Repost: Vent, advise and understanding requested

It appears my posts were appearing but were dated 5 days ago so I have to
repost a post i made last night.
-------------------------------------------------
Over the last few days I have been having debates in my head over whether or
not to give up bf. Liam is getting about 4-5 5/6ozs bottles of formula a day
and he is also bf in mornings before I leave and in the evening after work a
few times before bed, again around midnight and sometimes during the night
too! Please no flames but we also have him on a couple of teaspoons of
pureed fruit or baby rice a day also.
The reason I am thinking of giving up is because dh is minding him during
the day while I work and he is a barman which means he only gets in from
work in the middle of the night, Liam normally looks for a bottle as soon as
I have left for work at 9am, before i went back to work he normally took a
nap about this time and it would have been great for dh to get a little more
sleep if Liam had stayed in this routine but now he just won't settle for a
nap after I have fed him in the morning. He takes a 7 or 8 oz bottle after
I leave in the morning, if it is ebm though he'll reject it.
I have been pumping at work and some of his bottles during the day are ebm
but because I work in retail and we work on commission I am getting lazy
about making time to take breaks, as I am losing out on sales (how mercenary
of me!).
This business of him waking at midnight and not settling for a nap after
first feed of day has only started up since I went back to work, and I think
it must be because my supply has dropped.
So last night, dh and I had decided it might be best I give up. It may mean
that he will be more settled at night and in the morning. It is not because
I think FF is any easier, I definitely think that if I was a SAHM bf is so
much easier, having ff my first 2 children I know this for a fact, but I do
know that it is more filling and babies can go longer between feeds and
between needing a little more sleep in the morning, school run and spending
the early afternoon getting ready for his next shift, life would be easier
for DH if Liam went longer between feeds.
But then sometimes I think well so what, dh knew what he was taking on, but
I also don't want to see him get very tired and frustrated having to spend
so much time feeding the baby.
But between all the breaks that my hr dept are allowing me to take at work,
organising a fridge for me there, having joined LLL, all the support I have
received here and enjoyment I get in being part of this ng and romantic
visions of bf Liam until he was ready to wean himself I am feeling let down
in myself, but I have to keep telling myself that the reality is I have fed
him for 4 months longer than I thought I would manage, I have 2 other kids
to consider in all this and it is hard to make time for them when I get in
from work cos all I ever seem to do is feed Liam and I am tired and working
hard and not eating well enough so I can't expect my body to produce proper
feeds for him.
Anyway this morning I got up and bf Liam at 7am, then after DD had left for
school and I was dressed and ready for work I gave him a bottle of formula
at 8:30am and a spoonfeed. I then brought him up to his cot, dh was still
asleep, and I tried settling him in for sleep but he wasn't interested
until I picked him up and bf him, that settled him and off he went. Tonight
when I got home from work, having not expressed today, my boobs were feeling
engorged so I bf Liam. I do say I love our little bonding session when I
get home from work, even though my DD and DS1 pull the house apart and have
endless fights until I am ready to give them full attention again.
So now I am thinking that I could give him short feeds, for comfort before
bed, when he wakes and just before I leave for work. But the worry there is
will my supply completely dry up with so few bfs?!
It is a choice I suppose I have to make myself, but it has been good to put
it all in writing here and vent.
Sorry this got so long.
Any suggestions, tips, advise, btdts or people who have managed to not lose
supply with just 2 feeds a day please advise.

--
Marie
Mum of 3
DD born 03/98, DS1 born 11/99 DS2 born 08/03

"Irish Marie" skrev i en meddelelse
...
It appears my posts were appearing but were dated 5 days ago so I have to
repost a post i made last night.
-------------------------------------------------
Over the last few days I have been having debates in my head over whether
or
not to give up bf. Liam is getting about 4-5 5/6ozs bottles of formula a
day
and he is also bf in mornings before I leave and in the evening after work
a
few times before bed, again around midnight and sometimes during the night
too! Please no flames but we also have him on a couple of teaspoons of
pureed fruit or baby rice a day also.
The reason I am thinking of giving up is because dh is minding him during
the day while I work and he is a barman which means he only gets in from
work in the middle of the night, Liam normally looks for a bottle as soon
as
I have left for work at 9am, before i went back to work he normally took a
nap about this time and it would have been great for dh to get a little
more
sleep if Liam had stayed in this routine but now he just won't settle for
a
nap after I have fed him in the morning. He takes a 7 or 8 oz bottle
after
I leave in the morning, if it is ebm though he'll reject it.
I have been pumping at work and some of his bottles during the day are ebm
but because I work in retail and we work on commission I am getting lazy
about making time to take breaks, as I am losing out on sales (how
mercenary
of me!).
This business of him waking at midnight and not settling for a nap after
first feed of day has only started up since I went back to work, and I
think
it must be because my supply has dropped.
So last night, dh and I had decided it might be best I give up. It may
mean
that he will be more settled at night and in the morning. It is not
because
I think FF is any easier, I definitely think that if I was a SAHM bf is so
much easier, having ff my first 2 children I know this for a fact, but I
do
know that it is more filling and babies can go longer between feeds and
between needing a little more sleep in the morning, school run and
spending
the early afternoon getting ready for his next shift, life would be easier
for DH if Liam went longer between feeds.
But then sometimes I think well so what, dh knew what he was taking on,
but
I also don't want to see him get very tired and frustrated having to spend
so much time feeding the baby.
But between all the breaks that my hr dept are allowing me to take at
work,
organising a fridge for me there, having joined LLL, all the support I
have
received here and enjoyment I get in being part of this ng and romantic
visions of bf Liam until he was ready to wean himself I am feeling let
down
in myself, but I have to keep telling myself that the reality is I have
fed
him for 4 months longer than I thought I would manage, I have 2 other kids
to consider in all this and it is hard to make time for them when I get in
from work cos all I ever seem to do is feed Liam and I am tired and
working
hard and not eating well enough so I can't expect my body to produce
proper
feeds for him.
Anyway this morning I got up and bf Liam at 7am, then after DD had left
for
school and I was dressed and ready for work I gave him a bottle of formula
at 8:30am and a spoonfeed. I then brought him up to his cot, dh was still
asleep, and I tried settling him in for sleep but he wasn't interested
until I picked him up and bf him, that settled him and off he went.
Tonight
when I got home from work, having not expressed today, my boobs were
feeling
engorged so I bf Liam. I do say I love our little bonding session when I
get home from work, even though my DD and DS1 pull the house apart and
have
endless fights until I am ready to give them full attention again.
So now I am thinking that I could give him short feeds, for comfort before
bed, when he wakes and just before I leave for work. But the worry there
is
will my supply completely dry up with so few bfs?!
It is a choice I suppose I have to make myself, but it has been good to
put
it all in writing here and vent.
Sorry this got so long.
Any suggestions, tips, advise, btdts or people who have managed to not
lose
supply with just 2 feeds a day please advise.

--
Marie
Mum of 3
DD born 03/98, DS1 born 11/99 DS2 born 08/03


Nursed Niels until age of two on two feeds a day for a long time. No problem
at all. First thing in the morning - first thing home from daycare. We both
enjoyed it. Nice to wake up slowly, cudling (sp?). Nice to sit down when
returning from work.

Tine, Denmark

"Tine Andersen" wrote in message
k...


Nursed Niels until age of two on two feeds a day for a long time. No
problem
at all. First thing in the morning - first thing home from daycare. We
both
enjoyed it. Nice to wake up slowly, cudling (sp?). Nice to sit down when
returning from work.

Tine, Denmark


Oh Tine, this is great to know. Did you leave him bottles of formula or ebm
during the day?
--
Marie
Mum of 3
DD born 03/98, DS1 born 11/99 DS2 born 08/03

"Irish Marie" wrote So now I am thinking that I
could give him short feeds, for comfort before
bed, when he wakes and just before I leave for work. But the worry there
is
will my supply completely dry up with so few bfs?!

Your supply will adapt, so you will find that the times you normally feed
him are the only times you are full.You will produce the amount of milk you
need for those feedings, not much more and not much less.

This business of him waking at midnight and not settling for a nap after
first feed of day has only started up since I went back to work, and I think
it must be because my supply has dropped.

Well, I doubt that. I suspect it's because he misses you, or because the other
changes in the household routine due to your returning to work have also
disrupted his routine. Or just because he's getting older; babies' sleep
patterns change all the time. He may adjust back to his former pattern
eventually, or he may not, but I don't really see how giving him a bottle of
formula is going to change anything for the better.

But what do I know, I've never given a baby a bottle of formula in my life.
:-) Anyway, I'm sure your DH would enjoy more sleep, and I suppose it's
possible that using formula in the morning would accomplish that, but it would
also mean that DH is likely to spend more time taking DS to the doctor, you
know! Not to mention that it's that much more time required for preparing and
washing bottles and that much more money needed for formula. I suspect there
are better ways of encouraging DS to sleep when DH wants him to.

In fact, you said the bottle of formula you gave him this morning didn't get
him to sleep -- breastfeeding him did! Why not just make a routine out of
nursing him to sleep again right before you leave for work?

I am tired and working
hard and not eating well enough so I can't expect my body to produce proper
feeds for him.

But by that definition, formula isn't a "proper feed" for him either! It's
considerably less so, in fact. (Your body will sacrifice itself in order to
make milk, if and as necessary -- YOU may not be very healthy, but your milk
still is.) If you need more rest and better food than you're getting, you need
more rest and better food, not to spend less time nursing! (Maybe you don't
find nursing restful, but me, I thought it was a fantastic excuse to sit on my
butt and relax for a good long stretch of time every single day!)

So now I am thinking that I could give him short feeds, for comfort before
bed, when he wakes and just before I leave for work. But the worry there is
will my supply completely dry up with so few bfs?!

Lots of women choose not to pump at work, for whatever reason, and are
successful at continuing to nurse the baby morning, evening and night, and
often all day on weekends/nonworking days, for a very long time. (For that
matter, mothers of nursing 2 and 3 year olds typically nurse only once a twice
a day, and that can go on for *years* with no supply problems.) There's no
real reason you couldn't do that, but it would be better to cut back on the
pumping more gradually, if you can. And if you go that route, don't think of
the nursing as for "comfort only"!! Every little bit of mother's milk you
supply is that much more perfect nutrition you're providing and that much less
artificial mass-produced chemically altered stuff he'll eat. You'd be much
better off to just breastfeed whenever you're with the baby, and have whoever's
caring for him use formula when you're not. Simple. Really.

Holly
Mom to Camden, 2.5 yrs
EDD #2 6/8/04

Irish Marie wrote:

He takes a 7 or 8 oz bottle after
I leave in the morning, if it is ebm though he'll reject it.

He just likes that from the tap :-).

This business of him waking at midnight and not settling for a nap after
first feed of day has only started up since I went back to work, and I think
it must be because my supply has dropped.

There's a chance of that, but it might be also that he just is dealing
with you not being there as much, and the crazyness of the house in the
mornings.

So last night, dh and I had decided it might be best I give up. It may mean
that he will be more settled at night and in the morning.

snip
I then brought him up to his cot, dh was still
asleep, and I tried settling him in for sleep but he wasn't interested
until I picked him up and bf him, that settled him and off he went.

Two different statements :-).

Tonight
when I got home from work, having not expressed today, my boobs were feeling
engorged so I bf Liam. I do say I love our little bonding session when I
get home from work, even though my DD and DS1 pull the house apart and have
endless fights until I am ready to give them full attention again.
So now I am thinking that I could give him short feeds, for comfort before
bed, when he wakes and just before I leave for work. But the worry there is
will my supply completely dry up with so few bfs?!

I think you'll be fine. Your body adjusts, and Tine did it also :-). I
think that it's good to still be bf, cause sometimes that just what the
baby needs...the calm, closeness, warmth. I know there have been times
that P has gone from one end of the spectrum to the other with
bf'ing...hyper, restless, etc to calm, playing nicely. It's good to
have a secret weapon :-).
--
'Tis Herself