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#1
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Allowance
Just want some input here. Do those of you who have children old
enough to be getting allowance, allow your children to spend it any way that they choose? Are there limits about what they can purchase? Do any of you insist on putting some money in the bank? How about donating a portion of their money? Thanks in advance! |
#2
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In article .com,
"MsLiz" wrote: Just want some input here. Do those of you who have children old enough to be getting allowance, allow your children to spend it any way that they choose? Are there limits about what they can purchase? Do any of you insist on putting some money in the bank? How about donating a portion of their money? Thanks in advance! I did not put limits on my kids' use of their allowance -- I figured it was THEIR money. Looking back, however, I'm not sure it was the right choice. My kids' money management skills bite. I had one friend who gave her kids their allowance in 3 parts: one part went into long term savings, and could only be used when a certain minimum amount had been saved, and was to be used for something big. One part went into a fund that was for donating to worthy causes, and the kids sat down about once every 3 months to decide where to give the money. One part was to use however they wanted to use it. Her kids seem to be developing better money management skills. On the other hand, this is only anecdotal, and my kids aren't old enough to know for sure about how this will work in the REAL long run. -- Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care |
#3
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MsLiz wrote: Just want some input here. Do those of you who have children old enough to be getting allowance, allow your children to spend it any way that they choose? Are there limits about what they can purchase? Do any of you insist on putting some money in the bank? How about donating a portion of their money? We do have some limits on how it can be spent - my stepson is not allowed to buy candy when it can impact the rest of us. So, not at movies, and not big bags of it that he keeps around. Other than that, there are no limits to how he can spend it. Cathy Weeks |
#4
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On Wed, 10 Aug 2005 19:17:24 GMT, dragonlady
wrote: I did not put limits on my kids' use of their allowance -- I figured it was THEIR money. Looking back, however, I'm not sure it was the right choice. My kids' money management skills bite. I didn't with my ds, either and in hindsight, wish I had. He has a very hard time managing his finances. I had one friend who gave her kids their allowance in 3 parts: one part went into long term savings, and could only be used when a certain minimum amount had been saved, and was to be used for something big. One part went into a fund that was for donating to worthy causes, and the kids sat down about once every 3 months to decide where to give the money. One part was to use however they wanted to use it. I think the above is something I'll try with my last 2. Can't hurt, compared to the first one ;-) Nan |
#5
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In article ,
dragonlady wrote: In article .com, "MsLiz" wrote: Just want some input here. Do those of you who have children old enough to be getting allowance, allow your children to spend it any way that they choose? Are there limits about what they can purchase? Do any of you insist on putting some money in the bank? How about donating a portion of their money? Thanks in advance! I did not put limits on my kids' use of their allowance -- I figured it was THEIR money. Looking back, however, I'm not sure it was the right choice. My kids' money management skills bite. I had one friend who gave her kids their allowance in 3 parts: one part went into long term savings, and could only be used when a certain minimum amount had been saved, and was to be used for something big. One part went into a fund that was for donating to worthy causes, and the kids sat down about once every 3 months to decide where to give the money. One part was to use however they wanted to use it. This is more or less what I do with my kids, except that they usually donate their "donating" money weekly at Sunday school. We also have a category for gifts, where they save money explicitly for buying gifts for family members (for birthdays, Chanukah, etc.) They enjoy having money to spend that way and giving gifts that they bought with their own money. (They still make a lot of gifts too.) I think that they do seem to be developing decent money management skills. One thing I have done is after a few years of my dictating their "budget", I have let them set up their allowance breakdown however they chose. For the most part, they have stuck with something similar to the arrangement that we started with, but instead of me forcing them, it is by their own choice. --Robyn |
#6
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On 10 Aug 2005 11:44:29 -0700, "MsLiz" wrote:
Just want some input here. Do those of you who have children old enough to be getting allowance, allow your children to spend it any way that they choose? Are there limits about what they can purchase? Do any of you insist on putting some money in the bank? How about donating a portion of their money? Thanks in advance! I believe in keeping allowances as children's discretionary money to be spent in whatever way they choose to spend it. As they got older, I gave them a budget of money that they could spend on school supplies with some extra for discretionary spending. It was their responsibility to budget it in ways that helped them to have what they needed for school and extras they wanted for themselves. We generally discussed the amount (started with school lunches and bus fare when they were old enough to take the city bus to school, etc.). My ds often walked and saved his bus fare for buying baseball cards. My dd often packed her own lunch from home and saved that money for extra accessories, junk jewelry, toys or music. This started when they were between 8 and 10. When they were teens, they also got a clothing budget and they were allowed to keep any additional funds they saved from that to spend as they liked. As a consequence of this, both my kids were thrifty shoppers and savers and had no trouble when they went out on their own in terms of staying within their incomes. As for requiring charitable donations, we did community service work instead. My son coached chess and soccer for free with the park district and the schools, my daughter did many different service projects with girl scouts. While it's good to give money to charity, I think actual work for the community makes more of an impression on kids and both of mine donate on a regular basis to charities of their choice now that they are older and have more income. In terms of limits on what they could purchase, we never had any, nor did we need them. The kids learned early that some things were not worth the money they spent (they bought toys that broke quickly or that bored them after a short time and found out that advertisements were not a way to know that things were great to purchase) and they never were into anything that I found offensive. It they had been into violent video games or something, I would have discussed my objections with them, but it was their money. -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits |
#7
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In article ,
toto wrote: As for requiring charitable donations, we did community service work instead. My son coached chess and soccer for free with the park district and the schools, my daughter did many different service projects with girl scouts. While it's good to give money to charity, I think actual work for the community makes more of an impression on kids and both of mine donate on a regular basis to charities of their choice now that they are older and have more income. What has been interesting to me is to listen to the discussions in the family that requires charitable contributions. The kids and parents talk about the different organizations and what they do, and research which ones spend more (or less) money on fundraising and administrative expenses. By the time these kids reached their teen years, they were much more savy about non-profits than most kids are. The parents don't limit what organizations the kids give to -- though it would have been interesting to see if the kids had selected an organization that the parents found totally unacceptable! The family ALSO donates time (both parents are quite active, and as a result so are the kids). For me, at least, watching this family use this as a tool to teach about charitable giving has been fascinating. If I'd seen the example when my own kids were younger, I think it would have made a difference. Only one of these kids is earning her own money at this point, doing some babysitting. She sets 10% of her income aside to add to her charitable donations. -- Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care |
#8
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toto wrote:
On 10 Aug 2005 11:44:29 -0700, "MsLiz" wrote: Just want some input here. Do those of you who have children old enough to be getting allowance, allow your children to spend it any way that they choose? Are there limits about what they can purchase? Do any of you insist on putting some money in the bank? How about donating a portion of their money? Thanks in advance! I believe in keeping allowances as children's discretionary money to be spent in whatever way they choose to spend it. As they got older, I gave them a budget of money that they could spend on school supplies with some extra for discretionary spending. It was their responsibility to budget it in ways that helped them to have what they needed for school and extras they wanted for themselves. We generally discussed the amount (started with school lunches and bus fare when they were old enough to take the city bus to school, etc.). My ds often walked and saved his bus fare for buying baseball cards. My dd often packed her own lunch from home and saved that money for extra accessories, junk jewelry, toys or music. This started when they were between 8 and 10. When I was in school, I walked to school. It was only about 3 blocks and while riding the street car would have been possible, it would have actually meant that I would walk farther in addition to costing more money. Whenever my kids have ridden a bus, it has been a school bus and they didn't cost anything to ride so that even if it had been safe to walk, they wouldn't save any money. Basically I am also against school lunch being included in the allowance. I always felt that I would rather provide either the lunch or the money to eat lunch (whichever they wanted me to do) as part of my job as a parent and that it shouldn't be part of the discretionary money. I did have one child who refused to eat lunch in hs - it didn't matter whether I packed her a lunch or if I gave her money, she refused to eat (and she does not have and never has had an eating problem except for being a little bit picky). I also felt that I should be buying school supplies. Of course I lived in a place where the kids could not safely walk to the stores to buy anything, and I hate to shop, so I did very little of it. When they were teens, they also got a clothing budget and they were allowed to keep any additional funds they saved from that to spend as they liked. As a consequence of this, both my kids were thrifty shoppers and savers and had no trouble when they went out on their own in terms of staying within their incomes. I think it is a mistake to attribute a child coming to be a thrifty shopper and handling money well with allowance handling by the parents. Ditto the parent blaming themself for not requiring whatever it might seem to be that would cause a child to be a spendthrift. It might help, but as I said before, I think that thrift and planning is hardwired into the kid. As for requiring charitable donations, we did community service work instead. My son coached chess and soccer for free with the park district and the schools, my daughter did many different service projects with girl scouts. While it's good to give money to charity, I think actual work for the community makes more of an impression on kids and both of mine donate on a regular basis to charities of their choice now that they are older and have more income. My own allowance as a kid was based on my expenses. I had girl scout dues, and a Sunday school envelope and other expenses and my allowance was just enough to cover these things plus maybe 25 cents extra.. These were things that I *had* to pay. (Although I guess I could have stiffed the Sunday School and no one would have known, but it never occurred to me.) I never had much more than enough to buy a turkish taffy on the way home from school sometimes. I didn't think of my allowance as anything that I really had any control over. So I never saved for anything specific that I can remember. In terms of limits on what they could purchase, we never had any, nor did we need them. The kids learned early that some things were not worth the money they spent (they bought toys that broke quickly or that bored them after a short time and found out that advertisements were not a way to know that things were great to purchase) and they never were into anything that I found offensive. It they had been into violent video games or something, I would have discussed my objections with them, but it was their money. I do agree that if the child gets an allowance, then whatever they buy with it should be up to them, at least when they are older. At the beginning, they do need some guidance, but with the goal of increasing independence. Even if the child makes bad choices. I will say that when my dh found beer in the trunk of ds's car when ds was about 17, he confiscated it, and told him he could have it back when he could drink legally. grandma Rosalie |
#9
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MsLiz wrote:
Just want some input here. Do those of you who have children old enough to be getting allowance, allow your children to spend it any way that they choose? Are there limits about what they can purchase? Do any of you insist on putting some money in the bank? How about donating a portion of their money? We're not very consistent about allowances, but when we do them, the expectation is 30 percent for spend (few restrictions), 30 percent short term savings (to get something bigger that they want), 30 percent long term savings (college) and 10 percent charity. Best wishes, Ericka |
#10
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In article ,
Rosalie B. wrote: Basically I am also against school lunch being included in the allowance. I always felt that I would rather provide either the lunch or the money to eat lunch (whichever they wanted me to do) as part of my job as a parent and that it shouldn't be part of the discretionary money. I don't see a problem with a parent making bought lunches part of the child's discretionary spending. Bought lunches generally (depending on subsidies, not always!) cost more than bringing lunch from home. I feel it is my job as a parent to provide my child with lunch, but not necessarily spring for whatever he wants for lunch. If he wants a more expensive lunch from the school cafeteria than what I can make him reasonably at home, I would expect him to pay the extra. I would probably make a deal where I would kick in $X per day that he didn't bring lunch from home, if he let me know in advance so I didn't buy extra cold cuts, for example, that would go bad if they weren't used. (I am putting this as a hypothetical right now because my oldest won't be attending a school with a cafeteria for another 2 years.) I also felt that I should be buying school supplies. Of course I lived in a place where the kids could not safely walk to the stores to buy anything, and I hate to shop, so I did very little of it. Again, I spring for that they need, they pay for what the "want" above and beyond that. If their needs can be met by a $10 binder and they want a $20 one -- I'd make them pay at least part of the extra cost. As a consequence of this, both my kids were thrifty shoppers and savers and had no trouble when they went out on their own in terms of staying within their incomes. I think it is a mistake to attribute a child coming to be a thrifty shopper and handling money well with allowance handling by the parents. Ditto the parent blaming themself for not requiring whatever it might seem to be that would cause a child to be a spendthrift. It might help, but as I said before, I think that thrift and planning is hardwired into the kid. Nature versus nurture is an age-old debate, but I'm pretty sure there are aspects of both involved. I've seen people change from one extreme to the other as adults, so clearly it is not all hardwired. I do agree that if the child gets an allowance, then whatever they buy with it should be up to them, at least when they are older. At the beginning, they do need some guidance, but with the goal of increasing independence. Even if the child makes bad choices. I will say that when my dh found beer in the trunk of ds's car when ds was about 17, he confiscated it, and told him he could have it back when he could drink legally. Must've been majorly skunked by then ;-) I think it's reasonable to have some limits on what may come into the house -- if you have a philosophical objection to toy guns, for example, your kid doesn't suddenly get the right to buy one because he has his own money. It is his money to do with as he pleases, *within* the bounds of house rules (and the law). I also sometimes restrict when my kids may buy candy, or at least when they are allowed to eat candy they buy, even if they buy it with their own money. --Robyn |
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