A bit of a vent :-)

I went out to the food court at a local mall with a friend whose triplets
are only 3.5 months younger. So we had 6 two year olds in two triplet
strollers. Her dh was there, mine wasn't. When she and I were away from
the tables, someone asked him if all 6 were his, so he said "yes, but with
two different wives".

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)


"The Huwe Family" wrote in message
.com...
Yes, I become pregnant by use of fertility pills and injections. We tried
to conceive for 3 1/2 yrs. I think the question bothers me the most
because
I DO feel inadequate. I am "broken" per se. But I personally feel that
it
is no ones business, especially not a complete stranger. A friend I don't
have a problem telling, but then, most of my friends already know. I've
tried to ward off the question with a simple "It was a surprise to
everyone"
and I have even answered the question with "Twins run in the family" even
though the strain ends with my great grandmothers sisters. Answering the
question without really answering. I have never gotten up the nerve to
respond in the way that Dear Abby says "Why do you want to know?"

Triplets are a bit common around here too. Naperville, IL has the highest
occurrences of triplets of anywhere in the country, so it is still
surprising to cause such a stir.

On a funny note though. The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9
month
old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat. I got up to get the
food,
and a lady came over to my friend and asked if all the babies were hers.
She just laughed. We can't wait to go to a "fine" dining restaurant to
see
everyone sweat. 4 adults, 5 babies ;-).

Gayle

"Twinzmommie" wrote in message
...
Don't
recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a
couple that I just shrugged off. BRBR

Some of us who have posted about rude comments or questions have become
parents
of multiples through infertility methods. I am not sure if that is the
case
with you. However, questions like, "Do twins run in your family?, or
Did
you
use fertility drugs?" sometimes strike a nerve. It may possibly be that
our
backs are already up because before we were blessed with our children we
were
asked continually "Why don't you have kids yet, or When do you plan to
get
around to starting a family?" These sort of comments and questions
sting
quite
a bit when you are desperately wanting to become a parent but are unable
to
reach that goal without help.

As I said, I am not sure if fertility methods played a part in your
status
as a
parent of multiples and if it did maybe things just affect you
differently.

I do agree though that most often people are just being friendly, and
that
to
me is wonderful. It becomes not wonderful when their friendliness
included
touching my babies on the hands or the face or trying to get too close
where
they ended up waking one of both of them up after I had just gotten them
to
sleep.

Again those mentioned scenarios may not have been bothersome to you at
all, but
to some of us they were! We are all different aren't we?


Michelle
Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael

H Schinske wrote:

The classic answer to the runs-in-the-family question, by the way, is "They do
now!" :-)

I just say "No." LOL! :-D

--
Brigitte aa #2145
edd #3 February 15, 2004
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

H Schinske wrote:

The classic answer to the runs-in-the-family question, by the way, is "They do
now!" :-)

I just say "No." LOL! :-D

--
Brigitte aa #2145
edd #3 February 15, 2004
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

Jen in South Florida writes:
But, more generally, I also honestly don't understand why the question,
"Why don't you have kids yet?" would "sting", if the answer is, "We
would like to but we haven't been able to conceive." That seems a
perfectly straightforward answer.

I don't want this to come off as rude, but if you don't understand why
it would sting, that tells me that you didn't travel the IF road to
have your twins. Especially as it happens over and over again in face
of failed cycle after failed cycle.

I'm not going to post details here, but my wife was over 40 when we
conceived fraternal twins; obviously we had fertility treatment. This
isn't rocket science.

I guess the answer is just that this is something that some people are
sensitive about, and others aren't, and that's that. There are probably
also things that I'm sensitive about, but you wouldn't be.

Someone else asked if my wife is more bothered by intrusive questions of
various sorts. The answer is no, not at all: she loves to chat, and
would gladly talk about any of these things with a total stranger, I
think.

David desJardins

Jen in South Florida writes:
But, more generally, I also honestly don't understand why the question,
"Why don't you have kids yet?" would "sting", if the answer is, "We
would like to but we haven't been able to conceive." That seems a
perfectly straightforward answer.

I don't want this to come off as rude, but if you don't understand why
it would sting, that tells me that you didn't travel the IF road to
have your twins. Especially as it happens over and over again in face
of failed cycle after failed cycle.

I'm not going to post details here, but my wife was over 40 when we
conceived fraternal twins; obviously we had fertility treatment. This
isn't rocket science.

I guess the answer is just that this is something that some people are
sensitive about, and others aren't, and that's that. There are probably
also things that I'm sensitive about, but you wouldn't be.

Someone else asked if my wife is more bothered by intrusive questions of
various sorts. The answer is no, not at all: she loves to chat, and
would gladly talk about any of these things with a total stranger, I
think.

David desJardins

While I am very afraid of the RSV, I also don't want fear to rule my life.
I don't go out all the time, but staying inside day after day drives me
batty. There have been an occasional person who has stuck out their hands
to touch, but for the majority of people, they seem to know better and
refrain from touching. It's enough for them to look :-). I know in my
daughter's case, she is so tiny that people seem afraid to touch her because
they think they will hurt her. That's ok in my book. The only place I have
a problem saying "No" to people is at church, and have been lucky that the
only people who have been able to hold them are the few people that came
with me to the NICU to help take care of them. (I won't put them in the
nursery.)


"KimandJuan" wrote in message
...
The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9
month
old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat.

WOW, Gayle! You are so brave! I don't think I left the house at least
until
the babies were 3 months old. I was afraid of everyone wanting to touch
them
and getting sick in the fall season. You haven't had a problem with
people
wanting to touch?


~Kimberly
Mommy to Alexis Iliana 07/17/99 and
Emma Elidia & Aislyn Gabriela 10/01/02
come see us...
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aislynemma/

While I am very afraid of the RSV, I also don't want fear to rule my life.
I don't go out all the time, but staying inside day after day drives me
batty. There have been an occasional person who has stuck out their hands
to touch, but for the majority of people, they seem to know better and
refrain from touching. It's enough for them to look :-). I know in my
daughter's case, she is so tiny that people seem afraid to touch her because
they think they will hurt her. That's ok in my book. The only place I have
a problem saying "No" to people is at church, and have been lucky that the
only people who have been able to hold them are the few people that came
with me to the NICU to help take care of them. (I won't put them in the
nursery.)


"KimandJuan" wrote in message
...
The other day my family (DH, Me, 1 month old
triplets, and my mom) and a friend of mines family (Her, husband and 9
month
old twin daughters) went to a restaurant to eat.

WOW, Gayle! You are so brave! I don't think I left the house at least
until
the babies were 3 months old. I was afraid of everyone wanting to touch
them
and getting sick in the fall season. You haven't had a problem with
people
wanting to touch?


~Kimberly
Mommy to Alexis Iliana 07/17/99 and
Emma Elidia & Aislyn Gabriela 10/01/02
come see us...
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aislynemma/

Gayle,
I don't want to tell you what to do and it's not a case of 'fear ruling
your life', but I'd just be careful bringing them into stores and
restaurants. Going for a walk outside or church sounds OK. Well, with
cold.flu season coming, I wouldn't bring them to church even. Have you
asked your pedi's advice? Mine reccommended I stay home for as long as
possible, since my twins were born around the same time as your
triplets. I know it is tough, believe me, but if you can keep them
healthy through this first winter things will be great!! Mine really
have not been sick yet. We had our first runny noses this week. Will you
be getting the RSV vaccines?


~Megan~
Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
Born September 28, 2002

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis

Gayle,
I don't want to tell you what to do and it's not a case of 'fear ruling
your life', but I'd just be careful bringing them into stores and
restaurants. Going for a walk outside or church sounds OK. Well, with
cold.flu season coming, I wouldn't bring them to church even. Have you
asked your pedi's advice? Mine reccommended I stay home for as long as
possible, since my twins were born around the same time as your
triplets. I know it is tough, believe me, but if you can keep them
healthy through this first winter things will be great!! Mine really
have not been sick yet. We had our first runny noses this week. Will you
be getting the RSV vaccines?


~Megan~
Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
Born September 28, 2002

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis

I'm not going to post details here, but my wife was over 40 when we
conceived fraternal twins; obviously we had fertility treatment. BRBR

Actually, her age does not make it obvious. Many woman who are on the later
side of the child bearing years often sometimes drop more then one egg in a
cycle. The fact that she was over 40 does give a hint, but it certainly does
not make it "obvious" that fertility methods were used.




Michelle
Mommy to Riley Claire & James Michael