help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

wrote in message
et...
Tiffany wrote:
wrote in message

My point is don't read them. This is the internet and anyone can say
what they want. All we can do is not read it. OR if you do read it,
take it with a grain of salt. I really don't understand why you let
the written words of people you don't know and will never know hurt
you. Take the useful posts with you, let the unuseful ones go.

to tell you the truth, the sane part of me thought of that right after I
hit
send, lol.

I sometimes have to speak out for my own mental health but after that I
was
going back through and seeing how Dennis and Lisa ignored Tom's vicious
reply to my original message and how he even started a whole new thread
that
was even more vicious but they replied to his one positive post and either
they are deeply in denial, co-conspirators with him in some unconscious
way,
or they were just trying to accentuate the positive. I have more faith in
Dennis than in Lisa based on history but the bottom line is:

take the good, leave the bad.




Exactly, just like in REAL life.

wrote in message
et...
Tiffany wrote:
wrote in message


take the good, leave the bad.


EXACTLY! It's just not worth the emotional effort to deal with the bad
stuff on usenet. I love my killfile!

Take what you need, leave what you don't.

you'll find that is what most of us do, and why we don't always respond to
posts.

hugs,
*bri

wrote in message
et...
Tiffany wrote:
wrote in message
news:KDDSa.107753$N7.14512@sccrnsc03...
Lisa aka Surfer wrote:

Well done, Tom. You have a bigger heart than I, it was clear from
the very first reply from Betsy that she wasn't going to get the
point. Yet you still took the time. Man oh man you're doing well
these days!!!!

Lisa

Actually, Lisa, you and Tom are as emotionally abusive to me on here
as always and I won't put up with it from you either. And I was
able to resolve things with Betsy as I apologized for my sarcasm and
she did get through to me in email. Because she did truly care for
me and my son's best interests. You never have. You have always
been catty and superior and very hurtful to me and I will not allow
you to continue to do that to me here.





L, you need to let go of this 'being abused online' stuff. No one can
hurt you unless you let them, online. Don't read their posts for god
sake.

Hey, don't take the responsibility off of Lisa and put it on me Tiffany.
Lisa has a very long history of being cruel to me in her posts to me. She
doesn't need to waste bandwidth targeting me when I am at my most
vulnerable
with hurtful remarks but she does it all the time. There is no difference
between if she said it to me online or in the mail or on the telephone or
to
my face, words hurt. Get in her face, not mine.



Would you like some cheese with that WhiNE

wrote in message news:GHISa.96500$GL4.27021@rwcrnsc53...
Rolly The Pervert wrote:
wrote in message
news:KDDSa.107753$N7.14512@sccrnsc03...
Lisa aka Surfer wrote:

Well done, Tom. You have a bigger heart than I, it was clear from
the very first reply from Betsy that she wasn't going to get the
point. Yet you still took the time. Man oh man you're doing well
these days!!!!

Lisa

Actually, Lisa, you and Tom are as emotionally abusiveslap

And what you gonna do about it?



**** off bitch

So, calling me a bitch is ok with the group? It's my fault for failing to
ignore him? Tell me why it isn't his fault.



You are a bitch, and a lying netk00k kunt.

More then that, your a lonney maroon. Go take your meds looney lorain.

wrote in message newsXJSa.96765$OZ2.20328@rwcrnsc54...
Tiffany wrote:

Err... here we go again. To me, no name calling is ok but I can't
control what Roy types or what Paul types nor would I want to. There
is no one to be at fault here. You have name called also though,
maybe not using b---- but you called Paul a women abuser which is
pretty harsh.

um, he IS a woman abuser, Paul Fritz abuses me here regularly, duh
Tiffany.
More so then being a bitch as most women confess to
being a bitch.

So, I abuse Paul Fritz worse than he abuses me? ok, you can just stop
"helping" me now, thank you. I've had enough mind games for awhile.

You are dealing with alot right now.... why make it
worse by dealing with negative posts?

good point.



Hey ****or, what you never got , is just cause most men who walk through
here don't like your pathetic co-dependant ass, doesn't mean we are woman
abusers.

I'll email Maureen, maybe she want's to slap you around online too this week

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
newsXJSa.96765$OZ2.20328@rwcrnsc54...
Tiffany wrote:

Err... here we go again. To me, no name calling is ok but I can't
control what Roy types or what Paul types nor would I want to. There
is no one to be at fault here. You have name called also though,
maybe not using b---- but you called Paul a women abuser which is
pretty harsh.

um, he IS a woman abuser, Paul Fritz abuses me here regularly, duh
Tiffany.
More so then being a bitch as most women confess to
being a bitch.

So, I abuse Paul Fritz worse than he abuses me? ok, you can just stop
"helping" me now, thank you. I've had enough mind games for awhile.

You are dealing with alot right now.... why make it
worse by dealing with negative posts?

good point.




Why is one need to be worse then the other? Why does there have to be
fault?
I didn't say you abuse Paul, but again, you are only reading what you
want.
Why not answer my question on why you let this become abuse? Why do you
read
posts or take it to heart when you don't even know these people?



mark my words, that if you insist she take responsibility for her own posts,
you'll get lumped in with me, Maureen, lisa and many more who've been here
for years.

Looney Lorain doesn't do the responsibility thang.

wrote in message
et...
Tiffany wrote:
wrote in message

My point is don't read them. This is the internet and anyone can say
what they want. All we can do is not read it. OR if you do read it,
take it with a grain of salt. I really don't understand why you let
the written words of people you don't know and will never know hurt
you. Take the useful posts with you, let the unuseful ones go.

to tell you the truth, the sane part of me thought of that right after I
hit
send, lol.


Hashahahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahaha

too little, too late, as usual.

hahaha

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 21 Jul 2003 09:42:15 -0400, "Rolly The Pervert"
wasted bandwidth once again by posting:


wrote in message
news:QPISa.96297$OZ2.20417@rwcrnsc54...
Rolly The Pervert wrote:
wrote in message
news:KDDSa.107753$N7.14512@sccrnsc03...
Actually, Lisa, you and Tom are as emotionally abusiveslap

And what you gonna do about it?



**** off bitch



Tom,

you are simply proving my point as what you just did is emotional
abuse!

Shut up bitch.

I thought you were in recovery?

hahahahaha bitch.

And every techie knows that databasix is the last resort of the coward

No bitch, meow, YHBT.

You ain;t a techie either ****or, just cause you got a free email addy
lol.

Take credit for anyone elses work lately fraud?

usenet poster who needs to hide behind a terms of service agreement
that
allows for anything goes. Better watch it though, there are still laws
to
follow...

hahaha, hahahaha looney lorian, you just bought off more then you can
chew.
again.

Cal the cops bitch. Email databasix ****. Your just ****ed you can't
netkkkop me.

Looney Lorain, your new friends will turn on you to, just like your old
ones
did, cause you are a backstabbing ****, whos ****ing up their kids life.

Shame on you ****.

Geez... this is really just disgusting. Not for nothin' but don't you
have something better to do than this???

'Kate


kate, you've admited outside this group you know she's nuts.
She's now claiming I abuse my kids physicaly.

You kate, are only going after me, because you know what type of online
asskicking she's about to get.

On Sat, 19 Jul 2003 01:38:59 GMT, "CME"
wrote:


wrote in message news:W7PRa.88994$H17.27268@sccrnsc02...
CME wrote:
wrote in message
news:CurRa.80070$ye4.60298@sccrnsc01...

If it was me, and of course this is the only way I can give you
advice on this issue... and I DO know where you're coming from, in
many ways. But if it was me, I'd try the Tough Love strategy. If he
STEALS your car, you call the Police. If he disrespects you and your
rules, kick him out. I remember what it was like to be 16 and your
son is displaying similar behaviours. My parents gave me a choice.
Either go to school (I dropped out in Gr.11), get a job, or get out.
Of course, being the stubborn fool-headed girl I was, I got out. I
packed some bags and went to stay with friends. It was the best
thing my parents EVER did for me. ****ing wake-up call, let me tell
you. Of course I got into some trouble, I even moved to a different
city for awhile...

I'm so scared that he will wind up on the streets out there, he is not
able
to cut it with his peers now, and we just live in a working class
neighborhood, he'd be ripped to shreds out there on the streets, he'd wind
up on drugs, fodder for sexual predators, oh, god.


And you know what? That's the risk you take, but what you need to do is
make him realize that if he's to live in your house, he needs to respect
your rules and really the choice is his. If he leaves or you kick him out,
it was his choice, and if he does wind up on the street, then you make him
aware that he can always come home.

but you know what? I came back, and not only have
I grown up, I understand my parents and I would have done the same
thing! And I will if my sons ever pull the **** that *I* did. You
are NOT doing him any favours by catering to him. When he leaves
your home as an adult, he won't have anyone to cater to him,

sure he will, there are lots of women just like me! (bowing my head in
shame, it all comes so clear to me now. the abusive guys i've loved, they
abused me because they needed me to take care of them...)

and
he'll grow up thinking the world owes him a favour. Lorian, please,
please stand up for yourself. Do not let him disrespect you like
that, YOU deserve better. Period.

well, i hear you but i can't feel it inside but for today i will take your
word for it. maybe one day soon i will believe it about myself again. i
am
trying very hard to pretend and to take steps to stand up for myself but i
am always pretending, so many people treat me like i don't matter, it's
not
just my son. it's the police, the hospital staff, the social services
system, but then there are those rare people who see the glow in me and
the
light clicks back on...

Just a thought, but have you ever considered that the way people see you, is
a reflection of how you see yourself? How can you expect others to see your
value, if YOU do not even see it? I'm a big believer in self-image and
directing my own life... if you believe you're worthless etc, then why would
others think differently? Not letting people walk all over you is part of
that too, it's about self-respect. I've come a looooong way baby, because I
*used* to see my value through others, namely men, and although I thought I
was a good person, there was always that little voice inside of me, you know
the one, the one that says you're nothing (well it was actually my mother in
my head, but that's another story. lol) Well it's hard work to break that
cycle, and therapy helped me see all these things (well that and just basic
University classes). So if *I* can do it, so can you Lorian.

Christine

This is what happens when I come in late on a thread. I keep reading,
thinking of things that I would like to say, and then finding that
people like Christine and Brianne have already said them better than I
would have done.

Right on, Christine.

I'll still write, Lorian, after I've read the whole thread....

Cele

On Sat, 19 Jul 2003 18:55:57 GMT, "CME"
wrote:

Yeah, mine was probably when I left home and realized how bloody naive I
was. The only thing that kept me alive was that I had brains, and I learned
fast. I even remember spending a cold, hungry night outside walking the
piers of Victoria because I had no where else to go. What a rough
awakening. But my truly defining moment didn't come until later, when I
became pregnant. I knew I was responsible for someone other than myself,
and I needed to get my **** together. I'm proud that I've made it.

Hey, did you grow up in Victoria??? When did you leave? I went to Vic
High.....

I wonder if we know each other? Or do I vaguely remember that you're
younger than I am?

Cele