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#21
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Spoiling a baby/attachment parenting
I don't think that you can spoil really young babies. I know that I
personally intend to lavish mine with TONS of attention! ;-) I guess as they get closer to a year, they can start to learn how to be manipulative. I say just deal with problems as they arise. At least, that's what I plan to do. It probably also comes down to personal preference, and choosing your battles. If you don't really care if the kid sleeps in the crib or not, then no one else should care (and don't worry about what they say). |
#22
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Spoiling a baby/attachment parenting
On Mon, 24 May 2004 12:21:35 GMT, "Jill" wrote:
Opinions? Am I doing her harm, spoiling her, creating a monster? IMO--No! It's my very nature to parent her this way, my instinct. To me, it's just being sensitive to her needs. And I think her needs are acceptable, normal, and fine! What do people think she supposed to do, NOT want to be held? But anyway, MIL/FIL didn't raise their kids in this style and even my parents tell me we need to put her down and get her used to it. My sister told me much the same thing, and my mother also. Frankly I suspect they may have chosen that parenting style because they didn't have the same resources I do when raising my DS. My sister, with her first baby, was stuck out in AZ with only her DH -- and I think she may have had to resume working very shortly thereafter, though I'm not sure. But not much of a network there, and probably not a cosleeping-positive DH -- so she just had to deal. Mom was divorced when I was very young (possibly before my birth, I'm not clear on the time), and basically had to raise my sister (starting at 2.5 years) and me as a single, working mother. Again, probably just had to deal with things, may have made it easier to organize and manage. My MIL was the exact opposite, which surprised me -- she's so vehemently conformist, I didn't expect to be encouraged to breastfeed lengthily or cosleep from her. I'm not sure of her resource situation, exactly, except that she came from a very large family and had a large family (by modern standards). I'm inclined to say, follow your instincts and listen to your baby's needs. You're not going to spoil a baby so young, period. When you're ready to stop breastfeeding, well, you will know (for my part I feel a lot like a mama-cat ready to wean, minus the paw-slapping -- but growly, though still willing to indulge if truly needful). Likewise, with cosleeping (we started actively phasing it out when he start kicking a lot, and purposefully). I think it's better to take parenting as a gentle, subtle shaping of a baby into a civilized person. ----== Posted via Newsfeed.Com - Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==---- http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! 100,000 Newsgroups ---= 19 East/West-Coast Specialized Servers - Total Privacy via Encryption =--- |
#23
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Spoiling a baby/attachment parenting
"Chotii" wrote in message
news "A&G&K" wrote in message ... You'll get sick of repeating yourself, but trust your own instincts ... just because your parents did something doesn't mean it was right ... alternatively you might need to invest in a pair of my patented "crap filters" ... they are free, they tune out all unwanted advice and come with the phrase "thanks for telling me" and walking away Alternatively, there is the slightly more blunt approach: "You raised your child, now I am raising mine. I am the one who lives with her, and I choose what behaviors I am willing to accept. In return, I will have to live with the consequences. Thank you for your concern." Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Memorize it. Eventually they'll get disgusted and shut up, but at least they'll shut up. --angela Good answer, Angela!! -- M~Elizabeth To thine own self be true |
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