No Wrap Shower

We are expecting 100+ guests at our baby shower. Is their a
polite, acceptable way to ask that gifts not be wrapped? We we
thinking a gift table to display the gifts, so people can view as they
please throughout the shower. We would also spend a half hour or so
to officially recognize the gifts.

We just want to avoid a 2 hour gift opening session. It won't be fun
for the guests or us!!

HELP!! wrote:
We are expecting 100+ guests at our baby shower. Is their a
polite, acceptable way to ask that gifts not be wrapped?

No. Who planned this monstrosity of a shower anyway?
At some point, you've made your bed and you lie in it. I just
don't see any way that you can politely say to people, "All
those gifts you spent your hard earned time and money on are
just too much trouble for us to open, so please don't bother
to wrap them." No matter how you phrase it, that's how it's
likely to come across.

We we
thinking a gift table to display the gifts, so people can view as they
please throughout the shower. We would also spend a half hour or so
to officially recognize the gifts.

We just want to avoid a 2 hour gift opening session. It won't be fun
for the guests or us!!

Because a shower is the only type of adult party where
guests are required to bring gifts, it confers special obligations
on the guests of honor and on the people who plan the shower
to avoid looking like a greedy gift-grub. That's why people are
not allowed to throw themselves or close relatives showers, shower
guests are supposed to be very close friends, and the gifts are
supposed to be small, almost token gifts. You've stretched
things by having a shower this big, but you still have to act as
if this the gathering of intimate friends it ought to be.
One possibility for the shower is that you plan a set
of activities for the guests so that they're enjoying themselves,
and you gather small groups of guests together throughout the
party and open their gifts. You will be kept busy with the
gift opening, but at least your guests won't be tied down to
it and you'll be able to provide some of that more personal
attention to each guest and the gift they chose for you.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Thanks for the reply Ericka. I know it sounds funny, but this
monstrosity is intimate. We are both from large families and have 20
aunts & uncles and 60+ first cousins. Include a very trimmed down
list of close friends and you get a 100+ guest shower, all of which
expect to be invited.

On Jun 19, 8:32 am, Ericka Kammerer wrote:
HELP!! wrote:
We are expecting 100+ guests at our baby shower. Is their a
polite, acceptable way to ask that gifts not be wrapped?

No. Who planned this monstrosity of a shower anyway?
At some point, you've made your bed and you lie in it. I just
don't see any way that you can politely say to people, "All
those gifts you spent your hard earned time and money on are
just too much trouble for us to open, so please don't bother
to wrap them." No matter how you phrase it, that's how it's
likely to come across.

We we
thinking a gift table to display the gifts, so people can view as they
please throughout the shower. We would also spend a half hour or so
to officially recognize the gifts.

We just want to avoid a 2 hour gift opening session. It won't be fun
for the guests or us!!

Because a shower is the only type of adult party where
guests are required to bring gifts, it confers special obligations
on the guests of honor and on the people who plan the shower
to avoid looking like a greedy gift-grub. That's why people are
not allowed to throw themselves or close relatives showers, shower
guests are supposed to be very close friends, and the gifts are
supposed to be small, almost token gifts. You've stretched
things by having a shower this big, but you still have to act as
if this the gathering of intimate friends it ought to be.
One possibility for the shower is that you plan a set
of activities for the guests so that they're enjoying themselves,
and you gather small groups of guests together throughout the
party and open their gifts. You will be kept busy with the
gift opening, but at least your guests won't be tied down to
it and you'll be able to provide some of that more personal
attention to each guest and the gift they chose for you.

Best wishes,
Ericka

On Jun 19, 5:48 am, HELP!! wrote:
Thanks for the reply Ericka. I know it sounds funny, but this
monstrosity is intimate. We are both from large families and have 20
aunts & uncles and 60+ first cousins. Include a very trimmed down
list of close friends and you get a 100+ guest shower, all of which
expect to be invited.

It may be too late for this, but with a shower this large, you are
likely to end up with way too much baby stuff. Could it be turned
into a baby advice shower? Each guest writes a baby tip on a 3x5
notecard. Guests who wanted to could also bring gifts.

--Betsy

HELP!! wrote:
Thanks for the reply Ericka. I know it sounds funny, but this
monstrosity is intimate. We are both from large families and have 20
aunts & uncles and 60+ first cousins. Include a very trimmed down
list of close friends and you get a 100+ guest shower, all of which
expect to be invited.

I realise this is of no actual help to you, but... good heavens, how
many close friends do you have? 20 aunts and uncles and 60+ first
cousins still adds up to 20 short of 100+, so, if my arithmetic is
correct, that means your very trimmed-down list of close friends still
includes an average of 10 people each!


All the best,

Sarah
--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell

Instead of a single shower that you invited a 100 people to, you could have
had 3 showers -- one for dh's side of the family, one for your side of the
family, and one for close friends. That way you would have had about 30
people at each shower, which is still a large number but much more
reasonable.

I agree with Ericka. There is no way to dictate that people not wrap their
presents because it would be more convenient for you. It's like asking them
to self address their own Thank You cards. Heck, why not ask them to write
them too.
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

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Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
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"HELP!!" wrote in message
oups.com...
Thanks for the reply Ericka. I know it sounds funny, but this
monstrosity is intimate. We are both from large families and have 20
aunts & uncles and 60+ first cousins. Include a very trimmed down
list of close friends and you get a 100+ guest shower, all of which
expect to be invited.

On Jun 19, 8:32 am, Ericka Kammerer wrote:
HELP!! wrote:
We are expecting 100+ guests at our baby shower. Is their a
polite, acceptable way to ask that gifts not be wrapped?

No. Who planned this monstrosity of a shower anyway?
At some point, you've made your bed and you lie in it. I just
don't see any way that you can politely say to people, "All
those gifts you spent your hard earned time and money on are
just too much trouble for us to open, so please don't bother
to wrap them." No matter how you phrase it, that's how it's
likely to come across.

We we
thinking a gift table to display the gifts, so people can view as they
please throughout the shower. We would also spend a half hour or so
to officially recognize the gifts.

We just want to avoid a 2 hour gift opening session. It won't be fun
for the guests or us!!

Because a shower is the only type of adult party where
guests are required to bring gifts, it confers special obligations
on the guests of honor and on the people who plan the shower
to avoid looking like a greedy gift-grub. That's why people are
not allowed to throw themselves or close relatives showers, shower
guests are supposed to be very close friends, and the gifts are
supposed to be small, almost token gifts. You've stretched
things by having a shower this big, but you still have to act as
if this the gathering of intimate friends it ought to be.
One possibility for the shower is that you plan a set
of activities for the guests so that they're enjoying themselves,
and you gather small groups of guests together throughout the
party and open their gifts. You will be kept busy with the
gift opening, but at least your guests won't be tied down to
it and you'll be able to provide some of that more personal
attention to each guest and the gift they chose for you.

Best wishes,
Ericka

On Jun 19, 7:48 am, HELP!! wrote:
Thanks for the reply Ericka. I know it sounds funny, but this
monstrosity is intimate. We are both from large families and have 20
aunts & uncles and 60+ first cousins. Include a very trimmed down
list of close friends and you get a 100+ guest shower, all of which
expect to be invited.

I hear you loud and clear. We live far away from our families so
didn't have to deal with this, but my family is large, and showers (or
parties of any sort) quickly get out of hand. People who are not from
big families often just don't *get* it (I have 60 first cousins on my
dad's side alone, and as many of them are already grandparents,
multiple layers of other cousins as well).

But no, there is no way to ask for anything in particular about the
gifts. Just open them thoughtfully, but quickly. You won't have 100
gifts, and likely family groups will offer one joint gift, which
should make it shorter. Also, half the party will be uninterested and
doing something else anyway, at least that has been my experience at
large showers (which in my family, are always co-ed).

Just relax and have fun, and be excited that your little one has so
many people excited to meet him/her.

On Jun 22, 10:44 pm, cjra wrote:
On Jun 19, 7:48 am, HELP!! wrote:

Thanks for the reply Ericka. I know it sounds funny, but this
monstrosity is intimate. We are both from large families and have 20
aunts & uncles and 60+ first cousins. Include a very trimmed down
list of close friends and you get a 100+ guest shower, all of which
expect to be invited.

I hear you loud and clear. We live far away from our families so
didn't have to deal with this, but my family is large, and showers (or
parties of any sort) quickly get out of hand. People who are not from
big families often just don't *get* it (I have 60 first cousins on my
dad's side alone, and as many of them are already grandparents,
multiple layers of other cousins as well).

But no, there is no way to ask for anything in particular about the
gifts. Just open them thoughtfully, but quickly. You won't have 100
gifts, and likely family groups will offer one joint gift, which
should make it shorter. Also, half the party will be uninterested and
doing something else anyway, at least that has been my experience at
large showers (which in my family, are always co-ed).

Just relax and have fun, and be excited that your little one has so
many people excited to meet him/her.

thanks cjra. some people just don't understand large families. its
rare when the whole family gets together, i was trying to avoid
wasting precious "catch up" time on a 2 hour gift opening session.

but you're right. i think we'll just open the gifts in a quick,
organized, and thoughtful way.

I hear you loud and clear. We live far away from our families so
didn't have to deal with this, but my family is large, and showers (or
parties of any sort) quickly get out of hand. People who are not from
big families often just don't *get* it (I have 60 first cousins on my
dad's side alone, and as many of them are already grandparents,
multiple layers of other cousins as well).

wow, that is pretty impressive, if I'm understanding who exactly you
mean by first cousins on your fathers side - i.e. your father's
siblings' children, then that's of the order of your father having 8
siblings and each of them having 8 children, I don't find someone having
8 siblings at all surprising, just the fact that then all of them also
had such big families, or if any of them had smaller families, the
others having even bigger ones to make up, which does seem a lot more
unusual. My dad's mum was the youngest of 7, so only 6 siblings, but I
think he has only around 15 first cousins, 2 of the siblings didn't get
married, the others had more middle sized families.

I'm at the opposite extreme, it's not the smallest family in the world,
but before I married, my entire family including me, extending as far as
first cousins was 12 people. My parents and the two of us, my mum's
sister, husband and 2 children, my dad's sister and 3 our of 4
grandparents still living.

In some ways I'm envious of larger families, if it's bigger there seems
to be more chance of being close, or living near family members, but
I've noticed it doesn't always work out like that - as my family is
small, it's not an onerous task to keep in touch with everyone and to
send cards and gifts, net result is that we are close, whereas in a big
family you couldn't do that so easily and end up not close to anyone -
DH's family is more medium sized compared to mine, yet at his birthday,
he get's more cards from my family than his. It can be a cause of
tension, because he's not close to his family, I've spent barely any
time with them, so I've never had the chance to get comfortable with
them, so he then feels I don't want to see them, rather than seeing that
I'm just uncomfortable and find it more stressful than he does to see my
family members.

Cheers
Anne

On Jun 26, 5:45 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:
I hear you loud and clear. We live far away from our families so
didn't have to deal with this, but my family is large, and showers (or
parties of any sort) quickly get out of hand. People who are not from
big families often just don't *get* it (I have 60 first cousins on my
dad's side alone, and as many of them are already grandparents,
multiple layers of other cousins as well).

wow, that is pretty impressive, if I'm understanding who exactly you
mean by first cousins on your fathers side - i.e. your father's
siblings' children, then that's of the order of your father having 8
siblings and each of them having 8 children, I don't find someone having
8 siblings at all surprising, just the fact that then all of them also
had such big families, or if any of them had smaller families, the
others having even bigger ones to make up, which does seem a lot more
unusual. My dad's mum was the youngest of 7, so only 6 siblings, but I
think he has only around 15 first cousins, 2 of the siblings didn't get
married, the others had more middle sized families.

My dad is one of 11 siblings who survived to adulthood and had
children (14 in all, 3 died before 1 yo). One brother had 2 kids, the
rest had between 6-10 children each. I am one of 8. My grandfather was
also one of 10+ (can't remember exactly). Catholic farmers.... I have
lost count of the next generation. My parents already have 25
grandkids.

My mother is only one of 3, and I have 5 first cousins total on her
side. However both her parents were from large families and most are
very close as well as friends who have been part of the family so long
they're relatives, so though there are fewer close blood relatives,
there's a very large extended family and non-cousins who might as well
be.

My siblings and I are scattered, but my dad is the only one of his
siblings ot move away, and most of my cousins stayed close to home, so
there are about 50 cousins who live within 60 miles or so, almost all
of whom have kids and spouses (age range is 35-60).


I'm at the opposite extreme, it's not the smallest family in the world,
but before I married, my entire family including me, extending as far as
first cousins was 12 people. My parents and the two of us, my mum's
sister, husband and 2 children, my dad's sister and 3 our of 4
grandparents still living.

In some ways I'm envious of larger families, if it's bigger there seems
to be more chance of being close, or living near family members, but
I've noticed it doesn't always work out like that - as my family is
small, it's not an onerous task to keep in touch with everyone and to
send cards and gifts, net result is that we are close, whereas in a big
family you couldn't do that so easily and end up not close to anyone -

Though I have 6 living siblings (one died aged 30, w/o kids), the
closest family is 1500+ miles away (CA, I'm in TX, others are in OH,
GA, and Guam). As for my cousins, because we didn't grow up near
them, and I'm on the younger end, I'm close to some, not others. Makes
it hard for parties though. My sisters got married in OH - where my
dad's family is - and had a helluva time keeping the guest list to
manageable size. I got married in TX, where we have no family, but
offered an invite to all relatives if they wanted to come, well, many
did, some I wasn't close to but it was a really nice thing and made me
closer to them now.

My siblings drive me crazy, and am I'm not close to all of them, but I
honestly can say I wouldn't trade them for the world. I am glad
they're there. It has been especially significant in times of crises,
like when my brother died and the few times we've come close to losing
my dad.

Sheer numbers are no guarantee though.