Need a couple of ideas and resources

On 19 Sep 2004 17:47:28 GMT, unya (Purchgdss) wrote:

I'm a firm believer in tough love..... it's necessary with some children (my
own included). Doesn't mean they are abandoned and isolated, just means they
assume responsibility for the decisions they make and the parents reject
enabling.

Just my 2 cents.........
Christine

I agree that tough love can be helpful. I also have learned, though,
that with teens who are genuinely unwell, it's a balancing act
deciding when and how to let them assume responsibility and take
consequences, and when and how to buffer a bit. I've found that the
whole process of helping a teen get healthy and take responsibility
for herself is a very gradual process. Early on, it can be necessary
to pretty much protect them from everything, including themselves. As
they gain competence and capacity, they need to experience increasing
degrees of actual consequences and responsibility. It's not really so
different from raising any child in that sense. It's just that the
degrees of protection vs. exposure need to be tailored to the needs of
the teen who's 'atypical'....and the contexts are different.

I think that, really, is a huge point of parenting. If they all had
the same needs at the same time, they wouldn't need parents; just
institutions. And of course, some children's and youth's needs are
*so* far from the norm, generally only parents know them well enough
to adapt. God help the kid whose parents aren't paying attention. It
seems to me that apathy might possibly be among the worst things a
parent can do to a child. Even many significant mistakes made and
survived and moved on from, can be better than apathy. If nothing
else, a child needs to know its parent(s) care.

Anyway, take care.

Cele

"CME" wrote in message news:0yJ2d.20303$yW6.5300@clgrps12...

Joelle can pray for anyone she likes and frankly, I don't see how a prayer
for a small child is something that anyone can do without.

While you're at it Joelle could you say one for me and my children? Having
someone else think about us never hurts.

Facetious prayers aren't sincere. It was tossed in like a rotten egg.

Karen

"Karen O'Mara" wrote in message
om...
"CME" wrote in message
news:0yJ2d.20303$yW6.5300@clgrps12...

Joelle can pray for anyone she likes and frankly, I don't see how a
prayer
for a small child is something that anyone can do without.

While you're at it Joelle could you say one for me and my children?
Having
someone else think about us never hurts.

Facetious prayers aren't sincere. It was tossed in like a rotten egg.

Karen

Well think what you will, but obviously your judgement isn't clouded. ~rolls
eyes~

Christine

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Cele" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 19 Sep 2004 04:18:33 GMT, "CME"
wrote:

Are you on medication because I think you missed a dose.

Oy. Lots of people are on medication. I'm on medication. Tell her to
get stuffed if that's in your heart, but please don't use medication
as an insult, k?

snip
To be honest, I have to agree that it's cruel to use meds as a way to deal a
blow. I'm not exactly the first to admit when I've got a problem, especially
a mental health issue.... but to be honest.... especially with myself....
medications have kept me going in the last couple of months..... Especially
considering how high my anxiety level had gotten after my son ended up in
the hospital. I believe that with the right therapy, the right meds and the
right kind of support, a person can actually feel better and in general do
better. The only reason I agreed to put myself on meds is because I had to
realize that I wasn't able to be an effective parent until I felt better.
Our kids learn from us. they also learn their denial patterns from us. I'm
trying to teach my son that it's ok to accept who you are for you because
it's what makes us one of a kind, flaws and strengths and all.... sometimes
our flaws are our biggest strengths and what we believe our biggest
strengths are really the flaws we don't allow ourselves to see. Ahh well,
I've rambled on enough....

"CME" wrote in message
news:3sh3d.60088$KU5.44143@edtnps89...

"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "CME"
Date: 9/19/2004 12:18 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id: tM73d.25351$yW6.7452@clgrps12

No because I seriously think she's either not on the right meds.
Perhaps
this is her natural personality but I see her as an "over-reactive
drama
queen" with a major case of "I'm a victim" mixed with "the world is
against
me" syndrome (not a professional diagnosis mind you but hits the nail
on
the
head regardless). I've been depressed on and off for a number of
years
and
this woman has issues medication doesn't seem to be helping. Sure my
comments may be harsh lately, but I really have no tolerance lately
for
drama.


Christine, Who knows ? I mean, I don't.
I am under a lot of stress right now, I do not expect everyone to
understand
what this has been like for my family. I do not see our lifes issues
being
any
worse than others, I know everyone has there own crosses to bear. I am
reaching
out , I am obviously going about it the wrong way for some to
understand
me. It
does hurt when I have done the best that I can with all I have been
handed
( by
my own mistakes or not) I accept that , but I can't give in to it. I
learn and
I go on as many of us have. and sometimes it 'IS' O.K. to sing "You
and me
against the world" to your children, if you know what I mean. I hope
that
you
do Bev

Everyone has been under alot of stress at one or more point in their
lives,
what you don't seem to get is how you seem to thrive on the drama. I'm
of
the belief that the world isn't against us, it's our own choices that
determine how that world unwraps. So instead of looking outside
yourself
and playing the victim, which you also seem to revel in, get over
yourself
and move on.

People like her will ALWAYS play the victim.


Christine

"P. Fritz" wrote in message
...

"CME" wrote in message
news:3sh3d.60088$KU5.44143@edtnps89...

"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "CME"
Date: 9/19/2004 12:18 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id: tM73d.25351$yW6.7452@clgrps12

No because I seriously think she's either not on the right meds.
Perhaps
this is her natural personality but I see her as an "over-reactive
drama
queen" with a major case of "I'm a victim" mixed with "the world is
against
me" syndrome (not a professional diagnosis mind you but hits the nail
on
the
head regardless). I've been depressed on and off for a number of
years
and
this woman has issues medication doesn't seem to be helping. Sure my
comments may be harsh lately, but I really have no tolerance lately
for
drama.


Christine, Who knows ? I mean, I don't.
I am under a lot of stress right now, I do not expect everyone to
understand
what this has been like for my family. I do not see our lifes issues
being
any
worse than others, I know everyone has there own crosses to bear. I
am
reaching
out , I am obviously going about it the wrong way for some to
understand
me. It
does hurt when I have done the best that I can with all I have been
handed
( by
my own mistakes or not) I accept that , but I can't give in to it. I
learn and
I go on as many of us have. and sometimes it 'IS' O.K. to sing "You
and me
against the world" to your children, if you know what I mean. I hope
that
you
do Bev

Everyone has been under alot of stress at one or more point in their
lives,
what you don't seem to get is how you seem to thrive on the drama. I'm
of
the belief that the world isn't against us, it's our own choices that
determine how that world unwraps. So instead of looking outside
yourself
and playing the victim, which you also seem to revel in, get over
yourself
and move on.

People like her will ALWAYS play the victim.


Christine

It's just a shame to see someone so unconscious of their own awareness.

Christine

"CME" wrote in message
news:whG3d.29212$t61.22534@clgrps13...

"P. Fritz" wrote in message
...

"CME" wrote in message
news:3sh3d.60088$KU5.44143@edtnps89...

"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "CME"
Date: 9/19/2004 12:18 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id: tM73d.25351$yW6.7452@clgrps12

No because I seriously think she's either not on the right meds.
Perhaps
this is her natural personality but I see her as an "over-reactive
drama
queen" with a major case of "I'm a victim" mixed with "the world is
against
me" syndrome (not a professional diagnosis mind you but hits the
nail
on
the
head regardless). I've been depressed on and off for a number of
years
and
this woman has issues medication doesn't seem to be helping. Sure
my
comments may be harsh lately, but I really have no tolerance lately
for
drama.


Christine, Who knows ? I mean, I don't.
I am under a lot of stress right now, I do not expect everyone to
understand
what this has been like for my family. I do not see our lifes
issues
being
any
worse than others, I know everyone has there own crosses to bear. I
am
reaching
out , I am obviously going about it the wrong way for some to
understand
me. It
does hurt when I have done the best that I can with all I have been
handed
( by
my own mistakes or not) I accept that , but I can't give in to it.
I
learn and
I go on as many of us have. and sometimes it 'IS' O.K. to sing "You
and me
against the world" to your children, if you know what I mean. I
hope
that
you
do Bev

Everyone has been under alot of stress at one or more point in their
lives,
what you don't seem to get is how you seem to thrive on the drama.
I'm
of
the belief that the world isn't against us, it's our own choices that
determine how that world unwraps. So instead of looking outside
yourself
and playing the victim, which you also seem to revel in, get over
yourself
and move on.

People like her will ALWAYS play the victim.


Christine

It's just a shame to see someone so unconscious of their own awareness.

Yes, and unfortunately, they typically perpetuate it through there
children.....and in this case, grand children.


Christine

"Joelle" wrote in message

Hell. I'll pray for everyone here tonight. Even the arrogant hypocrites
that
in the name of charity I shan't name...


You called m'dear?

Dennis ;-)

"slykitten" wrote in message

Right now, we're not too sure what the diagnosis on this kiddo is.... we
had
one therapist do an eval that said he had bipolar NOS and ADHD and we had
other therapists (at the hospital) simply say that he has mood
disorder....
no one can agree on anything.... One therapist said that it sounded like I
needed to get a neurological consult to rule out possible seizure
disorder!

Sort of sums up therapy really.
What age is this child?

Dennis

"Joelle" wrote in message

Hell. I'll pray for everyone here tonight. Even the arrogant
hypocrites
that
in the name of charity I shan't name...


You called m'dear?


Nope. Not you. Actually, knowing how much it would annoy you, I won't
pray
for you :-)

But whilst your down on your knees :-O

Dennis ;-)