Our son's embarassing behavior.

On Fri, 27 Aug 2004 16:35:09 -0400, Ericka Kammerer
scribbled:

A screaming child should be removed. If that's
not happening and the staff have a problem with it, they
can simply say something to the parent directly, either
suggesting an appropriate place for the child to run
around or even just informing them that the child's
behavior is upsetting other customers. Mind you, I'm
not saying they should *have* to do that. The parent
should do that without prompting (except maybe in extreme
circumstances). But it *is* part of the job to deal
with customer issues, and the professional way to handle
the situation is to say something to the person if there's
a problem.

This depends on what is said, as well. Your examples would be
appropriate... telling someone "make that brat be quiet!" (I had this
said to me) is not, and is deserving of a complaint to the management.

I probably would complain about the unprofessional manner of the
clerks. If nothing more, they need to be told how to handle
themselves in front of customers.

Nan

"Nan" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 27 Aug 2004 10:58:05 -0800, "Peggy"
scribbled:

An excited scream is hardly a tantrum.

Agreed.

Yes, when my children have tantrums in public, I also remove them from
the
situation.
But the OP's child wasn't having a tantrum.

No, he wasn't. However, allowing a child to wander and yell in public
is annoying for other people.

I wasn't posting about tantrums. I was posting about ignorant childless
people who can't even stand an excited scream.

To be fair, it doesn't sound as if it was *a* scream, but ongoing. My
kids have done the excited screech at different times, and I don't
necessarily think one should remove them for that. But if it's going
on for a duration and the parent is just ignoring it, then it becomes
a nuisance.


My daughter tends to have a high pitched scream when she is excited and when
she uses it we gently cover her mouth and say "shhh we dont make that noise
inside." I dont let her run arround stores and I try to navagate down the
center of the isle so that she can not reach things on the shelf.. She is
grabby and I dont think store employees should have to follow behind me
picking stuff up.. I just make the messes worse right now.

Tori

In article ,
Courtney wrote:

In article ,
says...

Here's one parent with zero sympathy. I don't want to hear screaming
children or dodge
running children in a store any more than your average person without
children does.

Another one in the "I don't want to hear it" camp.

Last weekend my parents were visiting and we'd gone to Borders to pick
up a travel guide for my parents upcoming vacation. Our 19 month old was
walking around (holding my hand, which was the only way I'd allow him to
walk around) and when he started screaming because I would not let him
run to the bathrooms to explore, I picked him up (with him trying to go
limp so I couldn't pick him up) and promptly took him outside. The very
next day at the end of breakfast out we ended up outside because he got
upset when I wouldn't let him throw the car keys onto the floor
repeatedly.

He is NOT allowed to run around in stores for any reason, excited or
not, and if he starts screaming/shreeking/whatever he goes outside with
me, end of discussion.

Noise issue aside, I see so many parents let their very young toddlers
run around in stores because they are "just babies" and it's VERY
dangerous. Larger people without children often do NOT look towards the
floor, especially when seeking something out in a store. "Keeping an eye
on them" isn't good enough in a public place, and unless you're holding
on to them in some way, you are *not* in control.


Courtney


There is also the issue of people with mobility limitations. A toddler
running around can bump into people -- and make people like me fall over!

If a child needs to run -- you need to take them somewhere where their
running won't inconvenience other people, or put them in danger.

If a child needs to scream (I'm assuming NOT a tantrum, but just a
desire to use a VERY LOUD communication style) you need to take them
where that won't be upsetting -- and that does NOT include a linen store!

Now, I have a LOT of sympathy for folks in places like grocery stores
and drug stores with a toddler behaving badly. They may have no choice
but to be shopping with the child, and going home without the food or
drugs they need may not be an option. I've been the I remember one
grocery trip when DH was out of town and I had a 4-1/2 yo and toddler
twins, and one of the twins was NOT behaving well. (Not destroying
things, but loud and obviously unhappy.) I was just trying to get the
few things we absolutely had to have and get out of there, when a young
man who worked in the store suggested (rather nastily) that I ought not
bring the kids into the store if I couldn't control them. I asked
(sweetly) if he was offering to babysit so I could go shopping. He was
appalled and said "NO!" -- and I got nasty back and said, "Well, neither
is anybody else!"

(I really couldn't find ANYONE willing to watch the kids for an hour or
two -- relatives all too far away, and a not very friendly neighborhood.)

However, linen shopping is never an emergency, AND there were two of you
and only one child -- there was no reason to subject the entire store to
his unpleasant voice and running around.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

On 27 Aug 2004 10:05:17 -0700, (Chenthil) wrote:

Hello All:

Our son is 15 months old. Sometimes when he is excited, he just
screams with a big voice. We have been trying to get him out of that
habit. Last Friday, we went to a home linen shop. We had him on the
shopping cart with the belts on. But he wouldn't sit there for long
time and wanted to get down and walk. So we let him down and looking
at the new place he got overwhelmed and started to run around and
scream. However, we had a tab on him all the time. He was under our
control, not pulling down things or anything like that. But as usual
he was screaming. Lady who works at the store saw us and the kid. She
had a dirty look on her face, grumbling to herself. We were at the
checkout counter, this store emaployee tells another lady employee
that how annoying it is when our sun is screaming. She was saying that
it was not funny and the kid is running everywhere. The other lady
replied, oh geez, that isnt funny either. They knew I am standing
right there, but all the while my wife was trying to calm him down
from the screaming.

If you are in the store *with* your wife, and your child is
continually screaming, one of you should have left the store with the
child. With both of you standing there while the child continues to
scream, I am not surprised people were grumbling.

Running around in stores is also inappropriate behaviour in most
places and, as others have said, is dealt with by putting the child in
the cart if he runs about. Some kids (one of my two) go through
toddler stages where they cannot be taken to the store for a couple of
months.

I would not complain about the store employees. Their behaviour was
rude and unprofessional, but you were in the wrong in the first place
for not removing the child, when clearly in a position to do so. I
dislike screaming kids in stores, but I do have sympathy for a lone
parent who really needs to get the shopping done. I would have been a
lot less less tolerant in your case.

--Lisa bell
Mom to Gabriella (almost 6) and Michaela (4)

Both store employee knew that it was my kid. I got
pised at the employee and told her. "Well he is a small baby" and the
lady didn't talk any further. One of the lady was old enough that she
might even have grandchildren and the other lady was young. Now what
are our options, not go to any store until our kid start behaving
properly or send a formal complaint against both the employees to
store management? Have neever been in this situation before. Could you
please give any advise or what should we do?

Thanks

In article ,
says...
There is also the issue of people with mobility limitations. A toddler
running around can bump into people -- and make people like me fall over!


Yeah, in most cases with a toddler/adult collision, the adult (even a
healthy adult) is going to end up hurting more than the child - like the
numerous times the cats have tried to kill us in the middle of the
night. =)

My grandmother had been grocery shopping in the 80's - two young
children were running around the store and ended up hitting her. She
fell and her back was severely damaged. She had to have a number of
spinal surgeries and it was never even back to 40% of normal despite the
trips out of state to specialists. My grandparents ended up suing the
owner of the store for her medical bills (it was his children and he
apparently allowed the children to use the store as their playground
often) and won. I'd imagine in todays world even if the person tripped
by an unattached toddler wasn't hurt, they'd be all too happy to sue the
parents and the store.



Courtney

"Chenthil" wrote in message
om...
Hello All:

Now what
are our options, not go to any store until our kid start behaving
properly or send a formal complaint against both the employees to
store management?

How about just shopping in a different store. They have spoken. Let your
money speak for you.

Jeff

Have neever been in this situation before. Could you
please give any advise or what should we do?

Thanks

"Peggy" wrote in message ...
"Chenthil" wrote in message
om...
Hello All:


I would ignore it and chalk it up to them probably not having any children
of their own. They're obviously ignorant to children's behavior and have
never experienced such behavior for themselves. Most parents would
empathize with you and have sympathy for you, having been in your shoes
before.
Let it roll off your back.
~Peggy


WHY would you assume the annoyed person in the store does not have
children? I have been in stores where parents who were sick of
screaming children screamed back, or worse yet made threats or tried
to bribe the child to stop. No adult is always immune to screaming
children. If those rude people worked in retail, believe me, they
have experienced that behavior before.
Don't teach your child that it is okay to run willy-nilly around a
store, whether you have -tab- on them or not. Get them out of there.
Better yet, set the child up for success - tell them before you enter
the store how you expect them to behave. If they cannot behave as you
wanted, take them out. Tell them you hope they make a better choice
next time.
Deb

teacherDeb wrote:

Don't teach your child that it is okay to run willy-nilly around a
store, whether you have -tab- on them or not. Get them out of there.
Better yet, set the child up for success - tell them before you enter
the store how you expect them to behave. If they cannot behave as you
wanted, take them out. Tell them you hope they make a better choice
next time.

Umm...this child is 15 months old. I highly doubt
that telling him to make a better choice next time is
going to work. At this age, there's not much to be
done other than try to work around the child's schedule
and remove the child when he gets too wild.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Chenthil" wrote in message
om...
Hello All:

Our son is 15 months old. Sometimes when he is excited, he just
screams with a big voice. We have been trying to get him out of that
habit. Last Friday, we went to a home linen shop. We had him on the
shopping cart with the belts on. But he wouldn't sit there for long
time and wanted to get down and walk. So we let him down and looking
at the new place he got overwhelmed and started to run around and
scream. However, we had a tab on him all the time. He was under our
control, not pulling down things or anything like that. But as usual
he was screaming. Lady who works at the store saw us and the kid. She
had a dirty look on her face, grumbling to herself. We were at the
checkout counter, this store emaployee tells another lady employee
that how annoying it is when our sun is screaming. She was saying that
it was not funny and the kid is running everywhere. The other lady
replied, oh geez, that isnt funny either. They knew I am standing
right there, but all the while my wife was trying to calm him down
from the screaming. Both store employee knew that it was my kid. I got
pised at the employee and told her. "Well he is a small baby" and the
lady didn't talk any further. One of the lady was old enough that she
might even have grandchildren and the other lady was young. Now what
are our options, not go to any store until our kid start behaving
properly or send a formal complaint against both the employees to
store management? Have neever been in this situation before. Could you
please give any advise or what should we do?

Thanks

Take your money elsewhere.
Those employees cost that store your business.

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
teacherDeb wrote:

Don't teach your child that it is okay to run willy-nilly around a
store, whether you have -tab- on them or not. Get them out of there.
Better yet, set the child up for success - tell them before you enter
the store how you expect them to behave. If they cannot behave as you
wanted, take them out. Tell them you hope they make a better choice
next time.

Umm...this child is 15 months old. I highly doubt
that telling him to make a better choice next time is
going to work. At this age, there's not much to be
done other than try to work around the child's schedule
and remove the child when he gets too wild.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Or putting the child in a cart or a stroller. I dont let Bonnie out of my
arms reach in any store.. that means she is either carried, in a cart, or in
a stroller..

Tori