Preparing for a Pet's Death

Scott,

Sorry for your loss -- we had a pair of great dogs who lived to be 11 and 12
and it was so hard to say goodbye.

Your kids are older than Henry was at the time (I believe he was 2.5) but I
still recommend Cynthia Rylant's excellent and moving book "Dog Heaven" if your
family has any religious tradition at all. It still makes me cry, but in a
happy, sentimental, good-memory sort of way:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...=1064875291/sr
=8-1/ref=sr_8_1/104-1858395-0169560?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

or

http://tinyurl.com/p3wn

I've found most book stores carry a single copy, re-ordering when it is sold.
You might be able to snag one locally.

FWIW Henry saw our older dog, Falstaff, after he died at home, and was mostly
fascinated by the fact that he was dead. He petted him for a while and said
good-bye. He was not traumatized. We knew we were going to euthanize Chelsea,
and let Henry know ahead of time so he could say good-bye. I'm not sure we
would do that today; he is quite dramatic and I envision a struggle the day of
the planned euthanization; YMMV -- ultimately you'll probably have a pretty
good idea of how your kids will react. If you can, try hard to meet their
anticipated needs, not your own -- it can be hard to tell the difference
through your own grief.

My best to you all,

-Dawn
Mom to Henry, 11

We just went through this experience.

Onyx was approaching 16 years and slowing down slightly. Early this
summer she began having trouble walking. A few weeks later she stopped
eating. My vet came to my home and put her down peacefully.

I had been talking with DD(7.5) about Onyx's dying, and had asked her,
if Onyx should die while you are at school, do you want to say goodbye
or should I take her away? (We discussed what would happen to the body)
She wanted to see her a last time.

That afternoon at the bus stop I told DD I had some sad news. "Onyx
died?" was her response. We went inside and cried together, stroking
Onyx's silky fur and trying to get her eyes to stay closed. We wrapped
the (slightly stiff) body in a blanket and took her to the vet's office.

A day later I started hearing "You said we'd get another dog after Onyx
died - can we go today?" We lasted only about three weeks until we got
a new puppy. Which is like having a new baby, but that's another story.

Liz



Scott Lindstrom wrote:


We have a wonderful dog who predates our kids -- well,
we got Mollie from the pound when DD was in utero, although
we didn't know it yet. Mollie is a Golden/Chow/Border
Collie mix and has been a wonderful companion. And boy!
is she soft!

http://www.ssec.wisc.edu/~scottl/pictures/old/MolliePuppyDog.jpg

Anyway, Mollie is failing. I woke up today to find
what my Mother used to call dog dirt all over the living
room carpet, and Mollie was scarcely able to walk. (She
has big lumps -- presumably tumors -- on both sides of
her hips that have been interfering pretty severely with
her mobility). She ate none of her breakfast, and threw
up on her bed and is now holding her head at an angle.
Well, this could be a reaction to the chicken liver we gave
her yesterday -- her stomach is very intolerant to rich foods.
Or it could be the beginning of the end, and a euthanization
could be in the future for us sooner rather than later.
I'm gonna try to find a vet that will come to the house and
do the deed there, and then take Mollie away. Everyone
will be a wreck, I'm sure.

If anyone has experience with this, and how their kids
responded, I'd like to hear it.

Thanks.

Scott DD 10 and DS 7 and Mollie McButter PuppyDog, somewhere
between 12 and 15 in human years

Well, Mollie is still not 100% -- she's not really eating
anything (Tonight we're browning some hamburger for her
to see how she likes that), but she's drinking water at
least.

One poster suggested Mollie has Canine Vestibular Disease,
and she does have all the symptoms, so we're waiting to
see how she improves. The in-law's dog had the same
thing last year, and recovered (MIL suggested the ground
beef treatment).

We rolled up the rugs in the living room to deal with
Mollie's temporary incontinence. Now the living room
is covered with towels so she can stagger around and
not slip on the hardwood floors. It sure is easier to
throw the towels in the wash than to steam clean the rug

Yesterday DD's best friend for 8 years called to make
sure we called her and had her come over to say "Bye"
to Mollie when/if the time comes.

DD and DS seem to have taken this in stride, but we'll
see what happens if Mollie gets worse.

Thanks to everyone for their kind thoughts!

Scott, DD 10 and DS 7

Scott, DD 10 and DS 7
I can very much feel for the situation you must be going through at the
moment.
Our dog was getting old, and our Mum had him (Tricksy, an Australiain
Terrier) put to sleep whilst us kids where away at camp. Tricksy was about
14 and was in failing health, something us kids really don't see/know or
understand. Well, I'm now 43 and I still feel badly about the way we where
not told about what happened. Well, I own a dog of my own (Neelix, a Fox
Terrier cross) and I take a great deal of interest in the health of animals.
Can I suggest two things. First, if your dog seems like it is not living a
comfortable life, please consider that although we would do almost anything
for our pets, sadly there life-span is alot shorter than ours. The other is
have a family meeting, letting your children know the state of Mollies
health and how it effects her day to day life. It may be possible to arrange
a visit to the vets, where the vet can explain in understandable terms what
Mollies future holds. It may be easier for you too, having someone else
spell out the news. Also, have a family meeting and decide what will happen,
both whilst Mollie is still with you, when and how you feel it's time to let
Mollie rest, and what to do after. We can't stop Mollie from passing away,
but being prepared and having a plan might help you all through this
difficult time. I don't know whether you would have a memorial service, Let
Mollie rest in a pet cemetery or have some reminder made and set up in the
house somewhere. I sometimes wonder what I will do when Neelix starts
getting too old. Dogs are very much mans best friend. I hope you are able to
sort your way through this tough time.
John



"Scott Lindstrom" wrote in message
...

Well, Mollie is still not 100% -- she's not really eating
anything (Tonight we're browning some hamburger for her
to see how she likes that), but she's drinking water at
least.

One poster suggested Mollie has Canine Vestibular Disease,
and she does have all the symptoms, so we're waiting to
see how she improves. The in-law's dog had the same
thing last year, and recovered (MIL suggested the ground
beef treatment).

We rolled up the rugs in the living room to deal with
Mollie's temporary incontinence. Now the living room
is covered with towels so she can stagger around and
not slip on the hardwood floors. It sure is easier to
throw the towels in the wash than to steam clean the rug

Yesterday DD's best friend for 8 years called to make
sure we called her and had her come over to say "Bye"
to Mollie when/if the time comes.

DD and DS seem to have taken this in stride, but we'll
see what happens if Mollie gets worse.

Thanks to everyone for their kind thoughts!

Scott, DD 10 and DS 7

Scott Lindstrom wrote in message . ..

If anyone has experience with this, and how their kids
responded, I'd like to hear it.

Our cat Jasmine died this summer at the age of 16. Her world had been
becoming more and more limited as she grew older. Before we finally
had her put to sleep, her life was limited to the top of our bed,
under our bed, the food dish, and the litterbox. The final problem for
her was making it to the litter box at midnight and 4:00 AM, and we
had too many "accidents". I told my husband it was time. He was in
total denial, and it was very hard for me to take the leadership in
this decision.

You may remember this post I made: http://tinyurl.com/pdfh. I'd note
that Newt has stayed away from all things in the will that he was
supposed to avoid, with the notable exception of my husband's
computer.

Our older child elected not to go to the vet's for the euthanasia; the
younger child did. We then buried her in our yard. I read the Rainbow
Bridge story. Everyone cried and cried.

I think it's good for children to see you grieve -- they also need to
feel like they can express the loss as much or as little as they need
to, you know?

You have all my sympathies. This is hard on everyone, but you need to
do what you need to do, you know? Just be glad for the times you did
share together, you, your family, and your beloved animal.

Warm Regards,


Claire Petersky )
Home of the meditative cyclist:
http://home.earthlink.net/~cpetersky/Welcome.htm

Books just wanna be FREE! See what I mean at:
http://bookcrossing.com/friend/Cpetersky

Scott Lindstrom wrote in message . ..
If anyone has experience with this, and how their kids
responded, I'd like to hear it.

Thanks.

Scott DD 10 and DS 7 and Mollie McButter PuppyDog, somewhere
between 12 and 15 in human years


My condolences on Molly's failing. We recently went through this with
our cat Bingo, who was 18.5 when he died. He was so ancient, and
obviously way predated my children, so he was my cat. They have a dog
that they adore, but my daughter especially loved Bingo. He was an
amazing cat, very smart, and did a lot of tricks. But the last couple
of years of his life were not great and I think in the end I should
have taken action sooner than I did. Hindsight....

Bingo was put down by our long time vet, who just adored him. This vet
is in a huge practice, but his specialty is cats with kidney problems,
which Bingo had for many years, and he really loved his patients.
Bingo ended up not even minding going to the vet because they had such
a good relationship. So, when it was time, we all came, and we all
cried (and I'm crying now just writing about it) and we all stroked
him and held him and told him how much we loved him, and then he just
went to sleep.

This is the 3rd pet I have had to put down in my adult life, and I've
always handled it the same way. When the quality of life really passes
and the pet is in pain, it crosses the line IMO from being a
responsible pet guardian (as they say in SF, you can't OWN a pet!) and
forgetting about your pet's welfare to care for your own. This is my
feeling, and other people feel diffently and I respect that. But for
my family, when a pet is ailing to the point of incontinence on a
constant basis (and I mean CONSTANT), is unable to walk without pain,
and is obviously only living to sleep and eat, then maybe it's time to
consider your options.

As I said, we have a dog, but we're still not ready to get another
cat. We've been talking about it a lot recently, but the truth is, I
don't think I could ever love another cat the way I loved Bingo. He
was my first cat and was raised by an ancient Irish Setter (my pets
tend to live forever) for the first year of his life and was
remarkably dog-like. In fact, he *loved* dogs and really didn't like
other cats. We tried to introduce one to our household once, and it
was disasterous. My son turned out to be allergic to this long-haired
cat and he went to live with a coworker of mine. Bingo was so happy he
was gone that I couldn't ever even consider trying this again. He was
a one cat kinda guy!

All I can say is, make sure your kids know the difference between
sleep and death, and let them know that it takes time to heal before
you can even think about replacing a pet. Explain that there is this
phantom pet thing, where you bend over to pat a pet, or step over a
spot where your pet usually sleeps long after he's gone. It's weird,
but it happens and it's better for them to know what to expect when it
happens to them.

I'm really sorry this is happening to your family and to Molly,

Marjorie

Mollie was put down this morning. This was the first
time I've ever seen it done, and it was pretty peaceful,
although we didn't see the part where they put the
catheter in Mollie's leg, after shaving it. *That*
probably wasn't peaceful.

DD and her friend covered our driveway with chalk
yesterday -- We'll Miss you Mollie, Summer without
you is like the coldest winter, and things like that.
It really isn't very easy to drive up the driveway.
DS cried for a while in my arms last night also. Oof,
he's still very heavy.

To top it all off, today is picture day at DD's school,
and I swear to God it looks like she has a zit on
her forehead.

Scott DD 10 and DS 7 and Mollie McButter PuppyDog,
leap-leaping through the snow somewhere.

Scott Lindstrom wrote:

Mollie was put down this morning. This was the first
time I've ever seen it done, and it was pretty peaceful,
although we didn't see the part where they put the
catheter in Mollie's leg, after shaving it. *That*
probably wasn't peaceful.

I'm sorry for your family's loss. If it helps any, the vet usually
gives the pet a sedative and allows it to work before beginning the
procedure. It takes effect in minutes, if you don't think enough time
elapsed for a sedative. My vet did this even though she knew she'd be
making the injection without a catheter.

DD and her friend covered our driveway with chalk
yesterday -- We'll Miss you Mollie, Summer without
you is like the coldest winter, and things like that.
It really isn't very easy to drive up the driveway.
DS cried for a while in my arms last night also. Oof,
he's still very heavy.

It's healing to cry together. DD and her friends ran around taking
turns wearing Onyx's collar that afternoon. We looked at photos that
evening.
Liz

I am sorry for your loss.

Every living thing dies. Death is a part of life.

One book that is excellent for you (and later for you kids) is "How we die"
by Sherwin Nuland. It is an outstanding book about life and the end of life.

Jeff