at risk...TAKE NOTICE] Virginia Child Support 0 July 6th 03 07:51 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 03:50 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 ParentingBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.