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#41
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Dr. Phil
"CME" wrote in message news:LW4zb.92095$oN2.54527@edtnps84...
"Andrew" wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... the man is more likely to take time for himself then the women. moms tend to think the family will cease to exist without them there to control it? T Ahhh marriage, the coming together of a male idle b*stard and a female egotistical maniac. Sheer bliss. ;-) LOL (its humor, so any and all attacks will be completely ignored) Andrew Hey... that's Ms. Ego Maniac to you. Christine Self indulging b*stard better and feministic self love? hee hee. V |
#43
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Dr. Phil
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#44
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Dr. Phil
Vickychick wrote in message om... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... I am not sure if the original post was on single parenting but I like to add that ALL parents fall into that trap of being to giving of themselves. Of course, but my original post is geared towards single parents, hence the newsgroup title. Of what I see around me and in my profession, it is not more or less of a single parenting thing. It is a parenting issue. Very much, but with a two parent household, functioning within normal limits, I see the stress is lessened. With a single person, you have to depend on family, friends, ex's to ease up some stress. I also will add, that in homes where there are two parents, it seems to me that the man is more likely to take time for himself then the women. That is not always true. The guy I am dating is a single dad and he is not taking too much time for himself. I think that is generalizing men. But your case is different... he is a single dad..... my comment was concerning 2 parent homes. T |
#45
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Dr. Phil
"Vickychick" wrote in message om... oaway (Joelle) wrote in message ... I think Paul has a point about how a lot of women have higher standards about housekeeping than men. So they don't give men credit for what they do, or they complain and criticize what they do and so they don't do it. So rather than talk about what is going on, they withdraw help to teach the little woman a lesson? Well that really puts it back on men to look at it that way. I doubt they are thinking about "teaching her a lesson" - my guess is, they don't like being criticized so they don't do it. Kids are like that. People are like that. Yea, talking about it helps. I'm just offering the counter to the stereotype that "men never help around the house" with the other side that when they do, it's often not good enough. I think there's a power thing going on, women still want to be "in charge" of the housework and want to set the standards. But if it really is a shared responsiblity, then you have to agree on the standards as well. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle So right. You must have patience. I am now teaching J and C to iron. I want them to be self sufficient when they are in college, etc. I have set up the washing machine to arrows and stickers...put arrow here....and a direction sheet nearby. Of course, we discussed the dangers of the equipment too. It is supervised, but one day it won't be. BOTH a male and female child are doing the same chores and I do not label them as "male or female" roles. That does not fly in my home. V I have to say though that the roles still play a 'role' in my life. I have a tendency to define myself as a man by my ability to look after my family, and in this context look after generally means financial and confrontational. I need to be able to provide enough money to keep my family well, if anyone hassles any of my immediate circle then it is my role to confront the 'hassler' and take some remedial action. This may only mean taking the little brat to its mother and telling the mother that an apology to my child might be in order in addition to some proper discipline at home (or it could mean the Charles Bronson I'll come after you guys route, don't know, in the four and a half year old circles not many gangsters or murders as yet!) and I do tend to think of more household responsibilities when I think of the female role. In practice, though, what each party does in any relationship I have been involved in tends to be sort of mutually agreed even if some of it just sort of happens like the potato peeling turning into my responsibility (as I said I like it cos I find it easy, I'm really quick and if I'm doing that I can't be given any other jobs I consider to be lousy). In some ways single parent hood has been good in that its certainly taught me a lot and I can do all the jobs required, know what is involved in each so I know when and where sacrifices are being made. HanK is right in that in some ways it is easier when there is no negotiation, you just get on with all the jobs and make all the decisions, however it is also hard in that there is lots to be done to bring a child up and I do think 2 would be better. Sorry, rambling, good old Budweiser time outs! Anyhoo, with what I know now and have been through I think I am a better person and a better parent Andrew PS (still not tempted to buy an animated T shirt to go with my inspirational emails though!) |
#46
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Dr. Phil (going off topic with story of supper the other night...)
"Andrew" wrote in message ... I have to say though that the roles still play a 'role' in my life. I have a tendency to define myself as a man by my ability to look after my family, and in this context look after generally means financial and confrontational. I need to be able to provide enough money to keep my family well, if anyone hassles any of my immediate circle then it is my role to confront the 'hassler' and take some remedial action. This may only mean taking the little brat to its mother and telling the mother that an apology to my child might be in order in addition to some proper discipline at home AHH HAHAHAHA! Reminds me: The other day, we went out for dinner to that Chuck E Cheese place... Brand new one opened up here a few months ago, and I haven't been to that place for probably well over 10 years... (I loved Bullwinkles, which also shut down years ago, but Chuck E Cheese was a place we went to very seldom) Anyways, we got there, ate disgusting food, then played the games. B was happy to play in the tunnels that ran up on the ceiling, and as I was off acting 12, playing the games, trying and trying to get as many tickets as possible, my mom was in that play area with B. I came back to reality and my mom standing there, and she was laughing to herself. At first, I thought she'd gone insane. Then she told me that the girl standing behind us a bit came crying out of the tunnels and slide and ran to her mom to cry about Bran in the tunnels trying to scare her. Ok, I figured this girl was about 5, and then the mom came over and said to my mom, "the little boy you are with - my daughter came out and told me he was trying to scare her." I looked at this woman. My mom said, that's your daughter over there? My grandson is only 2 years old! (3 in a couple months, anyways, but still only 2 :Þ lol) and the woman looked shocked, and was like, "He's only 2? Oh, I thought he was way older and crawling around in the tunnels scaring all the kids! She just couldn't get over it that he was not even 3 and her daughter came out crying over that. She then said that it was her daughter's 6th birthday and she was having her party here. It was just so damn funny... We couldn't stop laughing. The headlines for Chuck E Cheese: Girl, 6, terrified and tormented by almost 3 year old boy in tunnels! Haha sorry, totally off topic, but what you said just reminded me of that woman from the other night. -- A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text. Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing? A: Top-posting. Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet? snip |
#47
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Dr. Phil (going off topic with story of supper the other night...)
"kat" wrote in message news:YJMzb.12682$bC.5287@clgrps13... "Andrew" wrote in message ... I have to say though that the roles still play a 'role' in my life. I have a tendency to define myself as a man by my ability to look after my family, and in this context look after generally means financial and confrontational. I need to be able to provide enough money to keep my family well, if anyone hassles any of my immediate circle then it is my role to confront the 'hassler' and take some remedial action. This may only mean taking the little brat to its mother and telling the mother that an apology to my child might be in order in addition to some proper discipline at home AHH HAHAHAHA! Reminds me: The other day, we went out for dinner to that Chuck E Cheese place... Brand new one opened up here a few months ago, and I haven't been to that place for probably well over 10 years... (I loved Bullwinkles, which also shut down years ago, but Chuck E Cheese was a place we went to very seldom) Anyways, we got there, ate disgusting food, then played the games. B was happy to play in the tunnels that ran up on the ceiling, and as I was off acting 12, playing the games, trying and trying to get as many tickets as possible, my mom was in that play area with B. I came back to reality and my mom standing there, and she was laughing to herself. At first, I thought she'd gone insane. Then she told me that the girl standing behind us a bit came crying out of the tunnels and slide and ran to her mom to cry about Bran in the tunnels trying to scare her. Ok, I figured this girl was about 5, and then the mom came over and said to my mom, "the little boy you are with - my daughter came out and told me he was trying to scare her." I looked at this woman. My mom said, that's your daughter over there? My grandson is only 2 years old! (3 in a couple months, anyways, but still only 2 :Þ lol) and the woman looked shocked, and was like, "He's only 2? Oh, I thought he was way older and crawling around in the tunnels scaring all the kids! She just couldn't get over it that he was not even 3 and her daughter came out crying over that. She then said that it was her daughter's 6th birthday and she was having her party here. It was just so damn funny... We couldn't stop laughing. The headlines for Chuck E Cheese: Girl, 6, terrified and tormented by almost 3 year old boy in tunnels! Haha sorry, totally off topic, but what you said just reminded me of that woman from the other night. Several thoughts: OMG. you mean Chuck E Cheese is a real thing???!!? I thought it was just a facetious name in a novel I've been reading recently. That's scary. Don't know what else you guys are up to that side of the water but stop it now! I sincerely hope 'Chuck E Cheese' is not a black tie establishment. "Kat (slap face, slap face, slap face, throw water on head) get a grip girl! It's OK. We're here for you. Stick with the program. We kicked off with Dr Phil remember? Breath deep and try to focus" (the drugs do work!) LOL. O dear, lost the plot entirely. :-) How come everyone elses smileys look better than mine? Is it real or just a self esteem thing? Why am I still seeing this stuff about top posting below? Is there some kind of message here? See if I peel your potatoes!!! -- A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text. Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing? A: Top-posting. Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet? snip |
#48
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Dr. Phil (going off topic with story of supper the other night...)
"kat" wrote in message news:YJMzb.12682$bC.5287@clgrps13... "Andrew" wrote in message ... AHH HAHAHAHA! Haha sorry, totally off topic, but what you said just reminded me of that woman from the other night. "Barman, I'll have one of what she's drinking!" ;-) |
#49
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Dr. Phil
'Kate wrote in message ... On Tue, 2 Dec 2003 08:50:50 -0500, "Tiffany" Joelle wrote in message ... When they should be grateful that he ever lifted a finger to do something to contribute? This may surprise you but some men know darn well that if they shrink a few sweaters or put something dark in the white wash a few times, that will be the last time they are ever asked to do laundry in the house. 'Kate Nope, not me. He ruined several of my work clothes by drying them on high (can we say SHRINK? They were dry clean only). Now he's just not allowed to was MY clothes. He still washes his and DS. AND he takes care of the kitchen for me when he's not working :-D!!! hugs, *b |
#50
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Dr. Phil
CME wrote in message ... 'Kate wrote in message There are, of course, exceptional men and women who shared duties from the start or have adopted non-traditional roles by choice. Yeah and where can I meet them??? lol I'll collect you from Dublin airport ;-) Dennis |
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