Doula Dilemma

So... I waited until last second to realize that I'm running out of time.
Seeing as I'm still a happily single mom, and due in a month, I just wasn't
really thinking too much about the future.
I have decided that I'm fairly confident that I do NOT want N around at all,
especially in the hospital. At this point in time, and I'm positive in the
future, I do not want him in the hospital when the time comes, nor do I want
him as some unexpected visitor. That's his too bad, so sad.
My plan is that my mom will take the kids. She's really my only real and
guaranteed option. I've decided that although friends have all offered to
help with whatever, I do not want to rely on a friend. Especially since
babies CAN come at the most inconvenient times, I just don't feel
comfortable relying on a friend.
I then got thinking that with my mom taking all the kids, I really don't
want to sit in the hospital all by myself. And again, I really don't want
to rely only on a friend... Friends, I've found, can be a little MIA in a
pinch, and I don't want to risk that.

So... I looked into a doula for some kind of support/coach type thing... And
so I'm not sitting around like some pathetic loser by myself in the hospital
to have a baby all by myself... I looked into doulas and originally found
they're far too expensive for me to manage. They seem to average around
$500 or so, give or take, and coming up with that kind of money for one or
two days is not something I could do, even if I wanted to. I ended up
finding some contacts for volunteer doulas. The ones I found are all free.
Some are either in training and volunteer for births for their training,
some are already certified and volunteer for very low income single mothers
or couples with very low income. I, fortunately, fall into the category for
the income and single mom part, and I don't really mind if a doula is
certified or if they're still in training.

I've come into a problem though. I've always been so indecisive, it seems,
and this is one thing N has always told me right from the start. For a
number of things, I can't seem to make up my mind and come up with a
decision... I ended up emailing all the doulas that volunteer from the list
that I was given from a local doula association. I did that a couple nights
ago and I had a number of replies. I think there was maybe 5-6 of the
volunteer ones, and all said they would be more than happy to assist me, and
only one said she was not able, but she passed on my name and all that to a
friend of hers, and this friend called me yesterday.
I also had another lady call me today. And I still need to go through my
emails and all that as I've been fairly busy the last couple days
(especially with DD1's dental surgery and all that)

Now here's my big problem... How do you decide on a doula? They're all free
of charge, running on a volunteer basis. 2 of them said they would be more
than happy, but one has another client due Feb 3, IIRC, and said if I picked
her, it might be a good idea to have a backup, and another one has a client
due Feb 13, but she has her own backup if needed. The lady that called me
today said she has no other clients due around my EDD, which is Feb 7.
I'm finding that I'm getting fairly nervous about all of this and making
decisions. Something so simple, yet it isn't for me. How do you decide on
one? Do you hold "interviews" and pick which one you like best out of them
all? Eenie, meenie, miney, mo? How do you turn down offers?
All I'm really concerned about is NOT being left all alone, someone that is
supportive of breastfeeding (which they all seem to be anyways), one that
and just be there to offer support and advice, and even translate any
possible medical or technical terms into simple English. I'm also kind of
feeling that I might be more comfortable with a doula that is a bit younger
and closer to my age. The one I talked to (with a current client due days
before me) sounds very young. She has young children - I think 3 that are
between about 11 months and 4 years) and the other lady I talked to sounds a
lot older... She has 5 grandchildren between 10 and 15 years old but she's
available and has no clients due any time around me.
Another sorta issue is that I know for a fact that my OB is not very
doula-friendly. I recently found out that my OB had a bad experience once
involving a doula, and now her (my OB) opinion is basically, "Do you want a
doctor or do you want a doula?" Quite frankly, it comes down to I do not
want to sit alone in the hospital LOL
Again, I just keep thinking about how to pick one... and keep track of all
of the replies and phone calls I get and make. Trying to remember who is
who and all that. I also kind of feel bad if someone comes over here to
meet with me before I actually pick just one (I realize I can't have 20485
doulas just because they offer and say they're available LOL) for an
interview and to get to know her and talk and then not use her. Like the
time and effort wasting, and I almost feel like I'd be a jerk for not
picking them because they've put in effort and then what? I don't like them
or something??

I know this is rediculous and very stupid, but I'm having some real problems
with it. I also do feel that I should get back to people within the next
couple days at the most and not leave them hanging and hanging... and not
get back to anyone but then make a last second phone call to hope someone
can maybe come last second without even meeting them??

So does anyone have any advice? I see this is just stupid, but it's just
one of those things that I don't think I've ever been real good at and seem
to be having some issues with. I'm also running out of time!