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#31
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how to file for child support
teachrmama wrote: Just because it makes sense, Spidey, does not mean that that's the way it will happen. I can imagine a lawyer up there pleading that girls need their mothers during the difficulties of adolescence, and that mom has worked through the difficulties she was experiencing after the birth of her second child. She is now ready, willing, and able to be the mother that teenage girls need and deserve. A few tears from mom, regretting past decisions, "Oh, no, Your Honor, I don't hold their father in the least bit reponsible for driving me away because he didn't understand post partum depression. Why didn't I fight for my girls? I was so depressed that I was sure he would win in court. I was too weak to stand up for myself. The intervening years? Well, Sir, it has taken a lot of hard work on my part to get to where I am today. But now I am ready." quavering smile on tear-streaked face You have not experienced unfairness in court, so it is easy for you to encourage this man to take the chance. Those who *have* experienced unfairness are not so sure it is a good idea. I fully understand thats not the way it always happen. However that said.. From the info he has given, I really can't see a reason why he would lose custody. Remember it's been over 6 yrs... we're not talking like 1 or 2. And if what the OP states is true, the only contact she has had with them is a few Phone Calls here and there... Bottom line the courts are out to protect the Childrens Best Interests. The mother is a parent the children truely don't know... A stranger almost... The only possible way I could see the mother gaining custody is if she could prove he has been an unfit father to his children.. Malnourishment... ext.. stuff like that. I cannot imagine a Judge in their right mind after 6 years all of the sudden deciding to award custody to the mother.. Maybe.. and only maybe.. if the children expressed interest in wanting to go... but beyond that.. I just have trouble with it. SpiderHam77 |
#32
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how to file for child support
"SpiderHam77" wrote in message oups.com... teachrmama wrote: Just because it makes sense, Spidey, does not mean that that's the way it will happen. I can imagine a lawyer up there pleading that girls need their mothers during the difficulties of adolescence, and that mom has worked through the difficulties she was experiencing after the birth of her second child. She is now ready, willing, and able to be the mother that teenage girls need and deserve. A few tears from mom, regretting past decisions, "Oh, no, Your Honor, I don't hold their father in the least bit reponsible for driving me away because he didn't understand post partum depression. Why didn't I fight for my girls? I was so depressed that I was sure he would win in court. I was too weak to stand up for myself. The intervening years? Well, Sir, it has taken a lot of hard work on my part to get to where I am today. But now I am ready." quavering smile on tear-streaked face You have not experienced unfairness in court, so it is easy for you to encourage this man to take the chance. Those who *have* experienced unfairness are not so sure it is a good idea. I fully understand thats not the way it always happen. However that said.. From the info he has given, I really can't see a reason why he would lose custody. Remember it's been over 6 yrs... we're not talking like 1 or 2. And if what the OP states is true, the only contact she has had with them is a few Phone Calls here and there... Bottom line the courts are out to protect the Childrens Best Interests. The mother is a parent the children truely don't know... A stranger almost... The only possible way I could see the mother gaining custody is if she could prove he has been an unfit father to his children.. Malnourishment... ext.. stuff like that. I cannot imagine a Judge in their right mind after 6 years all of the sudden deciding to award custody to the mother.. Maybe.. and only maybe.. if the children expressed interest in wanting to go... but beyond that.. I just have trouble with it. Would you be willing to take that chance for a few dollars of child support? Like it or not, courts are not predisposed toward single dads. If mom has remarried and has a "stable, two-parent household" and dad is still single, it would definitely tip things her direction. (Which isn't stated anywhere, but is a possibility) I think the dad would do well to err on the side of caution as far as court dealings go. He might also try for a reintroduction of mom into the kids lives before he tries for child support. |
#33
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how to file for child support
"teachrmama" wrote in message ... "SpiderHam77" wrote in message oups.com... teachrmama wrote: Just because it makes sense, Spidey, does not mean that that's the way it will happen. I can imagine a lawyer up there pleading that girls need their mothers during the difficulties of adolescence, and that mom has worked through the difficulties she was experiencing after the birth of her second child. She is now ready, willing, and able to be the mother that teenage girls need and deserve. A few tears from mom, regretting past decisions, "Oh, no, Your Honor, I don't hold their father in the least bit reponsible for driving me away because he didn't understand post partum depression. Why didn't I fight for my girls? I was so depressed that I was sure he would win in court. I was too weak to stand up for myself. The intervening years? Well, Sir, it has taken a lot of hard work on my part to get to where I am today. But now I am ready." quavering smile on tear-streaked face You have not experienced unfairness in court, so it is easy for you to encourage this man to take the chance. Those who *have* experienced unfairness are not so sure it is a good idea. I fully understand thats not the way it always happen. However that said.. From the info he has given, I really can't see a reason why he would lose custody. Remember it's been over 6 yrs... we're not talking like 1 or 2. And if what the OP states is true, the only contact she has had with them is a few Phone Calls here and there... Bottom line the courts are out to protect the Childrens Best Interests. The mother is a parent the children truely don't know... A stranger almost... The only possible way I could see the mother gaining custody is if she could prove he has been an unfit father to his children.. Malnourishment... ext.. stuff like that. I cannot imagine a Judge in their right mind after 6 years all of the sudden deciding to award custody to the mother.. Maybe.. and only maybe.. if the children expressed interest in wanting to go... but beyond that.. I just have trouble with it. Would you be willing to take that chance for a few dollars of child support? That has been my point all along....."spidey" just chooses to ignore it. Would you risk $100 on a 95% chance of winning $5???? Like it or not, courts are not predisposed toward single dads. If mom has remarried and has a "stable, two-parent household" and dad is still single, it would definitely tip things her direction. (Which isn't stated anywhere, but is a possibility) I think the dad would do well to err on the side of caution as far as court dealings go. He might also try for a reintroduction of mom into the kids lives before he tries for child support. |
#34
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how to file for child support
"SpiderHam77" wrote in message oups.com... I agree with Snowshoe here... The time factor alone... over 6 years of Custody.. gives you whats known as Defacto Custody if nothing has ever been written on paper about the Custody. Meaning that the courts are not going to just upset the balance of the Children's lives, based on the fact that Mommy now wants them... I can't imagine any court ever doing such a thing. === The courts have done many things that we did not imagine. Yes, we are gunshy around here--for good reason. === |
#35
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how to file for child support
On Mon, 13 Feb 2006 00:35:34 GMT, "DB"
wrote: "Beverly" wrote in But since child support had already been addressed in the divorce (and not ordered with his consent), wouldn't retroactive support be limited to the time he files? True! Arrears only accrue from the time of an order is issued unless the child is under 6 years of age when filed and they take it all the way back to the date of birth as in my case! I'm pretty sure taking arrears back to the date of birth is a state by state thing. I know I supported my children 100% during the three years it took to get divorced and the order was not even retroactive to the date of filing, much less the day we parted ways. I suppose I could have argued that decision, but I really didn't care about getting money from my ex. My understanding is that previous rulings cannot be retroactively undone by new rulings (barring appeal) and that a modification may be sought, but that modifications will not be retroactive beyond the date of filing. Beverly |
#36
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how to file for child support
On 13 Feb 2006 09:37:59 -0800, "SpiderHam77"
wrote: I agree with Snowshoe here... The time factor alone... over 6 years of Custody.. gives you whats known as Defacto Custody if nothing has ever been written on paper about the Custody. Meaning that the courts are not going to just upset the balance of the Children's lives, based on the fact that Mommy now wants them... I can't imagine any court ever doing such a thing. 6 years is a long time... And if there have been no complications up until now.. why would the courts step in an intervine. I find the people who are so against the courts and how rulings are made, are the ones who have had a ruling made against them, and not the way they wanted it to go. SpiderHam77 I can't imagine any court granting unsupervised visitation to a child molester either, but I've seen it done. By the way, the same judge signed an order concerning the same family just three years earlier which identified the man as a child molester (he admitted to being one). Granted, the judge was dying from brain cancer at the time, but that did not affect the enforceability of her rulings. Beverly |
#37
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how to file for child support
"Beverly" wrote in I'm pretty sure taking arrears back to the date of birth is a state by state thing. Well, in Michigan, I owe $52,000 and I just immigrated here not long ago! |
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