Most High School Athletic Coaches are Jerks

My son is 17 and has played numerous different sports and had at least
30 different coaches over the years that he has played sports,
starting at age 4. Through all these coaches, I would say that there
were only 4 or 5 that weren't absolute jerks. These coaches think
they are GOD. When the kids are really young, they look up to and
even, in some cases, idolize their coaches; and I always found it
really sad when a coach tells a parent who asks why their 7 year old
is always sitting on the bench that "they have to earn their time out
there". Give me a break. No, he doesn't have to earn his time out
there, I'm paying for him to play!!

As my son got older and moved into Varsity Sports, these coaches were
even worse. In Varsity sports, you have to practice every day except
Sunday. God help the kid who has anything else in his life except for
that sport. And this leads me into my current rant.

My son was playing varsity lacrosse and told the coach at the
beginning of the season that he couldn't practice on Saturdays beause
he has to work. The coach was definitely not happy about this and
said that my son shouldn't have to work, he's only in high school. He
also told him that he wouldn't get much playing time if he didn't come
to EVERY practice. My son went to practice every day after school but
didn't go on Saturdays. As a result, the coach would let him play
about a total of ONE minute (in 10 second increments) during each
game. My son ended up quitting the team. I felt really bad about it
because this was a kid who absolutely LOVED playing lacrosse, had
played it since 7th grade, was captain of the team last year, and just
wanted to have fun playing his last season as a Senior.

Why are coaches such jerks?

wrote in message
oups.com...
My son is 17 and has played numerous different sports and had at
least
30 different coaches over the years that he has played sports,
starting at age 4. Through all these coaches, I would say that
there
were only 4 or 5 that weren't absolute jerks. These coaches think
they are GOD. When the kids are really young, they look up to and
even, in some cases, idolize their coaches; and I always found it
really sad when a coach tells a parent who asks why their 7 year old
is always sitting on the bench that "they have to earn their time
out
there". Give me a break. No, he doesn't have to earn his time out
there, I'm paying for him to play!!

My kids have played soccer and baseball. At this age in both sports,
all kids were supposed to get ample play time. The baseball league
actually has rules that state that all kids must get roughly the same
amount of playing time, and that every child has to have at least one
inning in the infield, though they tend to put the worst players in as
catcher.

As my son got older and moved into Varsity Sports, these coaches
were
even worse. In Varsity sports, you have to practice every day
except
Sunday. God help the kid who has anything else in his life except
for
that sport. And this leads me into my current rant.

This is part of your problem -- apparently your kid is good. The more
elite the teams are, the more committment and skill the coahes expect.
It's generally the case that the more laid back coaches are not he
ones winning championships.

My son was playing varsity lacrosse and told the coach at the
beginning of the season that he couldn't practice on Saturdays
beause
he has to work. The coach was definitely not happy about this and
said that my son shouldn't have to work, he's only in high school.
He
also told him that he wouldn't get much playing time if he didn't
come
to EVERY practice. My son went to practice every day after school
but
didn't go on Saturdays. As a result, the coach would let him play
about a total of ONE minute (in 10 second increments) during each
game. My son ended up quitting the team. I felt really bad about
it
because this was a kid who absolutely LOVED playing lacrosse, had
played it since 7th grade, was captain of the team last year, and
just
wanted to have fun playing his last season as a Senior.

Why are coaches such jerks?

This is a tough one. By the time you get to high school, athletics
becomes much more serious. People are going for scholarships -- it
really does take a lot of time and devotion to play at that level.
Sometimes you can find "recreation leagues" in your area where the
level of play, and therefore the time commitment, isn't as intense. I
understand your frustration, but I also understand the coach's point.
What message does it send to the other players who are there for every
practice if your son gets special treatment?

Bizby

"bizby40" wrote in message
. ..
My kids have played soccer and baseball. At this age in both
sports, all kids were supposed to get ample play time. The baseball
league actually has rules that state that all kids must get roughly
the same amount of playing time, and that every child has to have at
least one inning in the infield, though they tend to put the worst
players in as catcher.

Oops -- wanted to clarify -- catcher does of course become a much more
vital position later on -- it's only in the youngest ages that they do
this.

Bizby

wrote in message
oups.com...
My son is 17 and has played numerous different sports and had at least
30 different coaches over the years that he has played sports,
starting at age 4. Through all these coaches, I would say that there
were only 4 or 5 that weren't absolute jerks.

After reading this far, I am thinking that you are the jerk, not the
coaches.

If they are so horrible, why didn't you start coaching the teams?

High school and middle school coaches rarely get paid enough to make up for
the time that they give coaching. And most recreation leagues use only
volunteers.

These coaches think
they are GOD. When the kids are really young, they look up to and
even, in some cases, idolize their coaches; and I always found it
really sad when a coach tells a parent who asks why their 7 year old
is always sitting on the bench that "they have to earn their time out
there". Give me a break. No, he doesn't have to earn his time out
there, I'm paying for him to play!!

Oh geez. Get a clue, man.

As my son got older and moved into Varsity Sports, these coaches were
even worse. In Varsity sports, you have to practice every day except
Sunday. God help the kid who has anything else in his life except for
that sport. And this leads me into my current rant.

Actually, I think that the fact your a jerk leads you into the current rant.

If you want to win a game, you have practice, practice, practice.

My son was playing varsity lacrosse and told the coach at the
beginning of the season that he couldn't practice on Saturdays beause
he has to work. The coach was definitely not happy about this and
said that my son shouldn't have to work, he's only in high school. He
also told him that he wouldn't get much playing time if he didn't come
to EVERY practice. My son went to practice every day after school but
didn't go on Saturdays. As a result, the coach would let him play
about a total of ONE minute (in 10 second increments) during each
game. My son ended up quitting the team. I felt really bad about it
because this was a kid who absolutely LOVED playing lacrosse, had
played it since 7th grade, was captain of the team last year, and just
wanted to have fun playing his last season as a Senior.

Well, the coach made it absolutely clear what was required of your son to
play on the team. Your son didn't do that. The kids who came to practice on
Saturdays got rewarded.

Why are coaches such jerks?

My original comment that you are the jerk proved to be correct.

The coach said exactly what the rules were. And he stuck to it. Good job
coach.

Jeff

On Apr 11, 11:14 am, wrote:
My son is 17 and has played numerous different sports and had at least
30 different coaches over the years that he has played sports,
starting at age 4. Through all these coaches, I would say that there
were only 4 or 5 that weren't absolute jerks.

Wow. You must have had either really bad luck or you set your bar
higher than most. My boys are only 9 and 11, but they've played on a
fair number of teams already and I don't think I've ever had one that
I would call a jerk. There have been a few that really didn't know
the sport they were coaching, but they were at least trying. We've
had one coach that focused too much on winning for my taste, but I
still wouldn't call him names.

These coaches think
they are GOD. When the kids are really young, they look up to and
even, in some cases, idolize their coaches; and I always found it
really sad when a coach tells a parent who asks why their 7 year old
is always sitting on the bench that "they have to earn their time out
there". Give me a break. No, he doesn't have to earn his time out
there, I'm paying for him to play!!

For any league my boys have been in up to this point, this has not
been an issue for us. Any league we've been a part of has specific
rules regarding equal playing time for every kid. As you get more
competitive, those rules disappear, but I think that's the point of
having competitive teams. There, the focus *should* be on playing the
best players and trying to get the W. If that's not your style, then
you stay in the recreational leagues.

As my son got older and moved into Varsity Sports, these coaches were
even worse. In Varsity sports, you have to practice every day except
Sunday. God help the kid who has anything else in his life except for
that sport.

When I was in high school, there were never Saturday practices. It
seems to be much more common now and this is the one place that I do
agree with you. It's over the top. My nephews have been in high
school sports and I've been amazed at the days that they have
practice. Not just Saturdays, but Thanksgiving morning and the day
after, Christmas Eve, etc. Sure, they call them "optional" as a way
to deflect any complaints, but the kids that show up are the ones that
get the playing time. When my boys get to be that age, I'm sure they
are going to hate me when I tell them that I will not allow them to
practice on family holidays.

And this leads me into my current rant.

My son was playing varsity lacrosse and told the coach at the
beginning of the season that he couldn't practice on Saturdays beause
he has to work. The coach was definitely not happy about this and
said that my son shouldn't have to work, he's only in high school. He
also told him that he wouldn't get much playing time if he didn't come
to EVERY practice.

I think for school sponsored sports, you'll get much further working
with the school board or the athletic director (if you have one) to
set policies than you will trying to convince any single coach to make
an exception. If you think that practice is 6 days a week is too
much, then get together with some like-minded parents and try to lobby
for a policy change. However, I do agree with Jeff that if that's the
rule communicated at the beginning of the season, you have no right to
complain now. Your only hope is to try to get it changed for the
following year.

My son went to practice every day after school but
didn't go on Saturdays. As a result, the coach would let him play
about a total of ONE minute (in 10 second increments) during each
game.

OK, I do agree that playing someone in 10 second increments is a
rather childish way for the coach to try to prove his point. I have
to imagine that there were other players that couldn't make it on
Saturdays as well. Did they get the same treatment or was this the
coach's way of getting back at your son for complaining about it?

My son ended up quitting the team. I felt really bad about it
because this was a kid who absolutely LOVED playing lacrosse, had
played it since 7th grade, was captain of the team last year, and just
wanted to have fun playing his last season as a Senior.

It's too bad it had to come to this, but again, your son knew the
expectations up front.

Annie

Most coaches and I've encountered have been wonderful. They don't get any
extra pay for the all the extra effort and then they have to put up with the
parents. I am extremely nice to all my son's coaches for all their hard
work.


wrote in message
oups.com...
My son is 17 and has played numerous different sports and had at least
30 different coaches over the years that he has played sports,
starting at age 4. Through all these coaches, I would say that there
were only 4 or 5 that weren't absolute jerks. These coaches think
they are GOD. When the kids are really young, they look up to and
even, in some cases, idolize their coaches; and I always found it
really sad when a coach tells a parent who asks why their 7 year old
is always sitting on the bench that "they have to earn their time out
there". Give me a break. No, he doesn't have to earn his time out
there, I'm paying for him to play!!

As my son got older and moved into Varsity Sports, these coaches were
even worse. In Varsity sports, you have to practice every day except
Sunday. God help the kid who has anything else in his life except for
that sport. And this leads me into my current rant.

My son was playing varsity lacrosse and told the coach at the
beginning of the season that he couldn't practice on Saturdays beause
he has to work. The coach was definitely not happy about this and
said that my son shouldn't have to work, he's only in high school. He
also told him that he wouldn't get much playing time if he didn't come
to EVERY practice. My son went to practice every day after school but
didn't go on Saturdays. As a result, the coach would let him play
about a total of ONE minute (in 10 second increments) during each
game. My son ended up quitting the team. I felt really bad about it
because this was a kid who absolutely LOVED playing lacrosse, had
played it since 7th grade, was captain of the team last year, and just
wanted to have fun playing his last season as a Senior.

Why are coaches such jerks?

In article . com,
annie wrote:
On Apr 11, 11:14 am, wrote:
As my son got older and moved into Varsity Sports, these coaches were
even worse. In Varsity sports, you have to practice every day except
Sunday. God help the kid who has anything else in his life except for
that sport.

When I was in high school, there were never Saturday practices. It
seems to be much more common now and this is the one place that I do
agree with you. It's over the top. My nephews have been in high
school sports and I've been amazed at the days that they have
practice. Not just Saturdays, but Thanksgiving morning and the day
after, Christmas Eve, etc. Sure, they call them "optional" as a way
to deflect any complaints, but the kids that show up are the ones that
get the playing time. When my boys get to be that age, I'm sure they
are going to hate me when I tell them that I will not allow them to
practice on family holidays.

I think it's going the other way. When I was in high school, we
started track practice one week after cross-country ended. We
practiced during the winter break (although it was called the
Christmas break back then:-), and we were expected to do a long
run one day on the weekend from September to May. I've still
got my high school track logs that show that I worked out on
Christmas Eve. My coach griped about my going away for spring
break one year, even though I was going on a bike trip and
would be doing aerobic exercise several hours a day.

(And, I had to walk to school five miles barefoot in the
snow, uphill -- both ways. :-)

Nowadays, track practice starts in mid-January (although a few of
the dedicated kids get out there at the beginning of winter
quarter -- they're not allowed to be coached, however). Plus,
the kids do a lot less mileage than we did in the '70s (granted,
high mileage was the fad back then).

I coached high school track all through the '90s and had to put
up with most of the kids missing practice and meets for play
rehersals, music lessons (or concerts), Model UN trips, college
visits, etc. etc. etc. I think the kids are missing out on
something by not doing their chosen activities whole-heartedly.
High school is one of the last times in their life that they'll
have the freedom to put all their effort into one thing.

If a kid doesn't want to commit to practice and competitions that
are on the schedule, there are plenty of recreational leagues around.

Just my $0.02.

On Apr 11, 1:14 pm, wrote:
My son is 17 and has played numerous different sports and had at least
30 different coaches over the years that he has played sports,
starting at age 4. Through all these coaches, I would say that there
were only 4 or 5 that weren't absolute jerks. These coaches think
they are GOD. When the kids are really young, they look up to and
even, in some cases, idolize their coaches; and I always found it
really sad when a coach tells a parent who asks why their 7 year old
is always sitting on the bench that "they have to earn their time out
there". Give me a break. No, he doesn't have to earn his time out
there, I'm paying for him to play!!

As my son got older and moved into Varsity Sports, these coaches were
even worse. In Varsity sports, you have to practice every day except
Sunday. God help the kid who has anything else in his life except for
that sport. And this leads me into my current rant.

My son was playing varsity lacrosse and told the coach at the
beginning of the season that he couldn't practice on Saturdays beause
he has to work. The coach was definitely not happy about this and
said that my son shouldn't have to work, he's only in high school. He
also told him that he wouldn't get much playing time if he didn't come
to EVERY practice. My son went to practice every day after school but
didn't go on Saturdays. As a result, the coach would let him play
about a total of ONE minute (in 10 second increments) during each
game. My son ended up quitting the team. I felt really bad about it
because this was a kid who absolutely LOVED playing lacrosse, had
played it since 7th grade, was captain of the team last year, and just
wanted to have fun playing his last season as a Senior.

Why are coaches such jerks?

Some are jerks. Some are not. Kinda like the human race in
general.

My daughter swims. Her coaches in both middle school and high school
have been great. The coaches work the kids hard, but that goes with
the territory. The middle school team was a 'no-cut' team (anyone who
wanted to swim could swim) and everyone competed. In high school she
was on the JV team this year. She didn't compete as much, but everyone
got a chance in the pool, and she absolutely loved it. (She was unsure
at first about going out for the team. She'd been swimming on the
city team for a couple of years and enjoys it, but she was concerned
about the extra competativeness of the school team -- where the *team*
is what matters, not your personal best. [She tries hard, but is not
a great swimmer.] But everyone was great. The coaches were great. Her
teammates were supportive and encouraging, even the top varsity kids.

As for the time committment, again, that goes with the territory. She
had practice 6 days a week during the season (plus a couple of meets
most weeks), but 'the season' only lasted 3 months. Excused absences
(illness, holidays, family committments) weren't a problem, but if you
skipped practices without a reason, you didn't compete at the next
meet.

Still, when all is said and done, competative sports at that level
are a choice. If you want to compete, you have to put in the time. If
you aren't willing to put in the time, you do something else.

Naomi

On Apr 11, 4:05 pm, "Jeff" wrote:

If they are so horrible, why didn't you start coaching the teams?

High school and middle school coaches rarely get paid enough to make up for
the time that they give coaching.


Yeah, yeah, the poor put-upon martyrs. What you really mean is these
washed-up jocks don't have the brains or talent to do anything else.

The OP is correct. The majority of coaches fall within a common range
- middle of the road IQ types who might have otherwise ended up being
cops - another group of no-loads who like to bitch about how underpaid
they are. Coaches make a living on the misguided notion of the over-
valuation of sports. How many pricks have gotten a walk for doing
things anyone else would have been in jail for if they weren't a
college athlete? If Babe Ruth hadn't been a ballplayer, he'd have been
known around town as just another obnoxious, womanizing alcoholic
asshole. Any number of clowns in sports seem to have extreme punkass
tendencies.

If anything, college/pro team sports fosters mindless factionalism -
the us -vs- them mentality. People say they're a die-hard fan of a
particular team, generally because of an accident of geography. Yay
"us". Yeah, some of them do photo-op good works. You think they
really give a **** about their idiot fans? The world of college and
pro sports is a scam.

"Spob" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Apr 11, 4:05 pm, "Jeff" wrote:

If they are so horrible, why didn't you start coaching the teams?

High school and middle school coaches rarely get paid enough to make up
for
the time that they give coaching.


Yeah, yeah, the poor put-upon martyrs. What you really mean is these
washed-up jocks don't have the brains or talent to do anything else.

Gee, you have an attittude problem.

What I mean is that these people choose to spend their time coaching and
mentoring young men and women for some money, but not a lot. That's for high
school and middle school sports. In recreation leagues, most coaches are not
paid.

The OP is correct. The majority of coaches fall within a common range
- middle of the road IQ types who might have otherwise ended up being
cops - another group of no-loads who like to bitch about how underpaid
they are.

I don't see anyone saying coaches are underpaid. Most high-school and
middle-school coaches are teachers in the schools. So they already get a
regular salary.

Coaches make a living on the misguided notion of the over-
valuation of sports.

Sports is an important part of the development of many students.

How many pricks have gotten a walk for doing
things anyone else would have been in jail for if they weren't a
college athlete?

This has what to do with the quality of high-school coaching?

If Babe Ruth hadn't been a ballplayer, he'd have been
known around town as just another obnoxious, womanizing alcoholic
asshole.

Like you?

He would not have been known at all.

Any number of clowns in sports seem to have extreme punkass
tendencies.

So what? This has nothing to do with guiding young men and women in
high-school sports or kids in rec leagues.

If anything, college/pro team sports fosters mindless factionalism -
the us -vs- them mentality. People say they're a die-hard fan of a
particular team, generally because of an accident of geography. Yay
"us". Yeah, some of them do photo-op good works. You think they
really give a **** about their idiot fans? The world of college and
pro sports is a scam.

It's fund raising for colleges.

But, what does this have to do with coaches in rec leagues, middle- and
high-school?

Jeff