Thank you all so much for your advice - particularly Chotti's epic posting
and Anne. Lucy - thank you also for your posting - which makes alot more
sense to me than what the nurse has said. I don't feel it's right to let my
child cry it out (controlled crying is what the nurse recommended - going in
and checking to see if there's a problem, if not leaving child to cry for
10mins, then going back, resettling child, patting tummy, reassuring them
for 10mins, then leaving them for 10 etc. etc. - repetitive reassurance).
There are some occasions when Charlotte doesn't want to feed and when I try
to rock her she wrestles to get free of my arms, as though she's being over
fussed. When that happens I've found putting her down in her cot for 10
minutes (where she soothes herself with her favourite toy) helps. After 10
minutes she then throws away the toy in frustration that she can't get off
to sleep and then is usually happy to be nursed or rocked. This usually
happens when she's overtired.

I'm perfectly happy to nurse my bubs during the night, it's just the past
few nights the second or third time she's woken she hasn't really fed - just
latched on and dozed, but then cried when put back in her cot. She doesn't
seem to be showing teething symptoms - though Anne's posting where she
mentions the
teeth moving around in the jaw even if they aren't close to coming
through is interesting. Also, Charlotte's cry, when she wakes, hasn't been
one of pain, which led me to think she could have been waking and struggling
to resettle herself - though as one person pointed out - if she was
previously waking for only one feed then she does know how to settle
herself.

I'm really thankful for the reassurance that it's okay to nurse Charlotte to
sleep and to trust my instincts. So many people/nurse/other parents/books
say to do the feed, play, sleep routine - but sometimes Charlotte's need for
a feed and sleep come at the same time and I know, as an adult, I enjoy a
glass of hot milk before I go to bed - so what's wrong with a little'un
having a sup of Mummy's milk!

It's so hard to know if what I'm doing is right, when there is so much
conflicting advice 'out there' - though it's interesting and reassuring to
read that many of the posters in response to my e-mail seem to think along
the same lines and disagree with letting a young baby 'cry it out' and agree
with doing whatever possible to soothe and comfort their babies.

Charlotte is a very happy baby and is so alert and interested in the world
around her - her proud Daddy has set up a wee website so her Grandparents
and family in the UK can keep tabs on her progress - which you're welcome to
visit at http://homepages.paradise.net.nz/danlee73/ - I just want to make
sure I'm doing the best for her, but often wonder what that is! I really
must learn to trust my instincts and put blinkers on when the nurse/joe
bloggs/whoever tells me something that doesn't feel right.

Sorry this is such a HUGE posting! Thanks again for all the wonderful
advice and reference to books,

Best wishes, Sarah & Charlotte




"Sarah Lee" wrote in message
...
My daughter is just over 5 months and for her night sleeps my husband and
I
have been bathing her and then nursing her to sleep (she's exclusively
breastfed and won't take the bottle). Up
until a few weeks ago she was waking once for a nightfeed and sleeping 10
to
11 hours all up (I was quite happy with this). However, the past few
weeks
she has started to wake 2 or 3
times a night and I know she isn't hungry - just looking for a 'comfort
suck'. She hasn't really taken to solids and the nurse said it's probably
because she's getting extra at night, even though she's only comfort
sucking
and not having a full feed, and that I should let her cry/sleep train her.
Incidentally she hasn't increased her number of day feeds, and generally
feeds every 3 to 4 hours, sometimes going 5 hours without wanting a feed
(usually around the middle of the day).

Last night we had a hell of a night, my baby went down at 7.30, woke at
10.30 for a
feed, then 12.30 and then 2am - I knew she wasn't hungry at 2am and my
husband and I went through 2 hours of hell starting 'controlled crying'.
I
really hate hearing her cry, but am led to believe that this is what we
now
must do. I'm wondering if anyone on the newsgroup can offer
advice/tips/words of wisdom?

Also, during the day I often lie with her for her day naps and nurse her
down - usually because I'm tired and need the sleep myself! Otherwise I
go
out for a walk in the pram. I've found the latter is no longer working as
her ability to fight off sleep has become very strong. Anyone got any
ideas, or am I going to have to face the music and let her cry it out
(which
I've done on occasion when she's overtired and doesn't want to be
rocked/nursed).

Any advice very much appreciated.

Sarah & Charlotte (born 28 June)