Review: The House of the Dead (*)

THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD
A film review by Steve Rhodes

Copyright 2003 Steve Rhodes

RATING (0 TO ****): *


In Uwe Boll's THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD, there's going to be the year's biggest
rave and on an island no less, so the teenagers have to flock there. What
they don't know is that the island is crawling with the living dead, a.k.a.,
zombies. As moviegoers, you are going to have a real quandary before you.
Do you go for what will be an obviously bad film like THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD
or do you try for something better by getting your gore kicks at the remake
of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, which is playing at the next screen in most
multiplexes now. Worry no more. They are both equally bad, and what they
mainly kill is your time.



On the other hand, if you want a picture so bad that you can have a few
opportunities to laugh at it in derision, THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD is the
better choice of these two atrocious alternatives.



"Who the hell were those things," inquires one girl, probably soon to be
chopped liver. "Why me?" ask one of the expendable boys. You don't get
much more generic than THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD. You'll feel pretty dead after
you've sat through this turkey. If you wait for video, put your finger on
the fast-forward button and never let go.



THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD runs 1:30. The film is rated R for "pervasive strong
violence/gore, language and some nudity" and would be acceptable for most
teenagers.



The film is playing in limited release now in the United States. In the
Silicon Valley, it is showing at the AMC and the Century theaters.



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