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Need help ... Interacting with girlfriends baby
Hello, I am a young man who is involved in a developing relationship
with a single mother of a 1 yr old boy. I recently met him for the first few times, and while I am excited about getting involved with his life, I am admittedly very nervous and unsure of what to do. Things seem to go well, he seems to be smiling at me a lot and everything, but I have never been in a situation where I have interacted with young children, and would love to have someone elses perspectives on getting involved in the life of a younger child, and any tips they may have. Thank you very much in advance for any advice you have. |
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Need help ... Interacting with girlfriends baby
awwwww, you sound nice to worry about this.
Be yourself, kids know when you are not. In my opinion, dont force it, just spend time with him, play a few games, and be very patient. Hope all goes well Fiona "rwinnh" wrote in message m... Hello, I am a young man who is involved in a developing relationship with a single mother of a 1 yr old boy. I recently met him for the first few times, and while I am excited about getting involved with his life, I am admittedly very nervous and unsure of what to do. Things seem to go well, he seems to be smiling at me a lot and everything, but I have never been in a situation where I have interacted with young children, and would love to have someone elses perspectives on getting involved in the life of a younger child, and any tips they may have. Thank you very much in advance for any advice you have. |
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Need help ... Interacting with girlfriends baby
rwinnh wrote:
Hello, I am a young man who is involved in a developing relationship with a single mother of a 1 yr old boy. I recently met him for the first few times, and while I am excited about getting involved with his life, I am admittedly very nervous and unsure of what to do. Things seem to go well, he seems to be smiling at me a lot and everything, but I have never been in a situation where I have interacted with young children, and would love to have someone elses perspectives on getting involved in the life of a younger child, and any tips they may have. Thank you very much in advance for any advice you have. ------------- You need to learn english. Steve |
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Need help ... Interacting with girlfriends baby
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Need help ... Interacting with girlfriends baby
rwinnh wrote:
Hello, I am a young man who is involved in a developing relationship with a single mother of a 1 yr old boy. Parenting is a little bit like having an obsessive hobby. It takes up ALL your free time, it doesn't stop and it isn't all that much fun much of the time. People do it for a variety of reasons, but the underlying reason is love. If you aren't willing to love this child and spend 40 hours a week for the next 17 years doing things with and for this child, find another girlfriend. I participate in a group supporting marriage and a reoccurring theme is the marriage with toddlers/preschoolers falling apart. Typically one of the partners come in saying, "we have a one year old and a three year old and life is hard and I'm not having ANY fun with my partner, it's all work work work. I want to find a partner who I can have fun with." They are completely missing the point that the work comes from their situation, not from having a bad partner. When life gets easier (like when the kids can dress themselves, read to themselves, do toileting without help, etc.) the marriage typically improves simply because the people have more leisure time. Anyway, my point is that a girlfriend who has overwhelming personal time commitments isn't all that available for doing typical teen-age romance stuff. Parents of one year olds get maybe two hours a week alone together without their kid. I can't imagine how she even found time to date you to start with! Wendy |
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Need help ... Interacting with girlfriends baby
rwinnh wrote:
Things seem to go well, he seems to be smiling at me a lot and everything, but I have never been in a situation where I have interacted with young children, and would love to have someone elses perspectives on getting involved in the life of a younger child As already said: toddlers are very self-centered and will be quite clear about what they like and what they don't like. Be flexible, follow their 'lead' and you should be fine. As an adult, you will have to learn how to play again. For a toddler everything in the world is new. DS just discovered gravity, and will throw anything down time and time again. Try to see things in the same perspective, and soon you will come up with the most impossible games to play, castles to build and stories to tell. Fun ways to start off: play hide and seek with a kitchen towel. Have him discover different parts of your face. Build castles with wooden blocks, or Lego that he can take apart. Have him ride on your lap and sing a song, at one point in the song, let him drop between your legs, or lift him up in the air, do this several times and always drop/lift at the same point in the song (of course holding on tight). HTH! -- -- Ilse mom to Olaf (07/15/2002) TTC #2 "What's the use of brains if you are a girl?" Aletta Jacobs, first Dutch woman to receive a PhD |
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Need help ... Interacting with girlfriends baby
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Need help ... Interacting with girlfriends baby
Wendy Marsden wrote in message ...
I participate in a group supporting marriage and a reoccurring theme is the marriage with toddlers/preschoolers falling apart. Typically one of the partners come in saying, "we have a one year old and a three year old and life is hard and I'm not having ANY fun with my partner, it's all work work work. I want to find a partner who I can have fun with." They are completely missing the point that the work comes from their situation, not from having a bad partner. When life gets easier (like when the kids can dress themselves, read to themselves, do toileting without help, etc.) the marriage typically improves simply because the people have more leisure time. Anyway, my point is that a girlfriend who has overwhelming personal time commitments isn't all that available for doing typical teen-age romance stuff. Parents of one year olds get maybe two hours a week alone together without their kid. I can't imagine how she even found time to date you to start with! Maybe it's just because we're just entering the toddler stage (my son is almost one) and I'm about to encounter a staggering comeuppance, but... it's hard, but I'm not sure I think it's *that* hard. What time do most people's one-year-olds go to bed? Mine is usually down by eight and I'm good until ten, so we get two hours a day alone together without our son. Granted, I'm usually a little punchy, and it's not like we spend it gazing into each other's eyes while violins play, mostly it's doing dishes and laundry and such, but still, it's adult together time and it does a lot to keep us connected with each other. I freely admit that my house is a mess and we eat too much convenience food and there's laundry everywhere in various stages of done, and so on, so maybe it's my pathetically low standards that make this all possible, or something. Beth Sam 8/16/2002 |
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Need help ... Interacting with girlfriends baby
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Need help ... Interacting with girlfriends baby
Elizabeth Reid wrote:
Wendy Marsden wrote in message ... I participate in a group supporting marriage and a reoccurring theme is the marriage with toddlers/preschoolers falling apart. Typically one of the partners come in saying, "we have a one year old and a three year old and life is hard and I'm not having ANY fun with my partner, it's all work work work. I want to find a partner who I can have fun with." They are completely missing the point that the work comes from their situation, not from having a bad partner. When life gets easier (like when the kids can dress themselves, read to themselves, do toileting without help, etc.) the marriage typically improves simply because the people have more leisure time. Anyway, my point is that a girlfriend who has overwhelming personal time commitments isn't all that available for doing typical teen-age romance stuff. Parents of one year olds get maybe two hours a week alone together without their kid. I can't imagine how she even found time to date you to start with! Maybe it's just because we're just entering the toddler stage (my son is almost one) and I'm about to encounter a staggering comeuppance, but... it's hard, but I'm not sure I think it's *that* hard. What time do most people's one-year-olds go to bed? I wouldn't describe it so dismally and my marriage is fine but it sounded right on the mark to me. There are many factors including the intensity of the children, # of hours the parents work, personality of the parents etc. etc. My time is pretty much all accounted for until 10 most night and it is only in the last few months that I can count on my two actually sleeping alone for any meaningful length of time so I can have my very own free time or couple time (but dh is generally sleeping by then). The age mine are now (2 and 4) I'm just more worn out then ever with how much *work* they are just to keep them clothed and fed much less entertained and I haven't even started potty training Luke :-) Jeez, I wanted 3???? Not till these two can put on their own shoes, open all the doors, and do their own seat belts, Lol. -- Nikki Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2) |
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